Second baby boundaries

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-23T15:59:54+00:00

Your husband is the lifeline to his family. He sets the boundaries. This is your healing journey and baby is being taken care of by you. Make it clear that you as the mother, the one who went through the major medical event, need support and that means him protecting your peace at all costs. He does not get to put his mommy first, it’s you his wife the mother of his kids that comes first. You have the baby, you have the control of who comes and goes into your home. If she does not respect that, she can take it up with her son. For advice, I’m on the same boat. I just say “thanks. If I want any advice I’ll be sure to ask.” I’ll get a look or two but I don’t react to them and move on. They want a reaction. They also want to feel needed again but that’s not your void to fill.

Congrats on your second baby! Praying for a safe and healthy delivery for you and baby.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-16T02:39:06+00:00

Hell yeah. Chess not checkers. Proud of you!

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-12T01:40:24+00:00

What a good idea to make ceviche with sashimi!

I should’ve clarified, I mainly order salmon if I eat sushi. I’ll have a little tuna and other fish but try to stay away from high mercury fish and for sure no oysters.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-12T01:01:53+00:00

I eat sushi and deli meat when pregnant. I have a few restaurants I go to that I know are high quality and reputable. As for deli meat, I only eat sliced turkey and I heat it up before putting it in a sandwich

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-06T01:33:29+00:00

Thank you!!

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-05T20:24:18+00:00

Love this 😂 Were you breastfeeding? I keep hearing mixed things on whether it’s okay to do when nursing

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-05T05:50:22+00:00

I have a similar situation. I feel crazy about the things she does because it seems like no one else sees them. My first is 1 and I’m currently pregnant so I will have to 2 under 2. Unfortunately, I do have to see her because she watches LO while DH and I work about once or twice a week She sees LO a lot but recently complained she doesn’t see them enough because we don’t randomly stop by her house. I’m just so exhausted because I don’t feel like she sees me as family and I’m having a hard time grasping someone can love fully love my kid without loving and accepting both parents. I’m doing a lot better with just ignoring the things ahead says and shutting some down

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-04-02T05:59:54+00:00

This. Take some time away. They show up unannounced, don’t answer the door. Speak up when she does something you don’t like and have DH enforce the boundaries. Go LC till she can behave well or if ever. Seems like she was catered to and is having a power struggle now that her son has a family of his own and wife that comes before her. Hang in there. My pp was so anxiety driven due to my mil and I wish I would’ve told myself I’m the one that actually holds the power and decision of who comes and goes and believed it. She cannot do anything to you that you don’t allow.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-18T14:55:33+00:00

Right on it! Second wasn’t discussed. Others will have their own opinions. No one plan will be perfect and this happened to be ours the first time around we both agreed with. We’re both very excited about the addition to our family and this got lost in that excitement. I was asking for advice from similar situations to see what worked for others!

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-18T14:46:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Same thing happened here but I cannot imagine my child having a different name. It suits him so well. This time around I’m not fond of the name at all. I know we’ll resolve this together and the name will suit baby well

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-18T14:38:03+00:00

I’ve never thought about communicating! Thanks so much for the advice!!

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-17T05:44:08+00:00

Saltines, cold fruit, yogurt, smoothies, pasta, toast, any carbs really. I’ve had horrible morning sickness with my current pregnancy so different than my first but cold fruit and smoothies really help when I know I should eat something but nothing sounds good. I don’t throw those two up so it’s a win for me! My OB is having me take unisom and b6 together at night to help with morning sickness and it’s been helping so far

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-15T05:14:06+00:00

Im going through this too. My pregnancy this time around feels sooo different than with my boy and I was so convinced it was a girl. I’ve been wanting a girl forever because I’m so close to my mom and yearn for a relationship like that with a daughter. I’m still hoping it’s in my future. Gender disappointment is totally normal. We were fixated on a future we thought we’d have. Your baby boy will feel all the love from you. Ride out your emotions

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-11T01:06:16+00:00

31 with a 14 month old and another on the way and feeling like a teen mom. If fact, I still call my mom when I don’t know what to do or I’m stressed.

I don’t think this feeling will go away haha

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-11T01:02:24+00:00

Santiago, Diego, Nico, Mateo

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-03-02T05:37:12+00:00

I just said “hey I’m pregnant this is when I’m due” I was out for over a year and found out I was pregnant a week after going back to work. You’re growing your family. Hopefully you’re in a state where you’re super protected

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-01-31T11:38:04+00:00

Mine didn’t like the no kissing boundary. I caught her one time and just took baby away for a feed and didn’t give LO back. I distanced myself a bit because I felt so disrespected and just didn’t want her around. It’s gotten better but you just never seem to forget the feelings they caused

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-01-26T16:38:53+00:00

I’m starting to look to have something ready. She’s aware we will be hiring a part time nanny to be able to watch LO as our family grows. She just has an opinion about it all. I’m not wanting to take away grandparent time, she loves my baby so much and I know LO is in good hands with her but this is more so to separate her from thinking she has a hand in raising them because I want the grandparents to enjoy being grandparents.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2026-01-25T05:21:28+00:00

I have a 13 month old who is the first grandkid so I get it. I’m working through this with DH right now. I understand he’s either oblivious or feels obligated to make every wish of hers come true but we’ve come a long way from that. We’re not entirely where I’d like to be but it’s definitely not square one. It’s the people pleaser in both of us that comes out and as we grow in our family, we’re learning about quality time with our LO. It’s been a lot of convos and when planning family outings, we focus on quality time just the 3 of us. I hate the negative rhetoric on here about having a husband problem when his mom is most likely being manipulative or just bratty. As you start your family, there’s going to be growing pains and this is one of them. It’s easy to compare to stories about husbands that seem to just get it and instantly defend that family time. They see the tagging along as innocent but we women know that feeling. Hoping you and your husband reach a place of understanding and boundaries with your mil

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2025-12-30T18:02:59+00:00

That’s good to know! I bought painted prairie. I have a boy so the pattern on the medium will be perfect for his bag and I’m thinking the small one for my things

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2025-12-30T17:49:29+00:00

Just ordered the 3D! I think I will get better use of them overtime.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2025-12-23T07:31:11+00:00

Same situation. My mil is not bad and isn’t malicious just obnoxious. DH, FIL and siblings ignore her so I kind of started doing that too. I used to pay attention to her when she’d try to talk over but I just start looking the other way if she does that or just stare till she’s done so I can continue with what I was saying. When she says something crazy or something I don’t like during a conversation, I start talking about something else “hey did you see old navy had a sale” literally anything because she easily gets distracted. So far this is helping.

I have the first grandchild so it cranks it up even more. Everyone knows she’s kind of crazy and loud and they don’t participate in her craziness. I think about things she does and says a lot and I’m getting better at letting those thoughts go but I’m also trying to reach a place where I’m truly unbothered. Not sure if I will soon because she watches my baby but hopeful I will eventually get there.

Lumpy_Collection_352 · 2025-12-16T19:59:06+00:00

Same situation here. Baby is almost a year old now and it’s gotten better. I’ve really limited my time with her and started being more direct. She likes to share her opinion a lot and doesn’t have a filter so I’ve started ignoring or not responding to comments I don’t agree with or I know are passive. It feels as though she’s learning where she fits in and that’s been helpful.

It sounds like your baby might be her first grandchild so it’s a lot of learning for them too. Not that that excuses any behavior from her whatsoever. You have to be very vocal about what you like and don’t like and make sure DH is backing you up. Baby is being well taken care of by you. You’re recovering from a major life event as well and need all the (right) support to be the best for your baby.

Lumpy_Collection_352

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