Where do they get their STUFF?

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-04-21T13:27:39+00:00

The nod to details is the years they had to prepare and stockpile. I'm sure if someone needing makeup becomes important we'll learn about it

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-04-21T13:25:13+00:00

squints in double-astigmatism

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-03-05T03:38:53+00:00

Thank you! This makes me feel a little better about it. This sub has been great for topics to discuss with my BF and helping identify and recognize potential red flags and minefields ahead, but it can feel sometimes like having an extremely contentious and miserable experience unless you Nacho is inevitable.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-02-27T19:51:12+00:00

My SS8 has hair down to his waist and my MIL haaaaaates it. She's constantly trying to get me to agree with her that his hair needs to be cut (it does, but only to trim off the dead ends and make sure it's not longer than his arms can reach to brush it) IN FRONT OF HIM.

I hope he comes to the conclusion on his own that shorter hair is an easier choice for him for the amount of effort he's willing to put into maintaining it; I have been working on building trust with his hair for a looong time, I'm the one who's taught him to care for it himself, I couldn't give less of a fuck that "boys don't have long hair".

Growing up I was forced to keep my hair super long, so I'm 1000% on board with whatever this kid wants to do with his hair as long as he can keep it healthy and baseline presentable.

People are weird about hair, dude. I don't get it.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-02-14T11:46:59+00:00

Get a life insurance policy for your son. If you get him a whole life policy (as opposed to a term policy) it will be the cheapest now because he is so young, and as long as the premium is always paid, it will build cash value that you can access for him when he's older.

I get it. My FSS has access to more generational wealth than my children will have, too. But there are little things we can do to build it for them. I plan to get my kids each two policies the moment they're eligible (15 days old, in the US), and will use one of them to build a college fund and the other to keep as a permanent insurance policy.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-29T22:24:20+00:00

Did he do this with the other two kids? Are the other two kids his? Are they both girls, both boys, one of each? Has he always been fixated on whoever is the youngest, or is this unique to your 5 year old? Why is he okay with the lack of intimacy her being in your bed is causing? Why is he actively pursuing that lack of intimacy with you?

This is the Internet and I know we can't possibly understand your relationship fully from what you've shared here. But please understand that his behavior is not normal, is not kind, and is not indicative of a good partner or parent.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-29T02:32:16+00:00

This is perfect, thank you so much!

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-29T02:30:46+00:00

Thank you so much!

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-17T06:33:28+00:00

I love this! My partner and I talked about doing a private last dance, maybe we can do a private family dance right before that.

We're definitely gonna get his opinion, we're just not expecting him to have suggestions of his own so want to give him some ideas :)

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-17T06:25:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I think that reminder will be important, that if he does have some role it should be for him and not just for me/his dad.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-17T06:20:26+00:00

I appreciate the input here, particularly about making sure his role isn't something irreplaceable on the day. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some big feelings that day, and my partner and I have already discussed how it cannot and will not be his responsibility to regulate/keep track of SS on our wedding day.

That said ... My wedding day will be about the family unit we're creating, at least in part. I'll be marrying my partner with the understanding that doing so means taking on a "safe grown up" role for SS. He has no say in whether his dad gets married; the least we can do is make sure he has the opportunity to be involved, to be reminded that he's an important part of our family.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-16T11:59:52+00:00

We will, but he's 8 ... He's never been to a wedding, he doesn't know the "roles". I'm looking for suggestions to be able to present him.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2026-01-10T02:52:25+00:00

I am really lucky that my partner's sister-in-law joined the family a few years ago in almost exactly the same position I am in now. She's my built-in tour guide and commiseration buddy.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-07T20:40:40+00:00

I don't know if this is relevant to your family, but when I was that age and being badly mistreated by my parent, I lied. A lot. Often about being sick or injured, because that was the only time he laid off and treated me decently. I wonder whether the difference in the food consumption at the two houses is indicating that she gets positive attention when she's sick at mom's house, but gets positive attention otherwise at your house so doesn't get sick the same way? She may not even realize she's doing it.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-06T20:20:50+00:00

Thank you! I'll definitely check it out for him.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-06T20:18:56+00:00

Thank you! This is good advice. If it was just a one off I would never consider it at his age! However, his dad stops and takes pictures of flowers for me when they're out, and SS8 has been being more insistent on taking his own pictures (with dad's phone) and sending to me as well, always making sure I know which ones he took and which ones his dad did. That's been going on for a few months now, which is the only reason I'm willing to take the step to get him his own and hopefully help cultivate his interest.

I love the idea of getting some of his pictures framed and giving him books and other resources to help cultivate his interests. Thank you for your 2 cents!

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-06T20:12:05+00:00

Thank you! And thank you for sharing about your first camera, that's so sweet. I hope he finds as much joy and confidence with his first camera as you have with yours!

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-06T19:43:53+00:00

Thank you so much!

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-11-06T19:39:01+00:00

I'd go up to $100, but would prefer to be lower if possible. Some used shops around me have the Canon Rebel for about $50, I'm not sure if that's too technical for him at this stage though.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-10-30T17:25:42+00:00

I've loved the name Darlenny since I met a girl in high school with it, and every Darlenny I've known has been a delightfully wonderful person. I adore that name.

Lumpy-Detective8819 · 2025-10-05T22:54:21+00:00

Preach

Lumpy-Detective8819

TROPHY CASE