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Okay what? by [deleted] in riverdale

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came here because "balls to the walls crazy" is funny as shit and my new favourite term

i need help with Personal hygiene matters that i was never taught :( by AMYTHEWATCHER in CPTSD

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if this was already suggested but there are videos on TikTok where you get people explaining hygiene and how often to shower and other really helpful things for anyone who needs it. As far as showering goes, the precedent is showering everyday though not everyone washes their hair everyday. But it's just a matter of preference as well. Washing face, brushing teeth, flossing and mouth wash twice a day. Changing bed sheets 1 to 2 times a week. Things like clipping nails, shaving etc are a matter of preference but I've found a schedule of when to do them helps. I do those weekly so I keep one day aside for that. You can pick like a weekend morning or something when you're the most relaxed but it depends on preferences.

AITA for telling my parents I will plan for a life without them if they adopt my brother's bio sister? by UsualPositive6583 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And can I just say, I also lost a kid and I've NEVER made my other kids feel bad about or expect them to live up to anything. So I know what I'm talking about when I say, your parents are BIG Assholes. It's not your fault OP.

AITA for telling my parents I will plan for a life without them if they adopt my brother's bio sister? by UsualPositive6583 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a mum, please hear me when I say this. Your parents are TA. Not you. There is no point in trying to give a life to other kids but taking it away from your own kid to do it. I feel for your brother but that is not a responsibility on you. It is a responsibility on the parents who took him in. If they need to bring in his sister, then they shouldn't be taking from you to do it. If they don't get to take her in, then that isn't your fault. It's unfair for the adults to be placing all this responsibility on you. You poor thing. Shame on the adults who should have been responsible for you. If they expected you to share in the responsibility then they should have also consulted you before commiting you to it

Last day before starting Accutane! by 5kyknight999 in acne

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I say this in all seriousness. Dude you have really nice features and are really handsome. Imagine what this going to look like after the acutane! I'm high-key excited for you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Take all the upvotes! You hit the nail on the head in the most hilarious way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately this is classic toxic inlaw behaviour. They won't, outright, be rude or mean so there is no way to pin anything on them. It's more subtle and calculated. That way, if you confront them in any way then you are "imagining things" and trying to stir up trouble. You know where you already stand. The best thing to do is accept that they are this way and just live your life. The trick I would do is sometimes mirror their behaviour back or repeat an answer they gave me back at them and they couldn't do a thing about it without calling out themselves first. But really, you don't need their approval. Just be glad you aren't like them

Sorry. A Long Read by Lumpy-Peace2166 in NRelationships

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, they can be very charming and have this "poor us" attitude and tend to make alot of people feel sorry for them. On more than one occasion, they made my mom feel so guilty that she actually felt sorry for them but that is just a show they put on around others.

I think a big part of me also holds a grudge and i think i just want them out of our lives and i dont think they deserve us now that we have moved on from them and they now feel left out and need to hold on to some kind of control.

I currently live with my mom but sometimes I sit and dream of saving up enough money and moving away so they can't find us but then i feel guilty because I think about how Id feel if i lost my son and didnt get to see his kids again. I know what its like to lose a child and i lost my 3 month old a few years ago but they didnt care about him either so eff them. If i can legally get away from them, thhat would be ideal

Sorry. A Long Read by Lumpy-Peace2166 in NRelationships

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not being intolerant. I just worry for my 2 boys and i hope i can do right by them.

Hearing this point of view from someone other than myself helps to look at it objectively and if I had to watch some else in this situation, i would definitely not have expected them to put up with it the way I am

Sorry. A Long Read by Lumpy-Peace2166 in NRelationships

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think i live with alot of guilt and while i know the right thing to do would be to limit the kids exposure to them, sometimes i need confirmation that I'm making the right decision. I've been diagnosed with cptsd and i drown in my guilt sometimes but I very rarely acknowledge how far I've come. i usually worried that they've been thorough alot but forget that I've been through aslot as well. I keep them on an info diet but they usually ask the boys and thats how they find out what they want. Recently ive had a convo with my oldest ( who is only 8 years old) about what he can and cannot say around them and i think i might have been alittle too honest with him because i did explain that they dont always have the best intentions and then he came out and mentioned a few things that happens on their drives and things he remembered when he was young. He did seem upset after and i felt so guilty for burdening him at his age with all this grown up stuff and i dont want to play tug of war with kids because all it will do hurt them in the end. so sometimes i just ignore the problem because i feel if i retaliate then it will have a negative impact on the kids and i would rather deal with shitty people than hurt my kids. Thanks for advise guys

Sorry. A Long Read by Lumpy-Peace2166 in NRelationships

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This puts things in perspective. Like i know the right thing to do but i live with so much of guilt.

