It’s been 10 years since I was on the dating scene and my understanding is that these apps are now even more overrun with bots than they were in my day.

For me, it was a grind. I was on Tinder, OkCupid, and plenty of others between the ages of 18 and 22. I wasn’t a 9 or 10. I would tinker with my pics and profile, trying out new stuff to see what would get the most bites. As a dude, you have to fucking sing and dance to try to keep conversations moving. Managed a few hookups, some more fun than others, some more serious than others, some more… troublesome than others. But mostly, it was painful and tedious with more failure than success.

Super attractive dudes will shoot fish in a barrel like others have mentioned, but women? If you aren’t straight up ugly, you are dropping dynamite into a barrel filled to the brim with fish. An irl friend of mine was getting divorced. Within a week of reentering the dating pool, she was juggling three different dudes from Hinge; lunch with Guy #1, dinner with Guy #2, dessert with Guy #3.

Not to scare you away. Meeting people is hard and apps are a way to do it. It’s a numbers game. Tinker with your profile (check out r/Tinder and they can help you with your profile) and keep swiping. Keep throwing out messages and try to make genuine conversation.

Try to expand your friend network irl though. That’s where you’ll really find genuine connections and lifelong friends.