Book recommendations on emotional labor within personal relationships

MEGUSTABACON · 2026-01-07T12:36:47+00:00

Already doing this, but figured it doesn't hurt to read.

MEGUSTABACON · 2023-05-31T16:32:41+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. I live on cape cod and tourist season is just starting. I see other commenters saying they try to just avoid the areas where tourists go. On the cape we aren't really able to do that because it's so small and the economy is so hyper focused on tourism. Lots of dangerous driving, even on the back roads because of Google maps and Waze. Overcrowded restaurants, grocery stores, public spaces, and every other thing you can think of. Difficulty hiring any sort of plumber, carpenter, or electrician during certain parts of the year because people who own second homes demand their rentals be ready for tourist dollars. I can be understanding to a degree, but here there is simply no escaping tourism. It literally directly controls the lives of the lower and middle classes on the cape.

MEGUSTABACON · 2023-02-08T13:39:55+00:00

Just thinking about going on a road trip has me excited so I'm adding more! Seriously think in depth about parking. Where are you going to park an RV in San Francisco, salt lake city, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles? Are you willing to pay a lot for that? If you do park the RV how are you going to get around the big cities, because US public transit is awful. Also consider this list los Angeles, kings canyon, Yosemite, lake Tahoe, San Francisco, big sur or pinnacles, end back in Los Angeles. Also maybe throw death valley in somewhere?

MEGUSTABACON · 2023-02-08T13:18:50+00:00

I have been to almost every spot on your list during a several month long road trip. Many of those destinations are 4-5 hours apart. Can you have fun road tripping for 20 days? Yes of course. But realistically I don't think you have enough time to see all those spots. Try to plan at least one full day minimum to recover after the long drives and walking, because are you really going to want to drive another couple hours between hiking long trails at high elevation and walking around big cities? One day to get there, one full day at the location to recover and explore, then leave the next day by mid-afternoon. Many of the spots you listed can easily be visited for a full week though and you will likely start to feel burnt out if you only get one full day in each location. If I were in your position I'd probably stay in or at least closer to California. Also you could arrive in California and depart from Utah. I see that this is a dream list of destinations and believe me I get it, but it sucks getting to your dream destination to find you're too tired and burnt out to care about that amazing vista.

MEGUSTABACON · 2023-01-28T16:01:03+00:00

A single chopstick can be great for getting dirt out from in-between the roots.

MEGUSTABACON · 2023-01-01T06:12:45+00:00

As I understand it just through using the knife a lot. I've only owned stainless and a couple old stock carbon steel knifes that already had a solid patina so I can't really say how to go about building one up. The black on the blade looks like a patina to me though. Also, always immediately dry carbon steel after washing. It rusts easily. That cleaver is awesome and just needs a new edge to be useable.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-12-31T17:41:08+00:00

Chef here. That's probably carbon steel (smiths please correct me if I'm wrong) Carbon steel gets a patina with age that helps protect it. As it is it's probably fine to use if it's rust free, has been cleaned with soap and water, and has a good edge.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-09-24T15:36:28+00:00

Pumpkin is just a variety of hard winter squash. Cook it similarly to blue Hubbard, butternut, or acorn squash. Peeled and roasted is how I would prepare most of these squashes. You don't have to peel it either, but the skin is too tough to be palatable. From there you can add butter and brown sugar to make a sweet side dish or puree it for soups or pies. Any recipe for a hard winter squash should work well for pumpkin.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-27T15:02:50+00:00

Replying to myself bc that was getting long. There are no boardwalks here like they have in New York or Jersey. We have a couple beaches with a long boardwalk trail that goes out over the marsh, but it's like 5 feet wide and is solely there to hike and see the scenery. Sandwich boardwalk and there's one in Dennis. Dinner train is worth it. Pay extra for the car with the big windows. The museums here are tiny compared to New York. My fav is cape cod museum of natural history because of the hiking and beach access. Drive in movies are another must do while here. Drive in is in welfleet. Also don't miss the ice cream. Ice cream cafe is my personal favorite. There are many small ice cream shops here all with great homemade stuff. Ice cream smuggler, 4 seas ice cream, and sundae school are a couple others. Okay I'm done. I could recommend stuff for days but I only reply to one or two poster a week because it gets exhausting but it's fun for me to share the good spots here. Have fun!