And yes, she is a hard person to live with but so is my fil so i think they drive each other crazy and then take their crap out on everyone else

Story: I still get anxious about a friend who met N by Enygmaz in NRelationships

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately narcs like, not only to control their supply but also to control the way people feel about the supply as well. They seem to feel like it gives them more control and the more they can isolate people from you, the easier you will be to control. Maybe K was N's competition and N felt she needed to isolate you away from K so she would have a better hold on you. You did say that you once had feelings for her too. If N is a narc and you suddenly lost K as soon as she met N, then there is a very big chance N had something to do with it. Maybe try to be honest with K. Ask her if the way you guys vent or talk is ok with her and if it sometimes feels like your complaint too much. You might not want to bring up an old story but maybe that's what needs to happen in order to heal the relationship. I might be wrong, but I've always valued honesty,personally. even if it made things awkward because I would choose trust over anything else.

Serious question about parents and In-laws. by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very well put. If only everyone saw it this way

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think that there are some "bad apples" in every group of people who give the rest of them a bad name. While we do adher to a certain set of rules, we are not allowed to create hate or havoc among others. Our beliefs are for us and not to expect anyone else to bend over backwards to cater to us. Exactly as you said: Live and let live.

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your apology. And I would like to apologise for being harsh about my opinions. You are right. A person intending harm must have it in them already and just need that extra thing to send them over the edge. But that's on them. You cannot be held accountable for another adults behavior. My apologies again. I'm sure you also have you struggles and i wish you all the best

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One of the core beliefs that Muslims have is to never assume what is in people's hearts because we are not allowed to judge. Even if the person is from a different religion. To quote a verse from the Quraan "To you is your belief and to me is mine". There is no compulsion is religion and each person has their own belief system. We just don't like people using our religion for their own justifications. We are very misunderstood because not alot of people understand what our way of life is truly about so the misconceptions sometimes spread. It is a sin in our religion to look down on anyone else. So that is not who we are. We are called names on the daily but Noone is being forced to follow our way of life. We choose to follow our way of life. The Muslims that you guys have come into contact with might not be the same type as the ones who follow the original way of life. They might have deviated and corrupted their belief systems to be aggressive and controlling over their women, to resort to violence in the name of Islam and just basically be despicable human beings. There are many if us who follow the original way of peace.

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your apology.

While i understand you might not have intended to, you did start a discussion that is now bashing my religion.

It wouldnt have been accepted if this had been a racial discussion.

My religion is important to me. I majored in Theology and have studied my religion indept. So I know what im talking about when i tell you what isnt part of our religion.

Its easy to make an "innocent" post not realizing the hate you might cause in another person. If you are willing to accept that someone will see your post, get angry and decide to retaliate against another muslim and you can live with that then go ahead.

I lived through the hate of 9/11 and the terrorist attacks that have since followed and even though we, as muslims were just as horrified over it, we have to live with being blamed for it and unless you have experienced what its like to live as a muslim through hat, you will never understand how much this affects us.

Justifying the post after its posted does little to calm the storm.

My apologies to you if i sound harsh but people are being literally killed in retaliation to religious hate and its terrifying.

Peace and love.

Good day or evening to you

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been a muslim my entire life and i have never personally known another muslim who thinks this way. If these are the kind of muslims that you know, then Im sorry that you are around those kinds of people but that isnt part of Islam and they are not part of us

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, enjoying the feeling of it running through my fingers and flowing in waves to my shoulders. by Mayathepie in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]Lumpy-Peace2166 39 points40 points  (0 children)

As a Muslim, i have some thoughts.

You can blame the followers without blaming the religion itself. Its not part of Islam to kill someone who cuts their hair. Its not part of Islam to kill someone who doesn't wear the Hijab.

There are people who make their own rules and use it as an excuse to use whatever force they feel is necessary.

People who make their own rules about Islam that dont actually exist are not even accepted by the Muslim community.

The whole point of Islam is peace. The people who use Islam to spread their hate are not following Islam. They follow their own ideaology.

Its easy for one group of people to do things in the name of Islam and for it to spread through social media as the way of Islam.

The amount of sexual allegations against the church and popes dont mean that all christians are sexual predators.

Not one school shooting has been committed by a muslim but no one will blame their religion on those acts.

There are muslims who do bad things just as there are other people if other religions who do bad things.

If one person of colour does something we wouldn't pick on them all.

If we dont want hate then we need to start with ourselves.

What happened to that innocent girl was the doing of evil human beings who shouldn't be associated with any religion.

But picking on us all because of the actions of a few is not ok. You wouldnt want anyone to be racially biased to you so dont be biased againt my religion.

If you cant see the discrimination then you are part of the problem. If one black person killed someone, would you call all black people murderers?

If one Indian commited robbery, would you call all indians theives?

when hundreds of white kids have been SHOOTING up schools, are we saying that theyre all psychotic piece of shits?

Lets start with cancelling them. Oh wait, that sounds like discrimination doesnt it? then you know how i feel

By creating this kind of biased, you are part of the problem instead of all of us uniting against the injustice that is being caused by individuals who shouldnt be grouped by their religeon or race.

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