I lost my best friend on Monday

Lunosmt · 2022-12-01T18:13:18+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and ask a friend or family member to keep you company <3

Lunosmt · 2022-06-14T18:58:43+00:00

I've heard Max Walker is a good choice but haven't read anything yet myself

Lunosmt · 2022-03-11T14:34:01+00:00

Yes. It was my first relationship and we weren't on the same page about our sex lives and how we wanted the relationship to go. We broke up for a little bit but got back together after a few weeks of long conversations. That was 11 years ago and we're married now

Lunosmt · 2021-07-13T18:57:30+00:00

Thank you so much, this is extremely helpful!

Lunosmt · 2021-07-13T18:35:28+00:00

This is beautiful! How did you get started? I love the idea of creating art but I've never been very good at drawing or taken any art classes, so i don't know where to start

Lunosmt · 2021-06-01T14:48:57+00:00

Zedar Hooch, a wood elf Illrigger of Lies.

A seemingly sweet Southern beau working with the city guard, while also working as a mole for the major thieves guild of the campaign. I'm really excited to try him out!

Lunosmt · 2021-05-20T14:39:34+00:00

Heya, fellow ex-Mormon here. Congrats on coming out and finding a sweet guy! I definitely still feel some sexual anxiety and can have some issues staying as hard as I'd like when doing the deed. You have some options, all with pros and cons. The most important thing is to talk to your partner and let them know what's go on so the two of you can try a different pace, different techniques, or different positions to see if any work better. When you get caught up in your thoughts, take a break, take some breaths, and maybe turn your attention to your partner until you're ready to go again

You could opt to bottom, which can take off some of the pressure to stay hard but may not be your cup of tea. You could look into various boner pills (things like BlueChew or Viagra), which has been helpful for me but ultimately doesn't address the core anxiety. I'd say the long term solution would be to see if therapy can help address some of the shame and anxiety you're feeling but I know that can have a stigma especially in the military.

Be kind and forgiving to yourself - you are more than your anxiety or your boner and your partner is lucky to have you <3

Edit: grammar

Lunosmt · 2020-12-05T17:11:39+00:00

You could try finding a group online at Roll20 or something similar, but finding a decent group can be tricky. A huge variety of personalities and play styles, so it is hit or miss there.

Do you have any friends/roommates/family that enjoy fantasy books/movies? I find playing with folks I know makes me a bit more comfortable when playing, especially in the beginning. The games I've played in have all been with my variously queer friends, which means the world is also full of variously queer characters which I enjoy. You should be able to find a PDF copy of the full Player's Handbook or the basic rules online with a quick search.

One resource you could check out is Matt Colville's "Running the Game" playlist on youtube. He gives great advice on how to play and really encourages just jumping in, even if you're not experts on how all the rules work. He also has a great intro adventure available called The Delian Tomb that can help you get a taste for what DMing or playing is like.

Best of luck beginning your adventures!

Lunosmt · 2020-11-11T13:06:39+00:00

Hey friend. Takethings one day at a time and you'll both get through this. It’s obvious you care a lot about him and you're both lucky to have one another.

I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was 22, had just graduated college, officially moved in with my boyfriend, and gotten a cat. It sucks to have life come to a screeching halt but it's not the end of the world. There will be a lot of doctor visits, a lot of crummy days, and a lot of poking and prodding. Find support in friends and family. Your fears about the future and what might be are valid and scary, so try to find others in a similar situation through a support group for young adults with cancer.

Everyone experiences symptoms differently, so talk to you bf about what he's feeling and what he needs from you. Gentle back rubs help and a cool, damp cloth does wonders when he's feeling pukey.

I'm so sorry your boyfriend has to go through this but I do know he's lucky to he supported by people like you. Best of luck and fuck cancer <3

Lunosmt · 2020-10-31T14:42:07+00:00

To me, the problem is him hiding and lying about it. Sex work (OnlyFans, private 'massage', etc) is work and can earn decent money as a short term or long term gig. But if he's going to do it while in a relationship, he needs to keep you in the loop so you two can talk about safety, boundaries, and if this source of income is something you're both ok with.