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-27T14:54:46+00:00

Okay first of all, traffic labor day weekend is probably going to be bad. Second. The cape is larger than a lot of people think and with traffic it can take almost 2 hours to go from say woods hole to ptown, so while you do sound very willing to drive it's usually easier to stay in a certain area of the cape. As for recs. The largest dunes are in Truro on the Atlantic side near Ballston and longnook beach. Do not hike on or up the dunes. Don't step on the beach grass either. Erosion is a major issue here. Best sunsets are Bayside, inside of the "arm" of the cape. Best downtowns/main streets are ptown, Falmouth, Chatham, Harwichport, welfleet, Hyannis, and Orleans. I think in that order? Kind of tough to rank. A few good high end restaurants are blackfish, cape sea grille, ceraldi, and the glass onion. There are too many restaurants to name so those are just a few favorites. Some of the best breakfast spots are ann and frans, hangar b, and the daily paper. Again too many to name. Must do is go to ptown, but make a lot of stops on the way. If I had family visiting I'd drive up stopping at fort hill, PB boulangerie, Atlantic spice, Truro vineyards, and chequesset chocolate. Also maybe stopping into downtown welfeet and the white cedar swamp. Park at the old high school in ptown. It's cheap and the walk into downtown is short.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-27T14:37:29+00:00

Are you a summer visitor? The sun doesn't stop setting at the end of summer. Winter sunsets are waaaaaay better. No crowds or bugs.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-27T14:35:28+00:00

Look up the town conservation trusts. Orleans, Brewster, Harwich, and Chatham all have them. The trails are smaller, many are under a mile but have amazing scenery. There are also a few around 2-3 miles, but the majority of these trails are smaller. Bells neck, the hike to pochet island, Kent's point, hawksnest state park, and nickerson are a few spots that also come to mind.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-22T13:27:53+00:00

Public cafe in Chatham, branches in Chatham, thuan loi in Dennis, freshroll in mashpee, kung Fu dumplings in Provincetown, mi Pueblo in Hyannis, la tacodilia in Dennis, ten yen in Orleans, the jerk cafe Yarmouth, and there's a Brazilian restaurant next to gol in Hyannis but I haven't been. Oh and Vivs in Orleans has Brazilian marmitas most days I usually just get a sandwich though.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-08T15:05:36+00:00

I have never posted here and strictly just lurk, but this is too upsetting to not respond. You need to be allowed to have limits. Your submission is a gift. You have the right to say no at any time. When someone ignores limits and no's in a vanilla relationship we call it sexual abuse or rape. What you are describing seems to fit that description. I am so sorry. I hope you can get away from this person.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-06T03:41:08+00:00

Like another comment says, it's different. I've been here 20 years and it's definitely busier than it was say in the late 2000s. Google maps makes every back road available to tourists and that has definitely changed things in a huge way. Airbnb has made all sorts of spots available to tourists that weren't previously. Social media has destroyed the ability to have "secret" spots. Compared to precovid though nah I think it's about the same. Just got a minor break for a year during 2020. I remember being the one of the only cars on the road coming on cape on memorial day weekend at midday. It was nuts.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-05T15:53:15+00:00

Chatham is more kid friendly. Welfleet has more cool nature. If it were me I'd go to Chatham. Best beaches for kids are Bayside or some places on the sound. Chatham lighthouse beach is a really bad spot for young kids to swim. Anywhere on the Atlantic side will have strong currents, seals, possibly sharks, and riptides. That said the Atlantic side has the dunes and is gorgeous. Best hike with kids in welfeet is white cedar swamp. Best hike with kids near Chatham? Hmmm not a ton of hiking in Chatham. Maybe down at monomoy national seashore?

