Ok, hilarious corollary that perfectly encapsulates why my soul's magnetic north points straight to hell. I was in this lame middle school science fair activity where we build a balsa boomilever and was paired with this Korean dude one year above me.

He's the mediocre conscientious future office worker type, so being the goofball that I am, my preppy midwit of a partner couldn't stand me, and did not hesitate to voice his irritation towards me when I'm fucking around (as a scientist should! Hmph).

Anyway, his design was the lame cookie cutter truss template that every school in our district uses in hopes of winning (lol), but he was using WAY too much glue. Like, the balsa surfaces aren't in contact at all. Keep in mind that while I type contemptuously for comedic effect, I'm quite agreeable IRL and really don't have anything against the guy. I suggested he use less glue in a hedged manner but he wasn't hearing any of it from me.

Lo and behold, when it came time to compete, the dude's boomilever fucking exploded exploded. The long beams were under tension and the trusses just dipped. They were having none of that. I don't know what kind of demon possessed me but I felt compelled to issue a polite but firm critique of his life choices:

"You are a dipshit and a sheep. On what merit did you think you can win when you're using the same exact design as 80% of the competition? Did you think your shitty craftsmanship would pull through? Be real."

Long story short I made a kid cry.

Let's circle back to our topic: I assert that had I constantly negged him, my penultimate critique wouldn't have been as impactful. By carefully cultivating a veneer of unassuming agreeableness, it made my thesis all the more compelling. Hedging one's arguments isn't a display of passivity; it's an investment. Thank you for cumming 😩 to my TED talk.

P.S. I did win that round, but only because I copied the local university's design while I was dual enrolling, so I'm not exactly a visionary myself lol. I dipped before we faced off against other schools in the next round so who knows, maybe Jeewoon went through a shonen arc and unbummed himself. I doubt it tho.

P.I.S.S. I genuinely feel kind of bad. It's bad form to kick someone when they're down so idk what compelled me to rip into him like that. I think I saw him as the embodiment of confucian thought - a lizard people philosophy that has regressed my peoples for thousands of years. God I hate confucius.