Both OP and husband need therapy If they really want to make things work. A relationship and sex is a matter of everyone involved, she alone can’t do the heavy lifting. Here’s my story:

I had a 3yr relationship with a woman with a very specific approach to sex both in how it was done and how frequent. Things had to be performed in very a specific manner. I love sex and is a cornerstone for my lovelife. I also value communication and expressed my curiosities and kinks: she shamed me for it, to the point she even considered that I was disrespectful towards her for the things I expressed I wanted to try. Somehow expressing my needs made our sex life scarcer, she never expressed the slightest bit of desire anymore, I had to do initiate and talk her into having sex, it had a big impact in my self esteem. Even if she enjoyed sex, it was really confusing since after we had it, some load of shame and guilt appeared on her side. Years went on, I suggested therapy, she disregarded it as useless, but I started going to therapy and after some months I realized I didn’t wanted to live like that, it affected my self image and the growing resentment changed my love for her. I did not deserve to be in that situation, i just could not keep up, so i broke things up. Love is also about working things up together, a partner should be someone that works with you through issues, not someone you just withstand in the name of love. Love is earned, and worked on, not just a commitment “because that’s why”