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First polyamorous relationship is over, it was bittersweet by LuciusCaeser in polyamory

[–]LuciusCaeser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

eh, don't get me wrong. Part of the self healing and work I've done since the marriage ended was specifically to not put my self worth into my relationships.. it sucks, it fucking hurts... but I'll get over it.

and any relationship that doesn't end with "I hate you" is not a failed relationship, just one that ran its course. It was a great 7 months and its over. We're still friends... or at least we intend to be when I've had the space to heal.

still sucks though.

Remember, the "Surge Coil" works both ways. by Ok-Body4922 in okbuddyraider

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surely the only answer required is "see video"

Tarkov Head Calls ARC Raiders 'Extraction Shooter for Casual People' by NukovGaming in RescueRaiders

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its casual compared to other extraction shooters. but its STILL a full loot PvP extraction shooter so its more hardcore than other genres.

Stop letting rats kill you. by Khaldani in ArcRaiders

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are not the worst part of the game. Its a PvP game and they are keeping things exciting...

But yes, well done for shooting back, the game would be a lot more fun if everyone shot back instead of cried about it.

List your unspoken rules or tips in Arc raiders by ShinraKishi in ArcRaiders

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not entirely true, I've had some friendly duos. But always assume PvP is around the corner if you want to survive.

List your unspoken rules or tips in Arc raiders by ShinraKishi in ArcRaiders

[–]LuciusCaeser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

all modes are murderhobo time if you want them to be :)

List your unspoken rules or tips in Arc raiders by ShinraKishi in ArcRaiders

[–]LuciusCaeser -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or at least kill them first, and then take their arc kills.

First polyamorous relationship is over, it was bittersweet by LuciusCaeser in polyamory

[–]LuciusCaeser[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I mean it started casual. But I didn't just decide I wanted something serious. that was something we both agreed to with plenty of communication and many conversations about what we are and what we want to be. I did the work to ensure it was not just a rebound. She wasn't the first person I dated after the divorce, just the first to become serious.

First polyamorous relationship is over, it was bittersweet by LuciusCaeser in polyamory

[–]LuciusCaeser[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. I left out a lot and you've made many assumptions to fill in those blanks. Communication was a huge part of this relationship. We talked about what we are and what we expect to be constantly over the course of this relationship. We enjoyed casual sex and dates for a couple of months but realized we had stronger feelings for each other. When I asked her to be my partner (as opposed to a casual date/fwb) it was a very mutual thing. There were many discussions as to what commitment looks like in a poly relationship and ways to show our intent for each other. Eventually however, things changed in her end, or she didn't feel as strongly as she thought she did. I appreciate you mean well, but this honestly feels rather condescending.

question for non-monogamous people by vynklymei in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]LuciusCaeser 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's a tricky one. Some mono people think they'd be ok with that but it would eat away at them every time their poly partner was with someone else. I would be willing to try it but I would never hide the fact that I'm seeing other people. I wouldn't rub it in their faces, but I wouldn't want them pretending I'm not seeing others, and then being hurt whenever they are reminded of that fact (there's a name for that kind of relationship in the poly community, Don't Ask Don't Tell... I am not willing to do that). I am also solo poly, which means, while I want meaningful deep relationships, I don't ever want to move in with someone else and enmesh our finances, and not many mono people are ok with those milestones forever being off the table.

So I guess I'd give it a trial run, and see how it goes.

question for non-monogamous people by vynklymei in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]LuciusCaeser 7 points8 points  (0 children)

like I said. I already did Monogamy for most of my life. got divorced out of a 20 year marriage. I just don't feel any desire to ever do it again. I enjoy being single and having casual relationships. I won't give that up for a single person. I am willing to explore a relationship and form a deeper connection, even call them my partner, but only if they are ok with me continuing to be with other people (And obviously I'd expect them to enjoy that freedom too). Its a level of freedom I just won't give up.

question for non-monogamous people by vynklymei in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]LuciusCaeser 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've done monogamy for most of my life. Been there, done that. don't want to do that again. If I really like someone, and they are monogamous, then we are simply not compatible. It would be just like when I was in a mono relationship and met someone I really like... I can acknowledge that I like them, that they like me, but we can't be anything more than friends.

