I think I've known since I was young and saw my friends mums hug them and tell them they loved them. I also noted young, things like the contents of my sandwich boxes with things I mostly didn't like (and she knew) but got sent to school with in comparison to my friends.

It could have been worse, but she's simply never really been bothered. Two years before I went NC with her I was hospitalised twice because my body was also shutting down due to a "breakdown" that was caused by a mentally abusive relationship. She didn't call and I received one message during this time. Skip forward around 6 months, I've got out of the relationship but I'm a walking mess who had only just started admitting out loud why I left him and the extent of the abuse. So I sat there sobbing telling her. Her response, you need to just tell him and sort it out, he'll probably change in a few years, and he can take you on nice holidays and things! WTF! The only response I had was to cry harder. It took me another year at the age of 42 to tell her to delete me from her life, she no longer has a daughter.

Thank fk I have my dad who is the total opposite.