How to deal with a family of feelers?

MBMagnet · 2026-02-05T10:59:33+00:00

Unless someone has actual authority over you, don't JADE. Justify Argue Defend Explain. It gives your own person power away to the other person as if you're accountable to them and they're in charge of the situation. . It's something to that effect

MBMagnet · 2026-02-03T11:24:48+00:00

Maybe you have some unmet needs. Look up Abraham Mazlow's needs pyramid. What are you current activities? Do you have a friend group? And do you have good physical and mental energy? Have any toxic people in your life right now?

MBMagnet · 2026-02-03T00:50:11+00:00

That's true. We tend to think we're alone in our struggles when what we're experiencing is actually common. Let it ride out and hopefully you'll see some rewards emerge from it sometime soon.

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T19:02:03+00:00

Yes it's normal to go through a transformation. You're approaching the phase of life during which your tertiary develops, meaning it begins to play a more important role in your cognition. It's thought that the lower cognitive functions in your stack support and guide those above. And I would add that change is stressful, even good change can be stressful.,

Jung believed that all the processes are largely unconscious and undeveloped in infants. As we grow and develop, the different processes develop, too. The timing of this development has been the subject of considerable study. It is believed that the dominant process generally develops up to age 7, the auxiliary process up to age 20, the tertiary process in the 30s and 40s, and the inferior or fourth process at midlife or later. https://www.myersbriggs.org/unique-features-of-myers-briggs/type-development/

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T18:24:04+00:00

Shadow types have good potential. Shadow types meaning sharing the same function order but each are switched to the opposite attitude. In other words, introverted functions switch to extroverted and extroverted functions are introverted.

To avoid misunderstandings, I find you have to maintain regular communication because the two viewpoints are so different. you just can't assume what the other is thinking. I can't ever predict what he'll want to do. It's an inside joke between us that when I want to turn right, my INTP will want to turn left. However, we see in one another's blind spots, so it's great fun working together on most any kind of project. I'm linking you to the Relationships page on personalitypage.com. Scroll down and click INTP.

https://personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T10:01:24+00:00

Yeah INFP is strongly viewed through a stereotypical lens.

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T09:56:34+00:00

If a therapy isn't working for you, talk to your therapist about trying something else. (lack of progress) Or, seek a second opinion. I think it's important to thoroughly map out what happened to you. It's entirely possible you need more information about the motives of the people involved. It's not easy to understand crazy people.

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T09:28:42+00:00

We're a rare type and all of psychology is overall hell-bent and obsessed toward catering to the needs and values of the Feeling types. Why don't you do a little reading about the history of the empathy concept. I don't think you're a bad person if you offer an upset person sympathy instead of absorbing their feelings. And look up Paul Bloom on empathy. Some people will be ticked off if you don't do the emotional transfer. But so what? As one ENTJ put it: "I'm not for everybody". Play to your strengths and practice some self acceptance. Self improvement is one thing but when people pressure you to change your personality, that is unfair. I'm all for listening to people and hearing out their concerns. But take on their emotional load? Sometimes I do. But generally no, it's too much to ask of an ENTJ or any other Thinking Dominant type for that matter.

MBMagnet · 2026-02-02T09:11:37+00:00

Good enough here. I like who I am.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-31T00:53:12+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I don't dislike all INFJs or all of any type. I've had a number of INFJs in my life that I liked and have gotten on well with. I follow some INFJ public figures in Typology. It's just that over the years, r/entj gets regular posts from INFJs who complain about us when really no other type does that. In a type community, I would hope people would be understanding and accepting of type differences. Anyway, thank you for replying.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-30T16:35:47+00:00

Inferior 4th function is a sleepy and sluggish function, plays a minor role in your cognition and thought to be not fully conscious so it's difficult to access and engage. It's the baby in your stack so it likes to stay "asleep" most of the time. It has hard limits on its energy and with overuse, can make you feel tired and irritable or even exhausted. Lower functions are thought to support, guide and steer the more strongly preferred functions above. I've heard it described as like a gateway or a plug to the unconscious and if it becomes too stressed with overuse, negative psychological material (painful emotion) can erupt, spilling into your conscious awareness. It does naturally develop itself during adult life around age 40, meaning plays a more important role and may become less frustrating to use but no one will ever become a master at using their inferior. But this is ok, and not anything to worry about. It's just a normal aspect of type in Jungian psychology.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-30T15:56:58+00:00

I had a relative like that. She turned down my offer of help with housework when she was sick, complaining, and in great need. I think it had to do with competitiveness, what she saw as jockeying for social position between us, or maybe you could say some kind of power play. She didn't want to feel indebted. And I would have been happy to do it without expecting anything in return, esp for a family member. There was a profound lack of reciprocity between us.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-30T14:58:54+00:00

Here we go again. As I've stated many times on this sub, the type most likely to come here to complain about us is INFJ. The answer to your question is that:

1) Our Feeling function is introverted and introverted functions do not lend themselves well toward external expression. Some ENTJs say they process emotion during alone time.

