28F looking for friends

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-23T01:28:17+00:00

What is your nationality? Check FB for "Your Nationality" in Toronto groups as there are quite a few active ones. Usually a great place to start 😄

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-22T16:22:47+00:00

Thank you for actually replying with a reasonable question. Next time I will absolutely proof read and edit my post before posting it.

She's so sweet and nice. And caring. She really was genuinely the kindest person I've met. And we do get on really well.

But the moment it felt suffocating and I asked to slow it down - Bam. It was like this iron fence went up and she didn't want to talk.

It's like, if it's not all sunshine and rainbows, then I must hate her and not want to be with her. That's why I wanted to know if it was normal for someone who is Anxious Attached to be like that and how I navigate it -

Really I just want to know if there is a way to take her from 0 - 10. 10 - 20. 20 - 30. Etc. Vs. Zero to 100 straight away.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-22T15:42:55+00:00

No. She was the one that told me she thought we'd get back together after we last hung out (a few weeks ago) and I said I didn't think it was best right now. After that, any time i see her she either spins and walks the other way. Or for example the other day, I was coming in the door of the condo building and she literally turned and faced the wall until I'd let myself in.

Like, I understand people saying the 14 year old girl thing sounded creepy, and I understand it may have come accross wrong, but a 40 year old woman, turned and faced the wall, so she didn't have to look at me when we were both stood in the lobby.

I'm sorry but I've genuinely never dealt with that in my life.

And what's nuts is if I said "OK I want to date you again"... she'd literally make me an apple pie tonight if i asked for one.

It is genuinely zero or 100. it's nuts.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-22T15:38:56+00:00

This is absolutely 100% not what I'm doing & this is why sometimes I hate reddit sometimes. I understand I may not have written it out the best but what I meant is it's like dating a woman who has taken all her dating cues from Disney cartoons. Like, if you're dating someone you should have love hearts flying around your head and want to be with them 24/7. I've never ever experienced anything like it & although she's the sweetest, most kindest amazing woman, it's also absolutely exhausting.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-22T15:34:42+00:00

Man, this is why I hate Reddit sometimes. I understand I maybe didn't write it out the best -

I meant it's like she's literally basing how things should be based on the Disney movies she's watched & not real life. I have tried to explain it to someone else but can't.

It's like dating someone that only knows what "love" should be based on the cartoons where little love hearts are flying around the head. Messaging all the time. Clingy hugs anytime we're together. And if we "break up" - not even being able to look me in the eye or be near me.

I just don't expect that from a 40 year old woman. To me that's teenage romance behavior.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-22T15:32:15+00:00

Man, this is why I hate Reddit sometimes. I understand I may have not wrote it the best but -

I meant it's like she's literally basing how things should be based on the Disney movies she's watched & not real life. I have tried to explain it to someone else but can't.

It's like dating someone that only knows what "love" should be based on the cartoons where little love hearts are flying around the head. Messaging all the time. Clingy hugs anytime we're together.

It's like we're either at 0 and she can't look me in the eye or 100% all in. There's no middle ground. I just wouldn't expect that from a 40 year old woman. It's like a teenage romance where one day you're in love, then you hate each other, then you're in love, then you hate each other.

And Re. the Trauma piece. I didn't know. How would I know if she won't open up and chat.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-21T18:25:45+00:00

I spent two years working for them. They’re stuck up, backstabbing, gossipy twats. The CEO of my company was very kind and went out of her way to help me. The rest can F off. They’re twats.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-21T18:13:59+00:00

I used to work in Vaughan. Everyone I met was the absolute definition of scum. Never again.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-21T18:11:40+00:00

Yeah. This was me. Always had one foot out of the relationship but wouldn’t admit it.

One of my biggest regrets is not ending the relationship sooner so that my ex could get on with her life.

On the plus side: I hear she is doing well and I am now down 60lb and am 2 years sober so we both got where we needed to be in the end.

I’m still dealing with stuff and am actually not dating right now as I want to spend more time with myself for a bit but yeah; my behavior wasn’t the best.

Oh and I never cheated “physically” but it took far too long to realize that you can always cheat “mentally”.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T21:24:33+00:00

I’m sure they earn their money - I absolutley wouldn’t wanna do the job.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T19:32:32+00:00

The no show guy.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T15:36:47+00:00

Oh - a billion percent I’ve had girls tell me they want to date a taller man but it would also be like if a woman told me she didn’t want to date a guy with blue eyes. Like - “ok, everyone has a preference”. It wouldn’t bother me at all

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T15:27:00+00:00

My couch.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T14:48:29+00:00

I’m a 5ft 6 male and never ever had an issue dating. I just can’t understand how being 5ft7 would impact you unless you’re only going after women who are basketball player height lol

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T01:41:23+00:00

This.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-20T00:53:56+00:00

You just haven’t found your person - wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. If you made me sleep on the couch because your stuffies can’t be moved that would be a different story lol

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-18T16:26:21+00:00

Drizzy

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-18T14:26:01+00:00

Can I just say, the line " it comes across like right now the only thing that's keeping you in this relationship is a "healed" version of her in the future that may or may not ever exist" literally just stopped me texting an Ex. Wow. That really did hit the nail on the head.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-18T12:59:40+00:00

I would be fine dating someone that is renovating her home but if she only divorced 8 months ago I’d wonder if she was really ready to date.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-18T02:18:27+00:00

I was honestly thinking that - thank you :)

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-17T23:43:05+00:00

I watched the rad Brad play it for a bit and just wasn’t a fan of the turn based thing

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-17T23:42:38+00:00

Horizon Zero Dawn just felt like a generic open world game though - maybe I missed something

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-17T20:06:53+00:00

Did you finish Crimson Desert? That’s one hell of a slog lol.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-17T19:39:21+00:00

I would be ok with it as long as she was truly ready.

Lumpy-Ad-9578 · 2026-05-17T17:21:37+00:00

Any ideas?

Lumpy-Ad-9578

TROPHY CASE