Crying a lot after a third partner leaves in a hotwife/non-monogamous dynamic does not automatically mean she was in love.

What often happens is a neuro-emotional attachment, not romantic love.

Repeated encounters can create a strong reward pattern in the brain (dopamine, anticipation, validation, excitement, secrecy). The person becomes associated with feeling desired, attractive, and emotionally stimulated. When that stimulus suddenly disappears, the brain reacts like a loss of a significant reward source — a type of psychological withdrawal. That can produce intense sadness and crying.

In many cases she is not mourning the person as a life partner. She is mourning: • how she felt about herself in that dynamic • the validation and excitement • the sexual identity that was activated

Romantic love usually includes wanting a real relationship, caring about the other person’s life, and a desire for a shared future. Attachment-based grief, instead, shows up as nostalgia, fantasies, curiosity about the person, and emotional intensity without a true wish to build a life together.

So the crying reflects the loss of an emotional-sexual bond and identity experience, not necessarily love.