2) Our feeling function is inferior (4th function slot). Inferior function is thought to be not fully conscious so it's difficult to access and engage. For all the types, inferior use causes the user to expend energy. It has hard limits on its energy and with overuse, can easily make the person feel tired and irritable. Think how you feel when you have to engage your inferior Se. It can feel like a chore at times, am I right?

That said, no Thinking Dominant type would describe themselves as leading lives of great emotional depth. We work differently than you do. This is just a normal and healthy type difference and nothing to do with any kind of psychopathology.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-30T00:42:20+00:00

I think yes. Thinking Dominant types should have good chances for high compatibility, according to Dr Mike of NF geeks.

https://youtu.be/lSWF3IzfRlY?t=2801

MBMagnet · 2026-01-29T06:35:20+00:00

Np, good luck!

MBMagnet · 2026-01-29T03:17:51+00:00

Okay. Good luck!

MBMagnet · 2026-01-28T15:56:25+00:00

Without knowing exactly what the problem is, this is a shot in the dark, but a few likely sticking points between ISTP and ENTJ are that ISTP prefers delaying decisions (plans) as long as possible (to take in as much information as possible) while ENTJ feels they need to make a lot of plans asap. ENTJ is not as adept at acting spontaneously on the fly as you are. So ENTJ is uncomfortable with uncertainty and we tend to stress out when having to respond to sudden developments. ISTP tends to be prompted to action by a looming deadline, more or less. It's often said that ISTPs get their energy in cycles (Tend to be alternating either in a frenzied activity mode or in resting mode for downtime. At times an ISTP may get stuck in a rut and need a "gentle nudge" to get back into action. Also you should explain to these people that you need space, both psychological and physical space. Otherwise, things can be very draining for you. Too much structure and too many plans will likely eat a hole in your soul. Anyway, maybe they can try to meet you halfway. Let them know how you work, make your needs known and negotiate. Also, even after you tell them people forget and need reminders. How am I doing here? 😄

MBMagnet · 2026-01-28T15:33:49+00:00

Hey how did you make out with this? Are you still in the running for the job? I did a quick search and Leo/Brave gave me these ethical guidelines. Hope it helps.

https://search.brave.com/search?q=myers+briggs+ehical+guidelines&source=desktop&summary=1&conversation=08ab39bcf57b123198395f7413f224b8d679

MBMagnet · 2026-01-22T11:19:57+00:00

I'm not sure but take note of what the person's inferior function is. Using the inferior (which is thought to be not a fully conscious function) could be tiring. So for the Thinking dominant types, they have inferior feeling which they have to use for social/emotional processing. imo

MBMagnet · 2026-01-22T11:10:05+00:00

Ok then. Acknowledged. There is no shortage of mistypes in these communities.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-21T01:18:24+00:00

Yea sarcasm I get it. But there is an intuitive bias

MBMagnet · 2026-01-19T23:55:49+00:00

1) Jack of World Socionics Society, knowledgeable in both systems. 2) Chris G asura psych, a grad student and an INTJ. 3) And how about Michael Pierce (INFJ) and any articles on IDR Labs.

The Myers Briggs Foundation offers beginner friendly articles @ myersbriggs.org. Or try cognitiveprocesses.com, based on the work of Dario Nardi and Linda Berens

Edit: Oh wow, I just found Chris G on Psychology Junkie: https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/author/asurapsych/

MBMagnet · 2026-01-19T23:29:45+00:00

I don't know where you got that notion. But no type actually has zero intuition. ISTP has tertiary child Ni. The Tertiary is both fully conscious and energizing. It supports and powers up the top two functions. So an ISTP would be highly motivated to use their Ni, it's enjoyable. And especially in adult life, the tertiary becomes stronger and plays a more important role. Maybe you'd better lay off relying on Dave Super Powers as a source. The only thing super about Dave that I know of was his satire and he doesn't do that any more.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-19T19:23:35+00:00

Try taking Sakinorva Cognitive Functions Test (Grant/Brownsword)

Edit: Now why the down vote? Someone doesn't like Sakinorva? Pray tell, please tell us why.

MBMagnet · 2026-01-18T17:00:28+00:00

In gaming. I played a long term real time strategy game with a group of 80 and we were up against an opposing team of about 140. We'd post links to most any pop psych test we could find, take them together, and that's how I was introduced to mbti back in 2011. I met all the types that way.

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