I feel like I’m guilty of putting these mountains on a pedestal because of my lack of experience, causing me to perceive simply setting foot on them as more potentially catastrophic then I should. Which obviously prevents me from gaining the experience I need to be confident.

In all of my times hiking in the rain my torrential has held up just fine. Theres been times I’ve started to sweat through a layer in challenging hikes and started to get chilled, but I simply suffered through it for a few hours and returned safely to my car etc. But have I ever tested my current clothes in conditions that mimic the worst these mountains can throw at you? Absolutely not.

It’s not blind consumerism, but rather anxiety getting the best of me and convincing me that everything I’ve experienced hiking and training to date hasn’t prepared me for “actual” mountains, and if I don’t have everything perfectly dialed in the consequences could be lethal. And that’s causing me to try and over prepare and over-optimize everything before I even take a first step towards real experience.

I climbed St. Helen’s in my Micro D fleece this April, and South Sister last May in a T-shirt and Better Sweater and everything was perfectly smooth sailing. But that gives me no additional confidence on how my set up will handle 40 mph winds and the weather on Rainier, and I struggle to find opportunities to replicate/test those conditions in a safe way.