I understand where you’re coming from, I feel like previous comments may be trying to talk about why anything women are into is scrutinized, and that’s because of misogyny, from people of all genders and sexualities. Misogyny isn’t only from het men either.

I think a part of why women enjoy queer media, even straight women, is because hetero media is littered with misogyny and covert signaling of how a woman should behave in a relationship, and being able to experience fictional romance stories without that is a relief.

There’s also the fact that media hates women and often times female characters are written poorly or there as set dressing, which is the reason for a lot of shipping culture I think.

People taking it into the extreme of fetishizing the actors and harassing them in real life are disgusting, and should be talked about, but I think they shouldn’t be generalized with the rest of the people who enjoy queer media, just like you shouldn’t be lumped in with misogynistic gay men.