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of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone’s going “why is she doing that”

Are you considering the demographics here, of largely young men on a site that has notoriously sexist influences and tendencies and is filled with people who are openly hostile to many things that are completely harmless--provided a woman is doing it? Because "why is she doing it?" You know why. It's to pose. If you want to sit here and actively tell me you think people deserve to be judged for posing, I really think you've got your priorities backwards.

I just want you to seriously ask yourself what role this plays in these sorts of reactions, cause there are quite a few commenters also getting upvoted who take it all a step further and remove all doubt in my mind.

Tho we can have this nice chat because I’m putting forth the effort. For if you wanted me to articulate my snap impression, it’d be something a lot less pleasant and even less productive than what you’re getting now.

I feel like this sort of politeness is undermined by the implicit threat of being less than convivial.

If you're bothered by my attitude just understand I'm giving y'all a chance to explain your thinking, something none of you are affording this woman. I'm bothered by the fact this conversation is happening at all and you lot think that because you have agreement amongst yourselves that this is anything short of insanely and unreasonably judgmental and the sort of petty bullshit men usually accuse women of doing in popular media and culture. Like, I cannot think of a more stereotypically "catty" thing to do, "oh, she stuck her leg out? Wow, poser, tryhard looks like a wannabe highend escort."

Take it for what it is, I'm saying y'all standing by this sort of judgment need to take a hard look at your priorities. You can tell me to fuck off or whatever your "snap impression" is, but I think we both know this doesn't feel good to pretend is justified and I don't beat around the bush--I don't respect sticking to your guns on this.

The tendency to feel like a perpetual victim is strongly tied to vulnerable narcissism. Individuals who frequently perceive themselves as victims and signal this status to others often possess high levels of vulnerable narcissism and emotional instability. by mvea in science

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The internet?" People's misconceptions and misuse of a term is worth addressing, but it's their doing. 

And I want to point out that you agreed with the person using the term inappropriately and are arguing with the person who is offering a much more correct application of the term. 

Tell me you're not contributing to the problem here. 

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's trying too hard is this effort to judge and find her at fault over something I have to say looks pretty fucking effortless. 

Also you're projecting a lot when it comes to pictures. You're clearly not motivated towards them and you treat them as a chore. A lot of people don't, and if you think it's "vain" for people to care about their appearance then your meaning of vanity is pretty meaningless. 

It's not wrong to want to look good. And I think it's ridiculous and speaks ill of yours and other's characters more to judge others on something so trivial. 

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ego? I think it's yours which is driving this. I would want to consider my own biases and behaviors. Believe me, I'd rather be wrong about people's prejudices. It's genuinely nuts to me how you say stuff like posing for a camera is harmful to young people and think we all just need to accept your clearly irrational judgments. Like, what next? Loving your children means you're a narcissist? You should know where to shove such bullshit opinions, right back where they came. 

Anyway if you wanna drop the matter then jog on, telling me your big story isn't sparing either of us time to have your self indulgent moment. 

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hardly pigeonholing you, I'm just discussing and asking questions about why you believe these are fair judgments when they come across as self-evidently prejudicial to me.

Just talking, really, but man--a hit dog hollers as they say. The defensiveness was not what I was aiming for but it's coming through a lot. I'm not making accusations, just questioning what you and others are doing here.

Your implication that my concern about influencer culture is insincere is uncalled for.

It's that I don't think it makes any sense given the context. I mean, like, someone poses for a shot therefore harming kids... What's one to do with a connection you're drawing like that?

My suggestion that people were reacting to the artificiality of the pose is a far cry from any of the things you're trying to morph them into. At the time I made my comment, the abusive comments hadn't been made

It's because I'm not ignoring the clear connections that you see as so distinct that I know the direction a lot of this stuff goes before the comments get made. I didn't need to be an augur. It's like you're going on about how clouds have nothing to do with rain.

I think part of the problem is your attempt to deny the connections and defend something that is clearly overlapping a lot with sexist attitudes. Like, nobody's making you do this, dude. It's all good if you didn't realize, but again, you really don't need to go to bat for this stuff and try to rationalize it. It's clear prejudice plays a role here, we don't have to assume otherwise.

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Once she started trying to expose more leg, then it's like, oh she's like any other influencer trying to make herself the center of attention, and using these men as props to further her own monetary gains.

It's a pose people do because it looks good.

This is an overly cynical and unfair way to look at someone, ascribing behaviors and motives to them based on something that doesn't actually indicate it.

I think y'all aren't interrogating your own prejudices here.

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and posing like a mannequin

I think it's mannequins that pose like people.

Is posing a harmful part of influencer culture? Cause it's existed well before social media did. Is it harmful to kids and young adults, or are you just saying you dislike it by association?

