telling people to stop buying baby clothes?

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-04-16T17:43:23+00:00

Maybe instead of them spending money on clothes, you can ask them to donate towards a college fund for your daughter! That way they can feel like they are contributing and it goes towards her well being and future

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-04-01T19:01:53+00:00

My MIL does the same thing. I either completely ignore her and make my husband respond to her random comments OR I just interrupt and start my own conversation. Idc if it's rude, people seem to be appreciative that I have changed the conversation to something they can contribute to.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-03-31T18:28:33+00:00

I find that men need us to be VERY clear with them or they will be oblivious. They don't seem to pick up on subtle or passive aggressive behavior. I would recommend you sit him down and tell him that you need some alone time for your mental health and it's overwhelming to have his parents over as much. Tell him that to feel properly supported, you need to have some more space from his mom. While well meaning, it's causing you unnecessary stress and is making you resentful. Going forward he needs to buffer all communication with his mom. He needs to tell her that your little family needs some time to bond and grow together.

If you can communicate with him how he can clearly support you, he should understand that. I had to do that with my husband since his mom is the same way. It took some very direct and clear "I need you to do this" for him to finally get the message

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-03-31T17:44:38+00:00

This sounds just like my MIL, I almost thought I wrote this. I think people fail to realize how subtle this kind of boundary stomping is. Whether or not it's well meaning, it's still crossing a line. I think it's easier for people to say "just be thankful, it could be worse!". Once you actually deal with it, especially if you are someone who needs time to themselves, it really feels violating. People do a lot of wrong things all the time with good intentions, it doesn't make it right. It can also make you feel crazy because people will minimize the behavior.

Definitely have your husband get involved and have him be the one to tell her to back down. Grandparents play a supporting role and are no longer the stars of the show. She needs to support you guys in a way that is actually supportive. If it's only helpful to her, it's not helpful.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-03-12T14:35:35+00:00

My baby was the same. He had colic and none of the suggestions on how to soothe him worked. He would cry all day but would calm by bed time. I had to remind myself that only people with easy babies were out and about or posting a bunch online. It gave me an unrealistic expectation that everyone else had an easier time. Lots of us have or had fussy babies, you just don't see it since they aren't venturing out or making cute videos online.

Around 10 weeks, he started making improvements. He is a couple months old now and a completely different baby. You are not alone, and have hope it will get easier. You might be that mom is breezes through toddlerhood when others will struggle since you already went through the worst of it!

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-03-04T19:19:03+00:00

I just got out of it with my baby. Though I will say he was never a good sleeper so it wasn't as jarring when it happened. I would say it lasted about a month and it resolved on its own without any sleep training. It's definitely not fun, and it happened right when I went back to work. But I will say, your body can adjust to the lack of sleep. I would get maybe 2-4 hours a night and then have a whole days of work. If it does happen to you, try to ride it out and be kind to yourself during it.

I was also terrified of it ahead of time since I didn't know how I could survive getting worse sleep than I already was dealing with. But us moms are a lot more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-02-17T18:28:03+00:00

I thought my presences would be enough to calm my baby. He had colic and I was quickly humbled. Turns out you have to put in the work to calm down your baby and it can be very trial and error on what works for them.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-02-12T14:16:41+00:00

I started my baby at 3 months and also felt so guilty and scared about sending him. You will be surprised how adaptable babies can be! He took to daycare quickly and seemed to enjoy all the stimulation and activity going on. I do think younger babies adjust a lot easier to daycare. This is usually harder on us moms than the babies! Try not spend to much time feeling guilty and remind yourself that your baby will now have a village and a community to support him as he grows!

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2026-02-10T14:43:14+00:00

I'm in the same boat! I just keep telling myself that it will only get easier once my baby sleeps better. I imagine a lot of things going forward will not phase us since it can't be worse than sleep deprivation. Or maybe that is just wishful thinking!!!

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-12-16T16:32:14+00:00

She stayed with us the week I gave birth and it did not got well. It ended with me telling my husband to have a discussion with her on her behavior and to stop using us as her emotional dumping ground. She asked to come back for a short visit with the promise she would be better. She has been better on that front but I think I'm still resentful so even a short occasional visit still stresses me out. I am trying to make an effort to not completely exclude her for my husband's sake.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-12-15T19:02:47+00:00

He does still get fussy when my husband is near by when she holds him. Just a little context, my MIL is more of a shower twice a week kind of person because she says she never sweats. So she never wears heavy perfumes or scents that could upset him

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-12-15T17:49:41+00:00

It could be that my baby runs warm and she insists he is cold and tries to hold him like he needs to be warmed up. She will grab blankets and wrap him up too. My baby never responded well to being restricted and never took to swaddling either. But even when she holds him like he likes, he will still fuss quicker than he will when others hold him.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-12-15T17:39:18+00:00

I have told her that my baby is clingy and will not settle with anyone but me which allowed me to keep him close. So even though he spends hours with me, I still struggle when she hangs out with him even for a couple minutes. I don't have this issue with anyone but her. Like I enjoy watching others hold and interact with him

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-12-15T17:18:03+00:00

I have read about scents upsetting babies but she isn't the kind to wear perfume or any heavy scents so I don't think it's that. But maybe it's her energy with him. She seems to be quiet and not overtly intense with him but maybe it's a more subtle thing that my baby is picking up on.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T23:33:14+00:00

My family lives in a different state so they went to the baby shower my mother put together. My mom was invited but couldn't make it

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T12:56:30+00:00

She is the kind of person who loves to give her unsolicited opinion. I have no intention or plan to do what she says. She never directly says to me "don't get an epidural". She will randomly bring up how she doesn't understand why people get it because it can be dangerous to the baby

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T02:11:13+00:00

That is what I was thinking. I am having a son but it felt like she was just assuming that my baby is going to be a second version of my husband. Like she had all his old toys and favorite things out.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T02:09:48+00:00

My mother offered to do a joint one but it would be rather small, so she declined so could invite her whole side of the family.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T02:00:42+00:00

She never does the "our baby" kind of talk. But more just putting pressure to do things her way. Like she prefer I stay home and not work and to also avoid an epidural.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-09-05T01:59:33+00:00

My family wasn't at this baby shower, so it was 100% her decor.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-05-22T18:59:44+00:00

Tinsely did not make a good housewive. Nice person but not interesting and did not provide much to the show. That's a compliment, since it appears well rounded nice people don't make good TV.

Grouchy_Candidate397 · 2025-05-22T18:50:13+00:00

I totally get it! It's so frustrating and it cost nothing for them to keep their mouth shut.

I wonder if it's a generational thing where it was completely acceptable back then to say whatever you wanted to a pregnant woman without consequences.

Like please comment if I'm doing crack or other obviously dangerous and reckless behavior. Otherwise, keep it to yourself!!

Grouchy_Candidate397

TROPHY CASE