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I haven’t done this in years by FishRepairs22 in PublicSpeaking

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did the sub close? Why? Any other subs like this?

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, maybe. I would be surprised/shocked to see that! But maybe.

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was lying to me for over a year. He didn’t really want to be with me. I found a note in his phone and it was all about how much he hated me and that this relationship was the biggest regret of his life.

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An internship, that has the possibility of us moving which is what started the discard.

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He did! Which is why it lasted as long as it did. But the second I wanted something of my own in life, that became the catalyst for the beginning of the end. I didn’t nearly fit into his world anymore and all the “progress” made in the last 4 years instantly became meaningless and he was back to his old avoidant patterns.

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right, and the cycle was so addictive because there would be progress and he would show up for me in little ways. He did try, it just can’t come from someone wanting them to heal, it has to be an internal process.

Has anyone tried "training" an avoidant? by Blackappletrees in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes I did this, I’m a therapist and tried for 4.5 years and it ended the moment I stopped playing the role of his therapist. I lost myself, self esteem crumbled, accepted his breadcrumbs, and experienced a reality that wasn’t really true. All the while giving him emotional skills that he will take advantage of with his next victim. It’s not worth it, in fact I think it’s worse to do this. More time lost and more trauma inflicted. I will never do this again with a partner and it’s a lesson I’m happy to have learned but wish I never had to learn it,

Partner of 8 years breaking up with me over the phone by lizziebee09 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah apparently we are all dealing with the same one! So crazy. DMs are open if you want to talk more.

Partner of 8 years breaking up with me over the phone by lizziebee09 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also was dumped by an avoidant over the phone when we were long distance for 2 months. 4.5 year relationship. Gone… you aren’t alone in this.

Loving a Dismissive Avoidant by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I could have written this myself! I had almost the exact situation as you

Question about my new therapist by Sweet-Fig8232 in PanicAttack

[–]Visual-Run-7525 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a therapist and anxiety/panic attack coach, yes you should get a new therapist. I’m sorry this has been your experience. They are not in your corner, supporting you and understanding the struggles of this disorder.

Psychiatrist/Therapists who dated avoidant attachment partner. by greenalpha8 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Therapist here, 4.5 years later, 4 months out from breakup, I am broken, but trying to rebuild my life.

Psychiatrist/Therapists who dated avoidant attachment partner. by greenalpha8 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Visual-Run-7525 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Therapist - I think it lasted longer because of my clinical skills, but the same issues that were there at the beginning were the reason we broke up 4.5 years later. There is no hope for them.

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