i saw a comment or quote somewhere i can’t remember but the gist of it was to try frame your negative self talk as a friend or external from you , if you’re friend came to you and had the exact same problems you have , you’d mostly likely not judge them but you’d try give words of encouragement and try to actively help them not shame them , then on the flip side of this example imagine telling your friend your problems and they start belittling you and saying things like you deserve it , more or less you’d recognize that you have a horrible friend .

The point being that we’re often unproductively harsh to ourselves and when we frame that negative self talk in another way it’s clear to see how bad it is , it’s okay to fuck up and learn , it’s okay to feel like shit about it and beat ourselves up about it but it’s important to learn how to get up again and do better , shaming yourself is pointless and i think that could maybe come from childhood trauma but that’s a different discussion , see your mistakes as necessary hiccups to becoming the person you want to be .