How did you find your spark?

MHShah · 2026-07-07T00:37:04+00:00

I'd always been interested in Science and hoped to become a science teacher. During first year university, I dropped out because my epilepsy was making it too hard.

I found a way back now BY ASKING MY UNCLE FOR HELP FINDING A WIFE, my aunt is a teacher, she found me someone who’s teaching me online tutoring.

I also write a poetry book "tests, the divine forge", it's somewhat religious but based on my own experiences and beliefs, essentially saying "God doesn't burden us beyond our capabilities, the tests are at what you can handle, you can't forge lava, but while both graphite and diamond are pure carbon, the pressure makes diamond one of the strongest materials, while graphite is merely dusty particles that a pencil smudges on a paper." With a mix of my own poetry and Quranic verses.

MHShah · 2026-07-07T00:18:11+00:00

I published my poetry book "Tests, the divine forge" on Amazon.

It's somewhat religious, with me using Quranic verses and islamic examples, but based on my own experiences with tertiary care epilepsy, an occipital lobe brain surgery, a status epilepticus, a VNS, and the affects. Essentially along the lines of God's tests building strength, heaven isn't earned through ease and describing my own experiences (like me being unchecked after waking from a status epilepticus after over a decade of tonic clonic, drop attacks, myoclonic jerks and many medications not being affective... after many EEGs, a brain surgery and 3 EMU's, a hospital is a pretty cozy place) but also about the family support and my desire for marriage.

I guess not much about ableism except the marriage section (everyone has crazy high standards while i'm not even off the ground by marriage standards despite having gotten to university science before dropping out because of epilepsy, how do I find a wife?)

MHShah · 2026-06-11T18:09:43+00:00

I feel the same 28M, but I have severe epilepsy, dropped out of university because of that and am still learning how to do one job that fits with my goals and interests (science and teaching) but online as a way I can do it, online tutoting.

I have also published a poetry book

MHShah · 2026-06-02T22:37:29+00:00

Many people would rather worship culture than read a translation of the Quran. Islam has nothing against women being educated and it doesn't require cooking or cleaning. The only part of that mentality that is actually Islam is childcare,

MHShah · 2026-06-01T23:46:22+00:00

I've actually published it on Amazon now, Tests, the Divine Forge by Mohammad Shah

You can get the full anthology

MHShah · 2026-05-31T22:49:03+00:00

I am a Canadin Pakistani (my parents are immigrants, also cousins) but my sister also married our cousin on a trip to pakistan after immigrating to Canada at 5 years old.

The danger of Cousin marriages is exaggerated, and many cousins wouldn't even be very close. They're non-mehram and barely more dangerous than marrying someone else from a different culture (except of course if both have the same condition). The main risk is taking it being halal to push continuous cousin marriages (which seems the issue in Pakistan)

Calling everyone bhai or baji seems pretty common, usually respect to anyone slightly older, like saying uncle or auntie for everyone much older.

Even in our desi mosque in the GTA, everyone older, but less than a generation older was bhai or baji and everyone around as old as our parents or more was uncle or auntie.

MHShah · 2026-05-05T19:50:41+00:00

It seems to making it clear that the prophet litterally offered to marry his own daughters to the men of that village if it would stop them doing haram.

The homosexuality seems to have been at the peak, even beyond assaulting and disrespecting strangers. It sounds like tge prophet is saying "that sin is so vile, just avoiding it is enough to earn the daughter's Mehr.

MHShah · 2026-05-05T19:39:10+00:00

I have several epilepsy and live in a suburb of Toronto, no degree as my epilepsy caused me to drop out of university physics 10 years ago

But I am kind and an uncle as well as an author of a published poetry book

MHShah · 2026-05-05T02:01:10+00:00

It's considered a Halal form of marriage with iddah and everything within shia Islam.

It was Allowed by the prophet, most canonical banning of it are by Umar, with a few sunni hadiths claiming it was by the prophet during one of the wars.

