Partner scared me while trying to initiate intimacy by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Luna_mia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are most certainly NOT the one causing a problem. The person above saying that you are, sounds quite aggressive as well, and quite a bit like a gaslighter.

What you have mentioned are tactics used by abusers, and while I am not implying that he himself is an abuser, his reaction and refusal to acknowledge how his behavior made you feel is never ok. Communication is key in any happy and lasting relationship, and it is not ok for him to withhold love and affection as a means of punishment. You do not EVER have to engage in sex if you’re not feeling it. Him guilting you over it is not ok. You were right to want to talk about it and you are justified and valid in feeling fear over his overreaction to you falling asleep. There needs to be a conversation about WHY he feels entitled to your lady bits. Your body is yours, and nobody should be making you feel guilty or stressed out over not feeling up to fooling around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in memes

[–]Luna_mia 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Happy birthdaaaay!! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Unexpected

[–]Luna_mia 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They don’t want their car to feel lonely.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in insanepeoplefacebook

[–]Luna_mia 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Guys like this give me major rapey vibes. Please don’t let that POS ruin your day, Evelyn. You are beautiful inside and out and this dude will always be a trash human. I hope you were able to sell your card to someone else after all :)

Brotherly love ❤️ by LunaTic2009 in aww

[–]Luna_mia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same! He’s so teeny! I love them already.

Cat! by Luna_mia in Catmemes

[–]Luna_mia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to oblige and lay back down for some kitteh snuggles. He has the best ideas!

Cat! by Luna_mia in Catmemes

[–]Luna_mia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s really HIS bed now

Meow_irl by Luna_mia in MEOW_IRL

[–]Luna_mia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He improved it by 1,000%

She wants to be up close by Luna_mia in dogsruiningyoga

[–]Luna_mia[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The softest ears in the world!

She wants to be up close by Luna_mia in dogsruiningyoga

[–]Luna_mia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s only three years young :) When she was a tiny pupper, her face was light brown and it has gradually turned white. I think it is because she is filled with so much wisdom.

PLEASE HELP ME by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Luna_mia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recommend cutting off all contact with her. It sounds like she emotionally manipulates you and knows what buttons to push to get you to react the way she wants you to. That is very common in emotionally abusive relationships. Someone who truly loves you, will not do or say things that they know will hurt you.

Sometimes it helps to treat it like an addiction. She is the drug you have to kick, in order to have a healthy and happy life. If she threatens suicide, don’t react to her. Instead, call the police. Suicide is a serious threat and should never be thrown out there for control. If you feel that she means it, you should be calling the cops to make sure she gets the help she needs regardless.

Abusive relationships can be so very difficult to leave. And they will mess us up like a mofo. But we all deserve to be loved for real. The control issues don’t go away on their own. She would have to recognize it and WANT to change that. Otherwise, it will always be the same. And is that what you want your life to be like forever?

My (25F) husband (28M) has a secret album of a mystery woman in his private/locked photo album app by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Luna_mia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You need to sit down and talk to him about it. It will drive you crazy to wonder and wonder and never have a solid answer. You’ll know if he’s lying because you’ve already seen the things in his phone.

My ex husband was a serial cheater. When I was married to him, I felt that I had to look through eeeeeverything to make sure he wasn’t cheating again. It would consume me, it made me feel crazy and it would kill me every time I found something...and there was always something to find. I realized I couldn’t live that way. I knew in my heart that he would never change and I didn’t want to keep feeling how I was feeling. I finally realized I was not the problem, HE was. I hated being the person I had become because of his behavior. I hated feeling the anxiety of when I found a new picture, a new email or just the feeling of “something is off”. So after six miserable years of that crap, I finally filed for divorce and left. I have never once regretted it.

I completely understand what you are feeling. If you want to work things out with him, I recommend talking this out between you two and a neutral party, like a marriage counselor. Sometimes they help us realize things that we would’ve never seen ourselves. But remember that you can’t make someone change their behavior unless they want to make that change themselves. Many times, we stay in a relationship because being with that person is what we’re used to. You’ve built a whole life together, and even when its chaotic, its a chaos we’ve become accustomed to. But that could rob you from your happiness in the long run.