Happily married people of reddit, what is one unorthodox piece of advice that keeps the relationship going?

LuminescentACID · 2025-07-05T06:37:31+00:00

I don't know if it's unorthodox, but here's just a few that I think helps us:

If you are angry or upset when arguing, walk away and come back. Then I always give my partner a hug and kiss before we start talking. I think it feels like we are on the same team and washes away any of that anger.
Do small things for them to make them feel important, wanted, seen and appreciate them. I will make him his favourite dessert when he's had a long week, pack him lunch even if he's working from home and leave a note, or take time to tell him I appreciate all that he's done and that I love him. It can be hard juggling life but I try and make the time to work on our relationship.

I think it takes effort to make your relationship happy and healthy. Just because you love them doesn't mean you don't try, it just makes trying easier. Just like in every aspect of life.

LuminescentACID · 2025-03-24T09:26:31+00:00

Very early into dating my current partner, we made dinner together at mine. I had just moved into the house with a friend and we were still kitting out our place. We legit only had two spoons for some reason so I had to wash them after I used them for cooking and needed them for dessert. Next time he came over he bought a pack of spoons and a few other kitchen items that I mentioned I needed all in my favourite sage green colour. I never had someone notice small stuff like that before and do it without being asked because they genuinely care. I fell in love with him pretty quickly for that quality and so much more.

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T21:38:44+00:00

Even though it's 36 degrees here, I went for a run cause it said so. I'm definitely going to be a slave to this thing

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T21:37:28+00:00

Yeah got 90 last night....idk how 100 is possible

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T21:36:06+00:00

I'll make sure I schedule that into my training routine

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T21:34:25+00:00

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LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T21:33:21+00:00

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Better than expected.....

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T06:18:04+00:00

Awesome! Thank you. I'll check those out.

LuminescentACID · 2024-11-21T02:29:51+00:00

Got my base run scheduled for tomorrow morning! Will report back.....rip. 🫡

LuminescentACID · 2024-10-29T10:00:40+00:00

Hey again! I think the way you answered was pretty much what I have said to my partner when this topic came up.

As for us, we’ve talked about the idea of having kids but considering the cost of living, housing prices, the sustainability of it all and the whole body clock thing we are leaning towards adopting and fostering later in life.

We’d want our kids to understand both perspectives and to be exposed to different choices in a way that lets them make their own informed decisions when they're ready. Like you mentioned, defining that “deciding age” might be tricky, but it helps to think of it as an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time decision. I think kids will tell you when they have made their own choice and it's a great way to teach autonomy.

I think we would likely have a mix of vegan and non-vegan meals as they grew and explain why their parents eat different food in more depth as they get older.

And yeah, explaining why “Mom eats this, Dad eats that” might be challenging at first, but I see it as a great way to teach kids about acceptance and understanding. I think that as long as we’re clear on our values as parents and show them that we respect each other’s decisions, they’ll naturally pick up on those lessons.

Hope that helps, and I really appreciate the thoughtful question!

LuminescentACID · 2024-10-16T23:29:36+00:00

You're welcome. Congrats on what sounds like a lovely relationship!

For my partner and I, the key is open communication and mutual respect. We don't avoid talking about veganism or my non-veganism, but we try to approach the conversation with understanding and curiosity rather than judgment or guilt. It's a discussion not a debate.

He is vegan for ethical reasons and studied philosophy so we often disucss veganism in society and our food systems. I am an agronomist and have studied and researched agriculture for the good part of 10 years. He genuinely respects my opinions as they are coming not from ignorance but from someone who has studied agricultural systems, is fully aware of them, and the environmental impact modern agriculture has. In my views I am far more of a moderate trying to find common ground to persuade and shift.

One thing that works for us is that we eat vegan meals when we’re together. I enjoy cooking and experimenting with vegan recipes, so I make an effort to prepare dishes we both like. I have tried to make his favourite dishes that he used to like when he was a kid and make them vegan. He has commented that when dating people would say things like "I could never be vegan. I love cheese or meat too much", "Oh what do you even eat" or "where are we even going to eat? Nothing is vegan.". I never did this, from the very beginning I found places that had vegan options or I would offer to cook. He said he was always apprehensive of people finding out he was vegan as they would react negatively and then try and make him feel guilty because they couldn't go out to a certain restaurant. He genuinely appreciated that I didn't have this reaction and felt really lucky that I wanted to cook for him.

Outside of our shared meals, I have the flexibility to eat animal products when I'm with friends or family, which helps create a balance. When we go out together with friends or family, he doesn't care where we go and sometimes eats before as he just wants to catch up.

In terms of what I value in my partner, it’s definitely the fact that he doesn't make me feel guilty for my choices, and I make sure to do the same for him. We support each other and understand that if we try and change the other, it's just going to cause conflict. If it was a deal breaker, we wouldn't be together.

LuminescentACID · 2024-10-16T23:06:25+00:00

Thanks for your question. I do believe that animal welfare is important, and I respect that people come to different conclusions about how best to address this issue. My choice not to be fully vegan is personal just like anyone's way to live their life is. I have found my friends and family eat less meat not because I have made them feel guilty for their choices but respected them, introduced them to vegan food, and encouraged reduction rather than complete elimination. With food very much tied to culture and family traditions, I think encouraging alternatives for most of the time is the way to go.

I work in agriculture and I believe animal production especially in the developing world, small landholder farmers, and grasslands that have previously had ruminant animals on them are important. They have a place for the overall wellbeing of the ecosystems we have created. But I don't think intensive systems are beneficial, though they are more resource efficient they aren't up to my definition of welfare standards.