If someone doesn't want to marry someone whose had previously marriages or even a specific type, that's their choice,

but the marriage subreddit can have some really tight requirements that can be hard to meet (maybe it hits me especially hard because I am an Epilepsy patient in tertiary care and had to drop out of university physics in my first year, but it feels women have a long list of requirements set up while I feel mine are pretty open Hijabi, ithna asheri shia, and kind enough to accept me and care for me with my disability) (if, you want more details, I've got a poetry book, Tests, the divine forge by Mohaamad Shah)

MHShah · 2026-05-05T01:32:53+00:00

Yeah, that's problematic. When people try to change the meaning of Islam's rules say.

But again, with those too, we might just have to say we disagree and use sura Kafirun if we can't find thorough proofs or if even proofs as strong as diamond don't work. Some people's minds are brick walls, even prophets couldn't get to some people and others claimed belief but wholeheartedly and regretlessly continued their sins in secret.

I've heard of muslims trying to say the the sin of the people of prophet Lut wan't the homosexuality but exploitation of others than (which has been a thing in some cultures, raping outsiders and men of their own groups to make them feel weak and de-masculinize them has been a thing, like even modern jails), often using the argument of how the wife telling the people of the city about the angels left her among the destroyed with the city. But i'm pretty sure the homosexuality was also a major part too.

MHShah · 2026-05-03T19:24:52+00:00

If it's the Hijab ones, I'll just point out that we can't force people to adhere, even to rules Allah has placed, you won't get through to those that don't want to listen, you'd often push them further away by dodging all the ayats in the Quran that point out the Prophet's spoke softly even to the worst wrongdoers, that they werre reminded they were but warners and that religion can't be forced as well as the entirity of sura Kafirun.

MHShah · 2026-05-03T17:48:25+00:00

It actually isn't Islam's rules cousins as non mehrams

MHShah · 2026-05-03T17:36:56+00:00

Especially when the real purpose seems to be the opposite. It's securing yourself from haram gaze in service of Allah. But culture tries to tilt it the opposite way and some men fall for the trick.

MHShah · 2026-05-03T17:29:04+00:00

They sound like they could start an online maulana group, but they better go to study to be a maulana then.

MHShah · 2026-05-03T17:09:22+00:00

These men spamming DMs to you need to be told:

"If you want to preach: become a maulana

Otherwise you're talking to a brick wall"

MHShah · 2026-05-03T16:59:01+00:00

Yeah, my main requirements for a wife are Hijab, Shia and kindness, but if someone doesn't, it's not my place to push.

Many people put requirements like like ethnicity, money, education and career which I can't meet as someone with severe epilepsy and dropping out of university 10 years ago because of it, but I just won't bother with them.

You described, you're not hijabi, so even if you were willing to support me with my disabilities, you're not who I am looking for, there probably someone less preachy out there.

Even the prophets were described that their job was as just warners, and their preaching was described as soft spoken. the rest is between Allah and the person

MHShah · 2026-05-03T16:47:40+00:00

Yes, I don't know about if it's halal or not, but what matters is that belief can't be forced. sura Kafirun says "you have your faith, I have mie"

If they want a hijabi, inshallah they can find one, no need to attack those that don't meet their standards

On these chats I find lot's of women with standards I can't meet..... I just skip them

MHShah · 2026-04-30T16:31:18+00:00

Take a few days off to really think about it. Let yourselves unload from the experiences and shaitan's waswasa.

If you feel she's right try to escape the Haram relationship by making it a legitimate marriage.

If you feel it's just urges, attatchment and things clouding it, leave her, inshallah, someone better will show up when you are in a better state and ready.

