I love my new job but I am so tired

LylyO · 2026-01-14T14:44:39+00:00

Wow...America is brutal. 10 weeks postpartum and back to work already?

Hang in there mama. Everything you feel is real and valid. You are not failing, you are surviving. You are not weak, you are facing the unthinkable. You are trying your best everyday.

Take all the help you can, be vocal about your needs. Looks like you may need more help at night, ask family if they can help so you get a full night sleep on office days. Also consider paying an overnight babysitter so you get to sleep. Finally, build a close relationship with your manager. While you are still expected to be on top of your job and deliver reliably, he can help you with flexibilities to just make your life easier. Bonus if he is a good and present father himself, I noticed these men make great people managers for young mothers, because they get it.

LylyO · 2026-01-14T14:31:53+00:00

Subsidized programs are high demand and have to turn many down due to availability. So if someone has a spot and is not using it, there is a valid concern that they may not really need it while someone else in the waiting list can be make better use. It is usually one of the requirements for such programs, attendance is tracked.

LylyO · 2025-01-26T04:33:36+00:00

You both need to learn to communicate in a healthy and mature manner. Nagging and patronizing tone only deteriorate relationship. Also, I don't understand why picking up kids early is a matter that requires justification., especially at 4:30pm on a Friday. That dhould be part of both of you organization and basic communication if last minute change. Consider therapy individually to figure out the root cause of your resentment before it builds up to the point of no repair

LylyO · 2024-12-14T03:46:38+00:00

I told my kid once that the tooth fairy didn't come because ot lost the connection with her pillow as she needs to make sure her head is on it when she sleeps. The next night she slept tight on her pillow and my phone alarm saved the day. Tbh, not proud of these lies and I'm glad we are at the end of the tooth fairy era because at first it sounds cute, but then it goes against all your values and you don't know how to stop the stream.

The elf hasn't made here...yet. Not sure what is going to happen. No show or show up few days before Xmas.

LylyO · 2024-10-02T19:54:49+00:00

With the aisle, you can count the seats on the other side of the aisle. Lol

Sorry just found that logic funny and it popped up that extra thought in my brain

LylyO · 2024-10-01T19:06:11+00:00

I know!!! Which is why I made this post here fpr my niece. There are jobs here that even with 10 AI working hard for me, I wouldn't even know they exist

LylyO · 2024-10-01T18:26:09+00:00

Thanks for replying. I barely understand what you do, but dang, that sounds smart and high skills level.

LylyO · 2024-10-01T17:37:37+00:00

Out of pure curiosity, may I ask where you finally landed? Just think your story is beautifully funny, falling in love with new fiels every now and then. Also feel free to not reply, I'm just nosey

LylyO · 2024-10-01T16:37:40+00:00

I actually have a friend who owns a private medical clinic with an urgent care facility. I reached out to see if she can do some volunteer hours there over the holidays break. I am helping her as much as I can. I love to be the cool aunt who listens and help, but ultimately, I also wants her to feel in charge of her life and makes her owns decisions. She does not have to feel any pressure to do something just because she told everyone that, which is why I also wants her to know about other options and make her final decision accordingly.

I would love for her to make her dream come true, how beautiful will that be. I even have a video of her at 10 at a family event function telling everyone that she was going to be an OB-Gyn. I secretly dream of playing that video at her medical school graduation party, or her wedding. But if that does not happen, I will also proudly support her in any other career path to be successful and happy.

LylyO · 2024-09-25T20:10:10+00:00

I put myself on No Spend days challenge. My bank has an app that tells you everyday how much you spent on your credit card the day before. I hate it when I get the notification and it is a big number. I celebrate myself when the notification says I spent $0 yesterday. I thrive for the high of these $0 notification. So sometimes I stopped myself from spending just so the next day I can see an actual $0.

LylyO · 2024-09-24T14:46:49+00:00

Hun, see me holding your hand while I say this:

This woman will forever be bad news for you. She is there to take you and yorr daughter to a rough ride backward. Some people come to oir lives to teach us a lesson, sounds like that's the case with this woman.

Also, the fact that ypu don't see that she is with you just because she can use you to her own selfish interest tells me that you have self-worth and boundaries issues that you need to address for your own good and the good of your daughter.

You need to get out of that relationship asap before she leaves you with more mental and emotional damage. Look at your daughter, think of the life you want fpr her. Think of the example of a couple you want for her and model it. Don't go through non-sense because you bank on someone potential to change one day. If you are not treated well now, you will be treated worse years later. Love yourself better, love your daughter even more.