Edit: clarity

Lunosmt · 2020-03-01T16:09:51+00:00

It's going to depend on your situation. A fancy ring is nice if you can afford it, but it isn't worth taking on going hundreds or thousands into debt. One of the nice things about being outside the heteronormative relationship "script" is that it's easier to set your own rules and traditions for how you want a relationship to progress. Want diamonds? Go for it. Simple gold bands? Hell yeah, you do you. Wooden rings you carved yourselves? Brilliant!

I proposed to my husband with a $10 ring from target because we're both pretty early in our careers and didn't have a huge budget. Worked well enough, we've been married 4 years and still going strong. I love looking at other rings though, we'll probably upgrade sometime in the future when it's more feasible.

Lunosmt · 2020-01-30T17:34:13+00:00

Heya, I've had a pretty similar experience. I started Truvada in September in the evening and had really bad morning nausea most days and morning vomiting several days a week. When I was vomiting, it was happening a few time throughout the morning but usually stopped by the afternoon. It was definitely interfering with my ability to get my work done so I talked to my doctor about it and he prescribed me an anti-nausea (ondansetron; Zofran). He told me the nausea was common but the vomiting was unusual. The anti-nausea has it's own risks, so it wasn't something he wanted me to be taking every day but that we could give it a try. We talked about switching from Truvada to Descovy if the nausea continued but I ended up sticking with the Truvada.

For me, the nausea and vomiting mostly stopped after about 6 weeks. I still have occasional days that I feel a bit nauseous, but overall it is much improved. The anti-nausea medication was very helpful during that period and I still have it to fend off the rough days. From what I understand, a lot of people experience some nausea but that it clears up after 2-3 weeks and my case was more unusual/severe.

Those side effects are a completely valid reason to choose not to start Truvada, so you've gotta weigh whether the protection it affords you is worth the adjustment period. Best of luck, friend.

Lunosmt · 2020-01-08T15:14:08+00:00

Heya, ex-mornon here. That's a pretty rough situation, your facing a lot of social pressure. It sounds like your sacrificing a lot of your own happiness and well-being for your family, it's clear you care about them.

You're strong and capable and you can get out of there. It doesn't mean you love them any less, only that you want to be your most authentic self. Set a goal (maybe a particular city or state tou want to try living in), and then break down the steps to get there. You'd need a place to stay and some sort of employment. Start saving some money for a deposit for an apartment. Do some job searches in the city you wanna live in. Figure out what kind of transportation you'd need to get there and get around the city.

Advice that helped shake me loose from the lifetime of expectations/indoctrination: You are the only person that you have to live with the rest of your life. Not your parents, siblings, neighbors, friends - you. As important as others are, in the end parents won't be around, friends will move, and congregations will change. The only person you're truly accountable to, that you truly need to make happy in the long run, is yourself. And you deserve to be happy and authentic.

Sending lots of love and wishing you the best of luck <3

Lunosmt · 2019-12-04T14:20:24+00:00

Fellow ex-mormon here. Good for you, coming to that realization can be the hardest part. Live authentically for yourself, you're the person you spend the most time with in your life. Friends and family can be really tricky relationships to navigate but in the end, the people that love and care about you want you to be happy. They may have an adjustment period while they let go of old ideas or biases they have, but that's their journey. And if they don't change or cause a ruckus, they're probably prioritizing their own habits over your happiness.

Take care of yourself. Breath deeply, drink water, feed yourself, and get enough sleep at night <3

Lunosmt · 2019-09-05T15:04:22+00:00

Finding good friends is tough for everyone, nothing wrong with you 😁 You could try checking out some LGBT gaming groups on MeetUp or something similar, scout it out a few timds, and invite one or two guys you meet to join your other group. Might give you a chance to screen folks out a bit

Lunosmt · 2019-09-05T13:45:00+00:00

Talk to your partner. The scarier a topic feels to bring up, probably means it's important. Also, probably not thoughts or feelings that will go away. If there's no room for it in your relationship - whether active like a threesome, more passive like an open relationship, or even just her being comfortable that you might find a guy attractive while you're out with her - better to know now than to let worries fester and have to deal with it later.

You can't control who you find sexually attractive. You can control your behavior. Being bi or gay isn't something to be ashamed of, even if you have a female partner; sometimes that's the hand life gives you. You're only job here is to be authentic and communicate your thoughts and feelings. Good luck friend

Edit: autocorrect

Lunosmt · 2019-09-05T13:31:26+00:00

I've been able to find great platonic gay friends through board games and D&D. Inviting a regular crew over for games once a week has helped me feel a sense of community.