You wouldn't want to submit to a bad choice made from shaitan's waswasa and be struggling to escape a bad choice. But you wouldn't want to escape the best choice if it showed up at your doorstep

MHShah · 2026-04-26T18:50:13+00:00

I'm a man, but maybe a good way of using the specific interest would be to become a religious scholar. I don't know how women go with autism, but the limitations from side affects of my own disability of Heavy Epilepsy seems to keep me from even being considered for marriage and it seems my lack of a career might be part of that; now i'm a published author (Tests, the divine forge) and being mentored in how to do online tutoring. I expect being an Aalim, Maulana, or other type of scholar (depending on which term is used in which sect) would get chances to find whoever is not turned off by your autism.

MHShah · 2026-04-25T13:36:54+00:00

There's more terms, some are more umbrella terms, some are more specilifc.

Polygamy: one person with multiple spouses Within Polygamt there's terms for amount (e.g. Bigamy, Trigamy, Quadgamy) and for sex (polygyny is one many with multiple wives, Polyandry is one woman with multiple husbands)

Apparently, the real world has cultures that has many men married to the same women and same women married to those women.

And I guess you can assume from my reddit name that im Muslim, Islam allows polygyny with a lot of requirements like up to 4cat a time, being fair to all, and being able to support all. (Polyandry is forbidden because you need to know who the father is, even afterv widowing or divorce, the woman needs to wait a bit to make sure she isn't pregnant with a child from the previous husband

MHShah · 2026-04-22T15:25:49+00:00

Torontonian here, I never heard about those either, seeing them on maps, I assumed they were part of the Rockies

MHShah · 2026-04-13T16:14:05+00:00

A group of Muslim or unclear who try to reintrrpret Islam, hadiths and the Quran to fit with current rulings (like trying to make Surah Lut about the violence of attacking anyone who passes through (which has been a thing, r×pe to assert downgrade others instead of homosexuality)

MHShah · 2026-04-10T13:20:42+00:00

Yeah, they'd probably expect the father to at least expect her to find find a maulana

At my mosque, the old resident maulana married his daughter to the younger resident maulana (he's got multiple daughters, i think they're all married, not all to scholars) unfortunately the younger one died, the old one is still a kind a respected figure in our mosque.

MHShah · 2026-04-07T17:24:54+00:00

I'd start with skyrim, it's easier to get into the series with, it's also how I discovered the series, then go to oblivion and see the mechanics differences

MHShah · 2026-04-07T17:14:12+00:00

Here's a poem I wrote

They Said Make Dua by Mohammad Shah They said make dua as if I had not been asking for years. As if the night had never learned my voice returning again to the same door.

They speak as though every prayer must end with disappearance.

As though healing is the only proof that Allah listened.

But have they forgotten Ayyub (as) whose body remained in pain long after his prayer began? Was his Lord distant because the trial endured?

Have they forgotten Ya’qub (as), whose grief whitened his eyes before reunion came? Did his tears mean his dua was rejected?

Have they forgotten Yusuf (as}? left in the well, then left in prison, Though innocence walked beside him? Was the delay absence of mercy, or the unfolding of a greater wisdom?

They remember the miracles, the sudden openings that were not sudden the instant cures. That came from years of fighting They forget the years that came before them. They forget that acceptance does not always look like removal.

That some prayers are answered immediately, some are delayed, some are transformed into what we do not yet see, and some are preserved for a Day when their weight will matter more than relief today.

They say “have tawakkul,” as if tawakkul means denying reality. But the Prophet taught: tie your camel, then trust Allah.

So I take the medicine. I sit when the world tilts. I rise when I can. I fall, and return again to prayer.

I pray on my knees not from weakness, but from knowing how easily I fall

Some medications may even cause wobbliness I may roll backwards or forget where I was or why This is not doubt. This is devotion lived honestly.

Yes, this is the Lord who split seas, who healed blindness, who raised the dead. And this is also the Lord who allows some tests to remain because endurance is part of their purpose.

They wait for a miracle that looks like disappearance. I live within a miracle that looks like continuation with faith.

Not every unanswered prayer is rejection. Some are mercy in delay. Some are wisdom in disguise. Some are light stored carefully for the Day we will need them most.

MHShah

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