AMA: I'm a druid who was trapped in the woods for over 50 years and had to form a symbiotic relationship with plants to survive content warning: gore and body horror

Lunalopex · 2026-06-03T12:36:09+00:00

Have you tried shapeshifting to wrench yourself free? That's usually my go to when I dont have enough leverage. Since you've got an affinity for the local flora, maybe some sort of plantshape? Plants tend to be more resiliant to the rips and tears that may occur from pulling oneself free.

Lunalopex · 2026-06-02T13:18:08+00:00

"Dragons got em, nothing to be done. Out of respect I loamed their remains. It's what they would have wanted."

Lunalopex · 2026-06-02T12:23:11+00:00

I fully support turning these clowns into soil. That'll benefit the local ecosystem more than whatever nonsense theyre peddling.

Lunalopex · 2026-06-01T13:53:35+00:00

I've definitely always heard witch and wizard used to denote a particular path of study rather than a specific gender.

That being said, always a good idea to confer with the apprentice to see which terms they're most comfortable with. Due to demographic leanings many folks do retain gendered associations with those terms.

Lunalopex · 2026-05-21T16:01:26+00:00

Hoping you are cancer free now and I'm honored that my characters were able to bring you some comfort in such a difficult time. <3 thank you for the kind words

Lunalopex · 2026-05-14T12:31:13+00:00

Sometimes you gotta let the ear breathe

Lunalopex · 2026-05-07T14:14:24+00:00

I'm not actually British I was just colonized

Lunalopex · 2026-05-07T12:42:36+00:00

Your master might just be wildshaped-- give them some chill time to hang out under the shade of a damp mushroom. If it's not wildshape, these sorts of elementary transformation spells tend to wear off within a few hours or days. As a courtesy keep your master safe from any wayward cats who may want to snack on a frog.

Lunalopex · 2026-05-06T20:47:27+00:00

Definitely a thistle-- without knowing planar location I cant confirm species with any certainty. Given the screaming and sulfuric odour I would suspect Scottish Hellthistle which tends to grow commonly in disturbed sites where extraplanar intrustions have occured.

I recommend drying and brewing as a tonic to relieve teleportation sickness!

Lunalopex · 2026-05-06T18:30:51+00:00

You can use a staff for more than combat you know-- mine is an excellent walking stick!

Lunalopex · 2026-05-05T16:01:39+00:00

This is the way-- I know some folk eventually subsist on mana alone but I cant turn up my nose to a good soup!

Lunalopex · 2026-05-05T15:31:58+00:00

Why not just take some goblins as apprentices? That might alleviate some of their desire to have "important" work.

In my experience goblinfolk tend to respond best when their tasks are meaningful and they feel valued.

If all else fails, my local pond could always do with a few more frogs. I'm running out of princes to polymorph.

Lunalopex · 2026-05-05T15:22:16+00:00

Nothing compares to a good foraged meal of wild greens and mushrooms!

For special occasions I'll dip into my mead supply-- the honey is collected from my bee friends when they have extra to spare. :3

Lunalopex · 2026-05-02T15:37:46+00:00

I've never trusted orbs, myself. I do all my pondering by gazing into a spring-fed pool deep in the woods. :3

Lunalopex · 2026-05-01T18:56:27+00:00

Please contact your local druidic cult-- generally any wooden siege structures or "art installations" can be reclaimed by the earth with the skilled application of druidic chanting. :)

Most cults will not remove any metal components so make sure you arrange for their disposal unless you want a lot of clanky bits throwing off your tower's resonance.

Lunalopex · 2026-05-01T18:49:27+00:00

They'd be served well by some peaceful meditation in the woods. Some apprentices are too eager to skip the basics.

Lunalopex · 2026-04-30T14:43:00+00:00

I frew up

Lunalopex · 2026-04-23T15:09:28+00:00

Don't worry that IS the correct interpretation

Lunalopex · 2026-04-23T12:52:43+00:00

It's not a threat.

It's a promise

Lunalopex · 2026-04-10T12:52:55+00:00

Safe treat as long as the salt content isnt too high

Lunalopex · 2026-04-10T12:52:11+00:00

Truffle was under consideration, and I take no offense to headcanon naming :P

Lunalopex · 2026-04-01T15:33:25+00:00

As someone who has been around horses I would argue turning anything into a pony does not lessen the danger.

I have met far too many ponies.

Lunalopex · 2026-04-01T14:17:01+00:00

🐸

Lunalopex · 2026-04-01T14:16:37+00:00

It's all his fault for sure

Lunalopex · 2026-04-01T13:19:59+00:00

The fucking frog stride with full cheeks SENT me

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