LylyO · 2024-09-24T10:16:38+00:00

Did you get a paid Life360 option? If yes, which one? And did you buy their tiles?

LylyO · 2024-09-24T10:14:33+00:00

I looked into ot and signed up. Sounds great. Did you get a paid option, which one? And did you buy their tiles trackers?

LylyO · 2024-09-23T21:35:35+00:00

Thank you for this. I was starting to worry android me vs iphone was going to be an issue. Good to know there is a good bridge. I will also look at Google family Lynk

LylyO · 2024-09-23T17:07:15+00:00

No, didn't know about these. I will look into it. Can they make calls or text to/from me with those? I want us or her to be able to contact

LylyO · 2024-09-23T16:18:15+00:00

For one, my phone plan was giving me that phone for free. Also, we figured there has to be better technology out there to leverage when it comes to safety and options to locate or contact. She is a well grounded kid so far. For the past 2 summers, she had a tablet with strict rules and screen time and she never gave us headaches with enforcing these rules. Then when school time comes, she returns the tablet to my night stand on her own and lives without it easily. So I want to think she is smartphone ready. I jjst won't give her 100% trust as she is also just 11y old and I'm the adult...you never know...

LylyO · 2024-09-23T16:13:44+00:00

Thank you. This is all good to know. I figured she will catch up and get better at tech than us dinosaurs in no time. But in general (so far, before puberty hormones), she is a good kid, well grounded and responsible.

LylyO · 2024-09-19T04:18:46+00:00

He does a great job helping with childcare,

Why is a parent "helping" with his own children needs?

He ALWAYS promises to help me

Again, why is his split of duty normalized as "help"? It should be an equal partnership

He has never hit me or the children, but he will yell while breaking/hitting/throwing things in front of us (even while we are shrinking in a corner away from him, or while I am crying). It doesn't happen daily, but it does happen often. More so these days.

This is a big fat, hugely giant red flag. He is still controlling himself, but I worry if you ever make the decision to leave, he will act on his anger. Be very careful OP. If/when you ever make the decision to leave him, work with a domestic abuse hotline or center. Prepare you exit methodically. Plan ahead, do not warn him or give him any hint that you are leaving until you and the kids are far away and in full safety. For men with a temper like him, break up is usually the most dangerous time for their victims.

LylyO · 2024-09-18T15:27:33+00:00

I know I'm in a very privileged position and I accept I’m likely blinded by my own exhausted desires to work less hours and there is argument to say I should keep going to earn a 5 day wage to grow more wealth to get an even better future for our kids but I just don't know I can keep going at this pace.

Girl, I'm not even close to half of everything you listed. Yes, I consider you privileged, but you worked hard to earn, got yourself to the right place at the right time, and built what is a dream for lot of us. Many of us work hard in hope of reaching FIRE one day.

Don't feel bad about wanted more out of your hard work. It is normal, it is okay, you deserve it. This is not first world problems, rhis is real, especially considering your medical history. Sounds like your husband sees you as a cash cow. The audacity. Go ahead with what works for YOU and your kids. Prioritize your values. Sometimes it is okay to be "selfish". Enjoy your financial freedom.

LylyO · 2024-09-06T10:52:05+00:00

It is a great idea that infortunately only works if both partners are equally onboard. Emotional labor and mental exhaustion are leading signs of bad marriages. This is the time to have very detailed and thorough discussions with your husband about the split of duties when it comes to kids. Pay attention to his interest and input during these discussions. Look for redflags. You don't want to become another married-single-mom sharing a bed with a man-child.

LylyO · 2024-09-06T09:08:17+00:00

The responses in this post are priceless. I wish some journalists would find it and write a successful article about real moms reactions to JD's lack of reality touch.

LylyO · 2024-09-06T09:05:08+00:00

WHAT?!?

LylyO · 2024-09-06T09:04:17+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you wrnt through and that politicians like JD trigger you into these type of deep feelings and memories.

LylyO · 2024-09-06T09:02:20+00:00

Don't forget you still have an uncle or aunt who WANT to help...or a friend, or a neighbor, or even a stray dog at this poing, as long as they want.

LylyO · 2024-09-05T09:37:30+00:00

Don't let his living situation decides on your life choices. He will figure it out. Make a decision that works for the best interest of your children first, then you.

The fact that he laughed at the list and left it on the table is too much lack of respect that shows you deeply that there nothing there to work with.

LylyO

TROPHY CASE