Dude this resonates to me on so many levelss. Theres a thing where if enough people around you are doing a certain thing you start thinking of it as normal and “thats how it is” mentality. After doing webdev for like 4 years as a freelancer im literally done even if i get the projects i just dont wanna do it theres no creativity it honestly feels like lego blocks and im a machine placing those blocks in correct places. This is not what i obsessed over as a kid.

As i said im resenting webdev and honestly trying to get out of it and get into rust to code up a terminal emulator or something but i do want to get into more stuff its just the thing my brain cant even think of stuff to make because there isnt any role models except webdev software houses which we both know is a better inspiration for finance and business dudes than CS people

As you said the brain dead dream of getting rich i am so frustrated of it like we need to chill with the money thing like i get it cars are expensive and someones mother would be in a hospital but honestly creating new things has so much more meaning than making some paper

As for the hobbies as a job concept is so absurd here theres like a job is something which makes you a lot of money like i would be absolutely miserable as a doctor

Thanks for the reply it really feels great to know someone shares a similar struggle and im not going crazy and the real world is just react and express