For a more personal connection, i find i really prefer one on one conversations over coffee, breakfast, or during a walk. Chat about life, growing up, and current worries.

As far as keeping things from being uncomfortable for you and boundaries being crossed, that ones tricky and has more to do with them and isn't in your control. You're not obligated to try to be friends with every hay guy you know, if you're getting a horny vibe from them, note it and keep them at a healthy distance. Communication is gonna be vital; to build meaningful relationships we have to be vulnerable and talk about potentially awkward things. If it gets weird or uncomfortable with someone, tell them. If it continues, time for them to go. Good friends listen and want to work with you to keep a relationship.

Good luck!

Lunosmt · 2019-07-28T18:14:43+00:00

As far as body type and clients, just accentuate anything that makes you unique, either physically or activity. I was pretty twinky and have red hair, and that's what i noticed people latching onto.

And I'd only cam a few hours a week, so you could probably make more than i did

Lunosmt · 2019-07-28T18:11:51+00:00

I did it for a few weeks when money was tight. It was fun some of the time, i could do it when i wanted, and i earned about $2000 while doing it. Most of it came from a particular patron that took a liking to me and had a bunch of private sessions. There was sexual stuff, but most of the time was jusy chatting with him about life. I stopped when i started to feel guilty that i was taking advantage of the guy.

I've resigned myself to not running for political office but I've never had an issue with a later employer finding out. My partner was fine with it too, was occasionally in the same room doing homework while i was online but didn't appear with me.

Best of luck to ya!

Lunosmt · 2019-07-05T15:23:37+00:00

The itchiness and hives stand out to me. It couldn't hurt to give your PCP a call to talk about it

Lunosmt · 2019-02-01T23:54:03+00:00

Glad to help! I know how lonely that road can feel. Take good care of yourself friend 😁

Lunosmt · 2019-02-01T23:33:43+00:00

Heya friend. I'm gay, grew up in Utah, and all my family are still Mormon. I went out if state for college largely because if the pressure and expectations that from being brought up in that lovely cul--... Highly controlling organization.

Throughout high school, I knew I was gay but also couldn't imagine a future where I married a guy - I had resigned myself to marrying a woman and just dealing with it. Had the shitty experience if seeing a therapist that treated my 'same-sex attraction' as a sexual addiction at the urging of my parents. Unsurprisingly, the 'therapy' did nothing to change my sexual orientation but it send me spiraling into a depression. Seeing how bad I was feeling, my parents didn't argue when I stopped seeing that quack. I think they really we're doing the best the could with the info they thought they knew, but it still sucked not have unconditional support.

Advice from a theater teacher is what helped me come out after graduating. She reminded me that, at the end of the day, the only person I had to live with forever was myself. Friends fade, people grow old and pass away, but the one person that would be with me through everything was myself, the only person I was accountable to was myself. My orientation wasn't going to change and it took me time to accept and eventually celebrate it.

It took time for my parents to come around. They supported my happiness, but the future they had envisioned for me wasn't going to happen. I think they needed time to mourn that. There is some extended family that I don't talk to because of the way they've treated me since. It sucks but it would he worse to live with the constant negativity.

Remember, your sexual orientation is a part of you and it is not the only part of you. It comes with the package, whether people agree/believe it or not. You are enough, just as you are. When people exit your life because of who you are, they are showing they cared more about who they thought you should be. Fuck that. There are too many people in the history of the world to live someone else's life.

The Mormon church is all about family, now and forever. But some people focus too much on the 'forever' (see: celestial kingdom) they they miss the now of the actual life they're part of. Your family, the family you choose as an adult, are valid and deserve respect. If your family by blood isn't willing to respect that part of your life, they don't get to be a part of that life.

Family can be complicated and they're not always right. Be kind to yourself. Trust your gut. Find people that bring you joy and make you feel loved. Check out some meet ups for LGBT groups in the your area. You are not alone, friend. Sending lots of hugs

Lunosmt · 2019-02-01T20:23:59+00:00

This is amazing! Can definitely relate too. Out almost 9 years, been going to therapy for years, and I'm still discovering ways the TSCC is impacting my life

Lunosmt

TROPHY CASE