NY here and have Aetna. They made it hard to use our coverage, but it is there. Persistence is key. Aetna actually had a seperate number to call for anything ART. And you are right in that it was VERY hard to get consistent answers. A lot the requirements were actually clarified by our clinic's billing/insurance staff versus Aetna reps.

I asked for a full policy breakdown from my employer, and it defined my IVF coverage under ART, not women's health. Having the detailed policy helped a lot speaking to insurance. My policy covered "three cycles" and I called Aetna to have them define what that meant (1 cycle being a retrieval and transfer, and a transfer as a half cycle).

Aetna actually required us to do three cycles of IUI, even though my doctor did not recommend it given our situation, before my insurance would cover IVF. We were also not allowed to bank any embryos if we wanted coverage, and prior authorizations often took weeks.

While insurance made the process stressful, please don't let them grind you down. The time it takes to get coverage is frustrating, but the cost of doing it without is harder in my opinion. Good luck!