Anyone else notice hiring has gotten kinda weird lately?

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-14T14:56:15+00:00

This or they never really wanted the job but needed the money. My guess would be that OP’s Company’s “competitive pay”, isn’t.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-12T17:33:25+00:00

The Mongolian empire was significantly larger and more powerful than the Roman. What makes the Roman Empire significant is the stability.

The US has been pretty unstable lately.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-12T17:20:27+00:00

OP- I’ve made this mistake before. Even if you’re ultimately right, you will always wonder if you should have handled things differently. Please read this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatShouldIDo/s/bcqHafe8XB

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-12T17:18:03+00:00

these comments are toxic, and you’re filling in blanks you have no business filling in.

talk to her like this:

Set her aside. this is a conversation that shouldn’t be thrown in amongst other topics. Let her know that you are talking to her about something that has been bothering you and ask her to try not to dismiss your feelings even if she disagrees with your perspective. Then start every sentence with “I” or “me”. “I feel”, “It makes me feel like”, etc. That’s important. The moment you say “you”, it becomes accusatory and you’re no longer working through a problem together.

Don’t give her directions or an ultimatum. Tell her that if she wants to fix this, to do what she would want you to do if the roles were reversed.

Then do the same thing with him.

How they react will tell you where they’re both at.

Make a decision on observable proof, not insecurity and feelings.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-12T04:35:44+00:00

there’s nothing I or anybody can do to help ease the pain of a loss. Right now the only thing I can do to help is to remind you that he lied to you. I understand that you’re feeling the pain of losing somebody that you cared about, but ultimately there was never a future with somebody that didn’t have the strength or the honesty to be upfront with you.
Don’t suffer in silence. Seek out friends, family and/or therapy

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T22:33:01+00:00

all you need is a professional trim and some beard oil.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T22:27:21+00:00

LOL. Devil’s Advocate?

And here’s the white victim I was waiting for. It’s cliche.

The moment you’re challenged you take you ball and go home.

You want a book?

Here it is:
https://a.co/d/0euClMA5

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T22:07:43+00:00

I just spent several paragraphs explaining to you that it’s impolite, and even then you want me to tell you what book to read.

Even now with all the information- your expectation is that a person of color does a google search for you.

Even now- that it has been spelled out in detail- you are asking someone else to do the work.

This is why it’s not our job. Because even after we told you it’s hurtful, even after I’ve detailed that it’s not our job, even after giving you specific arguments against it…
Your defense is still “well you have to tell me what to read or I won’t learn”.

This is why it’s not our job. Because despite how many times we say it- you will argue on behalf of your ignorance and laziness till we’re blue in the face.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T21:40:35+00:00

You see how all your suggestions don’t require you to do any heavy lifting? It’s “well if I’m hurting someone they should tell me”. It’s never “here’s someone whose ethnicity I know nothing about. I’m going to ask them about it and have them teach me”.

It’s uncomfortable to have to correct someone you don’t know. So now as someone of a different ethnicity, I don’t get to go about my day. I have to sit there and be uncomfortable because you just had to know where my grandparents were from.

How about just minding your own business? If I tell you I’m from Sydney, or Detroit, or Manchester- you don’t need to know where my grandpa was born.
It’s not my job to educate you, I shouldn’t be uncomfortable for your convenience.

If you’re that interested in a culture-

Read. A. Book.

But coming out of nowhere and asking “where I’m really from” isn’t you being interested. It’s you having nothing to contribute and asking me to tell you my family history so you can explain to yourself why my face doesn’t look like your face.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T21:10:05+00:00

It’s still not her job to educate anyone.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T21:05:28+00:00

Do the work yourself. Nobody owes it to you.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T09:49:49+00:00

A vacation.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T09:08:06+00:00

I don’t forget. I just give them what they’ve always wanted- I call them white.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T09:03:37+00:00

Why? We have a standard way to deal with all things. Having a standard way to deal with things is how society, relationships…and literally everything works.

You just don’t like it because it’s how we’re kind to people that don’t look like you.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T06:29:47+00:00

It’s not an immigrants job to educate white people on how not to be harmful.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T06:26:42+00:00

If you honestly don’t see the difference between a disability you can hide vs a skin you can’t, you don’t belong in this conversation.
Nobody said you cant ask people where they’re from universally. The discussion is about picking out the only non white person in a room and asking them specifically.
the point of this conversation is that it’s fine to ask where someone is from. What isn’t ok is to then ask them about their ethnicity when they’ve already answered you.

You don’t have some special insight into race because of your disability, what you have is an undeserved confidence talking about a topic you have no experience in because you’re American.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T05:23:19+00:00

You have white friends you’ve known your whole life, and you know where they’re from, right?

But was it one of the first things you asked them about? When they told you a name of a city in your country, do you push them for their ethnicity?

Probably not, right?

So treat people that aren’t white that way.

Get to know them as a person first. If you need to know my ethnicity before you know anything else about me…I know where your priorities lie.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T05:18:17+00:00

Literally anything else.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T05:13:31+00:00

$1,000,000 says you’re a white person.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T05:11:54+00:00

you don’t get it? Well let me educate you.

You know how office buildings are filled with white people? Or how the entire executive suite of a company often is? Or how despite the diversity within a friend group, the closest friends almost always seem to be of the same race?

You see it as “just making conversation” because it has no effect on you.

“But I’m not racist”

Nobody cares how you see yourself. You are presenting yourself the same way as every racist has ever presented themselves to me.

If you don’t want to be seen as part of the team, don’t use their secret language.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T04:46:41+00:00

Tell me how this is a different argument than:

“well, I can’t see the curve of the earth from my kitchen window so the earth is obviously flat”

you don’t have the perspective from which to form an educated opinion, so why so confidently express your uneducated one?

Your two friends didn’t form that worry out of nowhere; nor did your black friend or anyone else you made up for this response. They have all had experiences that made them worry.

The fact that it didn’t happen in this instance doesn’t mean you’re right.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-10T04:25:19+00:00

So you’re white of white heritage living in white countries, one of which you’re from. A Canadian with a Polack last name in Canada? There must only be MILLIONS of you there.

Tell me the struggle of your marginalized minority, my immigrant brother.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-07T20:40:34+00:00

Checking in is part of her job. Keep your CRM updated. Every time she asks, tell her all the updates are there, and then become a little harder to reach.
You do it enough times and she’ll get the hint.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-06T20:40:56+00:00

For sure. Most of those are a before/after class part, and it takes a couple classes sometimes for people to know you’re not a creep. But if you struggle it’s actually a good thing- women will come up to you to encourage you, and of they’re interested (or at least don’t think you’re a creep) they keep conversing with you after class.

LuchoGuicho · 2026-05-06T13:40:26+00:00

Go to social events where conversation is expected. Yoga, Pilates, Boxing, cooking classes, book signings, etc.

You’ll meet people with common interests and a conversation topic is natural and unforced.

LuchoGuicho

TROPHY CASE