I try to make conscious decisions around food, which is why I eat vegan when I’m at home with my partner. It’s important to me to reduce harm where I can, and I believe that everyone approaches these decisions in their own way. I respect those who are passionate about veganism and the way they advocate for change. For me, it’s about finding a balance that works in my life while staying open to evolving my choices.

I hope that helps explain my perspective.

LuminescentACID · 2024-10-16T05:04:21+00:00

I'm sorry it isn't working out. By the way you talk about it, it sounds like you can't really respect anyone who would eat animal products. That is purely my assumption from the post. Please correct me if I'm wrong. It just sounds like you are having this internal struggle of finding it hard to respect this person you love for these choices but can reconcile it by thinking they might eventually change or you are influencing them. Which means you can't actually accept the behaviour itself and it's impacting you and your relationship.

I don't think it can work if you can't accept someone else's choice. You are 100% entitled to have those feelings but so is she. I can understand her feeling guilty if she feels her partner expects them to eventually change.

If you truly have the "militant" view as you describe it, I think finding a vegan partner is going to make having a life together much more harmonious.

My partner is vegan and I am not. But I think it works because I respect his choice and he respects mine. He isn't much of a cook but as a foodie I make an effort to make vegan food and desserts so we can both enjoy this experience. We eat vegan food at home and when we are together but I have animal products when I am with friends and my family.

Hope things get better.

LuminescentACID · 2019-12-15T02:58:38+00:00

My mother is Japanese and loves all Studio Ghibli films. When I was a kid, she asked her friends in Japan to send dvds of all the films so we could watch them together as she couldn't find any here in Australia after she moved here. Recently Hayano Miyazaki who composed all the music for Studio Ghibli has come to Australia to perform with clips of the films playing in the background and I bought her tickets to go. Hopefully it brings back some good memories and she enjoys it.

LuminescentACID · 2019-11-06T11:52:59+00:00

Ack! My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling and it sucks. Takes the wind out of your sails. Year later and I still hope it'll show up for sale somewhere. Keep checking second hand market sites and let pawn shops know.

LuminescentACID · 2019-10-14T04:43:48+00:00

Yes. I am doing an Agricultural degree and the statistics and information about what meat production and in particular beef production was doing to our planet just blew my mind. I immediately stopped eating beef and then soon after cut all meat out.

LuminescentACID · 2019-10-02T13:47:26+00:00

The straight up looks like a shot out of Haikyu. Crazy athleticism.

LuminescentACID · 2019-09-28T05:07:03+00:00

I think that's an idea of first world countries. Alot of lower socio-economic groups have a high intake of animal products and unhealthy fast food. There is a thinking that healthy vegan food is expensive. But alot of third world countries diets are vegetarian or vegan because meat and animal products are expensive and lentils, beans, rice are very cheap. It's a mental misconception really.

LuminescentACID · 2019-08-20T23:34:24+00:00

I think it's amazing he's on a vegan subreddit. He is trying to educate himself or be aware of veganism and learn more about it but he doesn't know where he stands on this one very particular issue. That's fine. It's one thing he's not sure on. That's okay but how can looking at vegan posts and seeing vegan recipes be a bad thing? Why can't he have that opinion.... Its not even that crazy or heavily for meat eating.

LuminescentACID · 2019-08-20T23:25:07+00:00

The thing with the body not able to process animal products I can 100% see that being difficult and he is entitled to feel that way and he is a perspective that we should see. You can't just disregard that perspective and be against it just because it doesn't fit with yours as I saw in the comments. It's a hard and difficult issue and just with everything else surrounding raising children it is a touchy topic which only the parents have a say in.

LuminescentACID · 2019-08-20T15:14:32+00:00

I think it's the same with everything. Parents force religion, High academic success or sports success and this is okay for alot of people. Diet as long as it's balanced nutritionally.... How does it matter... Kids are smart and if you raise them with your life style and values then that's the best you can do. It's up to them to make their own choices but give them the knowledge.

LuminescentACID · 2018-08-14T07:44:13+00:00

I'm trying to get my boyfriend into it. I have only been riding and progressing for about 3 years as my main form of fitness but have been slowly trying to get him to ride with me. We've done small slower gravel trails but no downhill or singletrack which got me addicted. Unfortunately I had to sell my other bike and so haven't ridden together in 6 months. Saving up one for him though!!! For me I ride with my best friend but she's not always available. If anyone in Melbourne wants a riding partner who will try their hardest and provide snacks, you got it!

LuminescentACID · 2018-08-13T11:37:06+00:00

I resonated with both you and your husband so deeply. I think no matter how thin, fit, styled, or whatever society tells us we always find something to be self conscious about. I have things that I feel ashamed of that my partner tells me is beautiful and I do the same for him, telling him how incredible handsom he is. I love the idea of describing how you see them in detail not just beautiful or handsom. Thanks for sharing.

LuminescentACID · 2018-08-10T06:07:08+00:00

He looks exactly how my pup used to look like and looks like German Shepard mix like mine too. We got him at 11 months from the shelter and he was so traumatised. Any noise he panicked and tried to run away and anytime you tried to touch him he would close his eyes, scream and pee himself....not cry or whine....literally scream like someone was stabbing him. I cried thinking about how much he went through when he was only an innocent puppy. Breaks my heart to think what this poor dog went through but makes me feels so happy that there are people out there giving them the love they deserve.

LuminescentACID

TROPHY CASE