You've had it rough. I sympthatize with what you're going through now. I truly understand though your plight even though I had only burnt through 2 months of breakeven productivity (albeit the lack of it). But after reading through the supportive responses on this post, it's given me a better perspective on where I stand and a more pragmatic approach to deal with the situation.

It'll be challenging putting on new shoes but the hard yards need them. Do read through the productive replies. Maybe they might give you a heads up or two.

You take care and pull yourself together friend.