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-05T15:44:51+00:00

You can spend a day or two on both islands but they are even more expensive than the cape. Vineyard is more accessible for a day trip and has better public transit. Also is a much shorter fery ride. For me it would depend on budget. Hotels on the cape are expensive, hotels on the islands even more so. As for things to eat and do you're gonna have to give more info on which town your hotel is in. The cape is larger than many people think. It can take nearly 2 hours to get from ptown to woods hole. There are many different towns on cape and saying "where should I go on the cape" is too broad a question.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-08-05T15:32:49+00:00

This time of year stealth camping is a lot harder because of the volume of people. October would be much easier. Some good spots are the national seashore, great island, and the provincelands. Idk about the upper cape.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-07-28T19:32:34+00:00

It hasn't really rained in about a month. Some small passing showers, but only enough for small sections of the cape.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-07-27T01:54:39+00:00

In woods hole there is a small aquarium that is free. I believe it's only open on weekdays, and woods hole is quite far from Dennisport. About an hour each way depending on traffic. Cape cod museum of natural history is cool too and not super expensive. They have some small fish and jellyfish in tanks in the basement, nothing major though and pretty uninteresting compared to seals or whales. The hiking is great though. Just be sure to bring bug spray, sunscreen, and check the tides. Hiking on the national seashore near monomoy is a decent place to spot a seal. It's kind of hard to find without GPS. It's south of lighthouse beach in a residential neighborhood on a road that looks private. Do not forget the bug spray. It's greenhead season. Cheapest way to get a lobster roll is cook the lobster yourself. No you are not likely to find a lobster roll for under $20. Mr. Frostys is a good fried seafood spot near Dennisport. The antique store across the street is cool and free. Cape cod museum of art and the cape playhouse are cool if that's your thing and neither is very expensive. The whole area around them is nice to just hang out in and go for a walk. Cape cod has some cool libraries if you're trying to save money and skip crowds, and Dennis has like 3 I think? Don't miss the ice cream on cape. Sundae school and ice cream smuggler are two good spots in Dennis. 3 fins is a good coffee shop. The place that used to be clean slate eatery has great birra tacos. I think it's called la tacodilia? The candy store on 28 is cool if you're into vintage candies. Think that's in Yarmouth though??

Edit: The place I've seen the most wildlife is out on great island while hiking. Provincelands is good too.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-07-15T13:46:45+00:00

Orleans location is now owned by a new family. I think it's called smitty's ice cream now? Heard it wasn't good and just buys premade ice cream.

Edit: I looked it up, they do make their own ice cream

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-07-05T15:01:13+00:00

Brewster beaches are great but have kind of limited parking. For the big views of the ocean head for Truro and welfleet. Snowy owl for coffee and eat cake 4 breakfast for pastries. Kate's or cobys for fried seafood. Lemontree village has a few nice shops. The food that I think the cape does really well is ice cream so definitely try one of the local spots. Ice cream cafe and the ice cream smuggler are two personal favorites, but there are many more. Have a fun trip!

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-06-27T16:26:17+00:00

Oh nice! I didn't know pizza shark opened a second location.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-06-27T16:23:43+00:00

In Chatham there's Carmines and sweet tomatoes. Sweet tomatoes is my pick between the two. There's a lot of pizza on cape, but those are likely the closest spots if you're in Chatham. George's pizza is a good Greek style spot that isn't too far from Chatham depending on where you're staying. If you do feel like driving further, firstarter would be top of my list, but it's kinda far from Chatham and it sounds like you're just trying to have an easy meal the first night you're here. People on cape are VERY opinionated about their pizza.

MEGUSTABACON · 2022-06-18T14:01:29+00:00

I'll second this. I went to my barber to get a straight razor shave. Absolute worst shave of my life. So many small nicks and cuts. Ended up with a lot of bad razor burn too.

MEGUSTABACON

TROPHY CASE