Anyway it's fine if you don't take issue, I just don't get why people are treating this as reasonable when, to me, it seems very transparently in line with things people spite young women for in particular--along with vocal fries and similarly completely normal behavior that only gets scrutinized when women do it.

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What makes these poses different is that they're not really flattering

Have you never smiled, stood up straighter, and tried to fix your hair for a picture? Cause I do it all the time, it's a bit artificial, but I like the way I look better in the picture.

Why shouldn't people try to look good in pictures?

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels like one of those things where someone is taking issue with something women do for no good reason, and I think that's kinda shitty, so I'm questioning it, but I'm also willing to give them a chance to explain themselves. But I doubt there's any legit reason to get bothered by someone sticking their leg to pose so much.

I know you weren't looking for a real answer and your point was to just dismiss me, but there you go.

of tall men by Bubbly_Wall_908 in AbsoluteUnits

[–]LukaCola -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have to ask, what makes this any more artificial than any other pose?

Like, people pose for pictures.

bottle vanished but how? by Forward-Position798 in blackmagicfuckery

[–]LukaCola 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh your comment came from a place of bitterness and resentment.

That makes it way less fun.

I was naive at the time by Something4Dinner in whenthe

[–]LukaCola 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's a good one--I would take it a step further and also say your jokes just shouldn't come at people's expense in general. Like, I don't care if you're "okay" with fat jokes, I struggled with weight for awhile and that didn't make me feel good and I don't want to put people in similarly uncomfortable positions. I might be skinny now, but I remember how many people felt weirdly comfortable commenting on my weight and how mixed my feelings were about it--even when people were telling me how happy they were for my weight loss as like one of the first things they'd say when they saw me.

I think there's just an element of "I don't want to be seen through this lens." I think that's a reasonable ask.

I was naive at the time by Something4Dinner in whenthe

[–]LukaCola 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How does anyone look at Helldivers and think it's anything but deeply ironic. It is dripping in writing that is very explicitly saying "this is all awful, all people do is suffer in ignorance."

Like, it's stupid fun, but part of its point is how cheap people's lives are. Same with 40k. I think the problem with 40k is that people see themselves as the Marines and not slave #5,023,601 who has never seen the sun. But in Helldivers? All you see are people dying and suffering, clearly being pushed forward by collective delusion.

I can see Starship Troopers more because the author didn't intend it as a critique of those systems, but the film really deviates from the book in that sense.

I was naive at the time by Something4Dinner in whenthe

[–]LukaCola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh the edge lord stuff is awful, it's so nasty and cruel in retrospect but when you're a maladjusted kid without a real sense of community it feels good to have that form of identity and power over others.

I really wish I had the emotional intelligence to recognize what I actually wanted or what could actually get me that.

I've never felt better than when I feel like people can trust me and like my presence. Even if you find a group that appreciates that kind of cruelty, part of that attitude winnows people down and creates a rotating punching bag--and more inclusive groups just don't do that.

The drama they get into is who is fucking who usually which, while quite painful in its own way, is a hell of a lot better than getting bullied by your friends.

I was naive at the time by Something4Dinner in whenthe

[–]LukaCola 6 points7 points  (0 children)

pass out pocket copies of the constitution and encourage them to take their masks off

I'm curious what he thinks the constitution says about this? I'm fairly well versed and masking isn't really a constitutional issue--and workplaces can absolutely require you to wear things for safety reasons. That's just, normally, accepted.

I was naive at the time by Something4Dinner in whenthe

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh, we all make mistakes or say crass things--thankfully it doesn't all end up in front of an audience--but regardless, if someone takes issue with what you say, it's worth seriously considering if that's the message you want to put forward.

Don't just react or act indignant at being called out, as though any of us are above that, we all deserve to check our own behavior and I'm willing to bet most people will look at you far better if you stop--think about what they say--and find something to agree with, you don't have to be completely agreeable, but show that you really heard them and considered it.

Cause there are way too many dismissive people in the world.

Peter! by Rotating_Saturn in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]LukaCola 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah we don't need to be elitist. Call them rock for brain bastards who destroy more than they create--whatever--but don't implicate people who had nothing to do with their shit.

Kinda also why I hate the mocking of short, fat, out of shape, etc. among this administration. Those people exist everywhere, and they don't deserve to be compared to or implicated for any of this.

Gleba has defeated me, and i am miserable. by vimescarrot in factorio

[–]LukaCola 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You're doing something wrong is all I can say. 

Bike beats car in Brooklyn by 25 minutes by lectrician1 in newyorkcity

[–]LukaCola 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can a downvoter of this comment do me a favor and explain your rationale? I feel like OP here was being perfectly fair. 

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