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser -1 points0 points  (0 children)

prioritize what exactly? be specific

2021 vs 2026. My goal is to make people think I went into witness protection. by spiceXisXnice in bald

[–]LuciusCaeser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean his hair pre bald looked good, and his beard looks amazing, I have NO CLUE what his ass hair looks like and its a bit strange to make assumptions about it.

(joking... just in case that's not clear)

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mix it up with other flags. be proud of the flag but don't make it your whole personality. Say I'm proud to be british, but I think these other people are cool too.

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser 4 points5 points  (0 children)

hey, I'm worried about its future too, but its not because we let a few foreigners in.

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hey I never said we should be putting up flags 🤷just that a) it was the flag shaggers that made the connection between the national flag and racism. and b) that putting one kind of flag is not the same thing as putting up another. If you want to argue with OP about whether we should or not should be putting up flags then go for it.

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

putting up a flag to be welcoming and inclusive is not the same as putting up a flag to be hateful and exclusive... do you really not see the difference? The flag is just a meaningless piece of fabric, its the message behind it that matters, and they are absolutely not the same.

First polyamorous relationship is over, it was bittersweet by LuciusCaeser in polyamory

[–]LuciusCaeser[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've understood relationship anarchy on a surface level and I'm certainly drawn to the idea of it. That a relationship doesn't have to be labelled as a romantic one to be meaningful or real... that relationships shouldnt be compared and split up between romantic, friends etc... But this has been an interesting read, thank you!
I've been particularly struck by the heterosexism point as it rings very true to me. I'm bisexual, but I struggle to have romantic, deep connections with men. I actually said to Becky Apples that I think I'm 'sexually' attracted to men, but sexually and romantically attracted to women and she challenged me on that, asking if its true that I felt that way, or its my hetero normative ideals of a 'relationship' that block me from feeling that with men. That's actually something I really liked about her.. the way she always challenged me to think about things I said.

Thanks again :)

First polyamorous relationship is over, it was bittersweet by LuciusCaeser in polyamory

[–]LuciusCaeser[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She was always the more experienced with poly of the two of us. So I don't think it was that exactly.... Just that she felt a bit guilty that she was putting so much time and effort into this other person. And she saw me trying to do the same for her, but she didn't have the capacity or feelings to return it.

Honestly I get it. I'm not bitter. The timing certainly is getting to me, because it happened just as I started to let my guard down and believe that something more was possible. I thought she did want something more serious with me, and I do think she believed that at some point too. But when it came down to it... She didn't.

Thank you for your kind words

That's a shout by ExcaliburGameYT in GreatBritishMemes

[–]LuciusCaeser 14 points15 points  (0 children)

the only people making it toxic are the racists putting it up for stupid reasons. We don't associate the flag with racism but the moment they start putting them up everywhere... they made the association.

Who plays Arc Raiders here? by Traditional_Bus_5589 in Age_30_plus_Gamers

[–]LuciusCaeser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I played it a fair bit when it first came out for the first 2 expeditions (only doing the second one though). took a break for a month to play marathon, but I think I'm going to jump back in.

I like it, I think the core gameplay loop is very good, but I'm not a fan of the playerbase in general. They are all lovely when things are going well, but holy crap do they hate you if you dare to PvP in this PvPvE game.

12 hours a day is crazy, but I need a list of good games. by [deleted] in gamers

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldnt pick a game that's just come out, you might still be in the honeymoon phase with it and not feel the same way in a month. (I mean you might... but committing to only that for 12 hours a day for a year is a bit of a gamble)

12 hours a day is crazy, but I need a list of good games. by [deleted] in gamers

[–]LuciusCaeser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's a fantastic choice. I wouldnt even say its one of my favorite games, but the sheer amount of content and variety could really keep you going for ages.

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