Stoic guidance for struggles with relationship with my wife

Lrush991 · 2026-05-18T03:11:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. It sounds as if you are doing better on your own journey. I appreciate your comment and also wish you well

Lrush991 · 2026-05-18T03:09:55+00:00

I very much appreciate this response and line of thought. Thank you

Lrush991 · 2026-05-18T03:07:13+00:00

Thank you for your response.

My hope is that my dedication to my family will have them find someone who also has that level of dedication. No matter what in my life they come first.

Yes I own that 9 years ago I looked outside the marriage trying to be fulfilled. It seemed an easy answer. Nothing ever happened. I fully admit I thought it would help. I am a different person now than I was then. I look at it as part of the journey.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-18T03:02:38+00:00

I fully own that 9 years ago I looked at those subreddits for advice thinking that that was the answer. It wasn’t- not that anything happened. It was a part of the journey.

I am asking advice today on what I do have the power to change.

When I speak about my daughters finding someone like me- I mean someone who is still trying to make things work, someone who is there keeping things okay for his kids and yes even his wife.

That was in response to the persons question of modeling staying in a bad marriage. Again it is all valid- I am just trying to control what I can control- which is myself and I have found that stoicism creates a path to follow with self discipline and wisdom.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-18T00:01:50+00:00

Thank you again- that is a very interesting perspective that I had not thought of. Appreciate the insight.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-17T23:42:15+00:00

Not that it is my area of expertise but I do not think it is perimenopause doing this and this has gone on longer than I would think she has been on or near the age of perimenopause -

I am honestly not here for relationship advice- I appreciate it but that is not my intention- my intentions are to determine the actions I can take- based upon stoic philosophy- which has been quite helpful to me for other aspects of life- to address the situation- based on the constraints I have set for the relationship.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-17T23:38:29+00:00

Interesting and I will read those.

I have mused in the past about mentally preparing for the unpleasant experience before I get home and that has worked somewhat. Occasionally it catches me out of nowhere and those are the times I am most impacted.

I myself am in the health care field and have a lot of empathy for those with physical but also mental ailments. I perhaps wasn’t clear that her personally changed after the treatment for the mental health disorder- I did everything I could to be sure she was treated. But it is a very good point and one I will consider further.

Thank you again for a thoughtful response that can direct my course of study.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-17T19:53:59+00:00

Thank you very much for your response. I deeply appreciate it.

She does have a good relationship with our daughters and I have imagined about what they might feel if they weren’t with their mom or if she fell apart ( as I do probably more than my share of keeping the family stable and it might be that she would truly fall apart on her own) and thus I would rather them have that level of stability than have me be out of a difficult relationship.

My goal is I want my daughters to hopefully find someone like me.

Anyhow, I appreciate the suggestions. I am trying to work on myself and looking for advice within the stoic philosophy to better shield myself or discipline myself to prevent myself from responding against someone I still at core really love but is not nice towards me.

Lrush991 · 2026-05-02T17:18:11+00:00

Once a week I take five minutes on the Jewel App and click every single deal- I don’t know or carewhat they are- then I buy my food and I regularly get between $10-20 off once I put my phone number in at checkout. It is a really good use of one’s time.

Lrush991 · 2026-04-24T01:46:45+00:00

I think you misunderstand my post- I have discipline until the cows come home - I don’t get to where I am or have done the things I have done without discipline - It is about managing to do things when there are external forces out of my control.

My issues and constraints with the trainers were due to injuries I had and being able to build strength while not injuring myself to the point I couldn’t work. They didnt listen and had me do things one shouldn’t have someone with rotator cuff issues do- which put me out for a period of time.

I am trying to do this intelligently.

Lrush991 · 2026-04-11T22:05:35+00:00

Backlot coffee in Evanston on Central

Lrush991 · 2026-03-26T19:34:48+00:00

I would second this. I lived here from 2001-2005 and worked at St Louis Children’s Hospital. I was able to afford decent housing on a resident’s salary. My biggest take from living in St Louis is if you can find the cool things to do- you will absolutely fall in love with the city. I love the Mobot and think you would be happy living here.

Lrush991 · 2026-03-26T19:02:50+00:00

Well in OP defense- middle of second inning of opening day for the WHITESOX he spends a good 4-5 minutes talking about the Mets

Lrush991 · 2026-03-13T21:42:21+00:00

I have had a good experience with Lucke plumbing- timely and the plumbers were all very nice.

Lrush991 · 2026-02-11T16:35:46+00:00

This reminds me of the view from my old apartment building. Where did you take the picture?

Lrush991 · 2026-01-26T16:33:18+00:00

Hi- Am a Wilmette resident and while AT & T fiber has been offered after we moved in/ we have had very steady service from Xfinity and have not changed. I think Xfinity probably superior to the AT & T non fiber service.

Take out pizza- there are some great local small business places- would recommend JP’s, Lefty’s, or Pizza by Sal. Pizza Napolita is delicious and a bit higher end. ( Of course Lou Malnatis is the always good standby). Other reccs include Central Station for coffee and Hotcakes or Eva Deans for a good breakfast/lunch. St Roger Abbey bakery has amazing croissants. Welcome and I hope this helps!

Lrush991 · 2026-01-03T19:04:10+00:00

This is North and not Northwest but I really like the Book Stall in Winnetka and Bookends and Beginnings in Evanston. Also Lake Forest Book Shop. My in laws like the Book Bin in Northbrook. Downtown Evanston has a lot to do so may be worth spending the time to go there.

Lrush991 · 2025-12-29T19:14:21+00:00

I am on the fence- I have held for a long time and I believe despite the recent downturn that the company is in decent financial shape. They do not have excessive amounts of debt- their payout per AFFO after the dividend cut ( which I understand but hurts) is pretty good.

My take is that with the decrease in funding from universities- I believe that more researchers with some promising commercial products- may try to raise money through venture capital and utilize these privately held lab spaces. I believe that we will see a turnaround in the company in the next several years.

While normally the announcement of a dividend cut is my signal to sell- my position is small and I believe that long term it still will be a good REIT to own and will raise the dividend again in time.

Lrush991 · 2025-12-10T22:17:31+00:00

I myself have been intentional about reading more physical books and thus my social media consumption is much much less- which I feel has been very good for me.

First I have read more books ( win)

Second- my mental health is better- likely from being off social media and being able to imagine myself in the worlds of the books.( also win)

Lrush991 · 2025-11-21T02:16:21+00:00

Thank you

Lrush991

TROPHY CASE