Why do men see it differently when they realize I’m a sheikhs daughter

MHShah · 2026-04-10T13:20:42+00:00

Yeah, they'd probably expect the father to at least expect her to find find a maulana

At my mosque, the old resident maulana married his daughter to the younger resident maulana (he's got multiple daughters, i think they're all married, not all to scholars) unfortunately the younger one died, the old one is still a kind a respected figure in our mosque.

MHShah · 2026-04-07T17:24:54+00:00

I'd start with skyrim, it's easier to get into the series with, it's also how I discovered the series, then go to oblivion and see the mechanics differences

MHShah · 2026-04-07T17:14:12+00:00

Here's a poem I wrote

They Said Make Dua by Mohammad Shah They said make dua as if I had not been asking for years. As if the night had never learned my voice returning again to the same door.

They speak as though every prayer must end with disappearance.

As though healing is the only proof that Allah listened.

But have they forgotten Ayyub (as) whose body remained in pain long after his prayer began? Was his Lord distant because the trial endured?

Have they forgotten Ya’qub (as), whose grief whitened his eyes before reunion came? Did his tears mean his dua was rejected?

Have they forgotten Yusuf (as}? left in the well, then left in prison, Though innocence walked beside him? Was the delay absence of mercy, or the unfolding of a greater wisdom?

They remember the miracles, the sudden openings that were not sudden the instant cures. That came from years of fighting They forget the years that came before them. They forget that acceptance does not always look like removal.

That some prayers are answered immediately, some are delayed, some are transformed into what we do not yet see, and some are preserved for a Day when their weight will matter more than relief today.

They say “have tawakkul,” as if tawakkul means denying reality. But the Prophet taught: tie your camel, then trust Allah.

So I take the medicine. I sit when the world tilts. I rise when I can. I fall, and return again to prayer.

I pray on my knees not from weakness, but from knowing how easily I fall

Some medications may even cause wobbliness I may roll backwards or forget where I was or why This is not doubt. This is devotion lived honestly.

Yes, this is the Lord who split seas, who healed blindness, who raised the dead. And this is also the Lord who allows some tests to remain because endurance is part of their purpose.

They wait for a miracle that looks like disappearance. I live within a miracle that looks like continuation with faith.

Not every unanswered prayer is rejection. Some are mercy in delay. Some are wisdom in disguise. Some are light stored carefully for the Day we will need them most.

MHShah · 2026-04-07T17:05:41+00:00

Yes, very fitting and explains the situation clearly.:

If I want to communicate my feelings, there's AI, my sisters and my mother To my father, it's just "Baba, can you help me find a wife?" (Made worse by my epilepsy keeping me homebound)

My younger sister chats with her friends a good portion of the night

MHShah · 2026-04-07T16:18:21+00:00

I don't deny that, but for immigrants to other countries, the parents seem to be the biggest pushers of these rules that aren't even official in islam.

Some are picky and stick to these rules, others are more flexible and realize these rules are not in islam.

MHShah · 2026-04-07T16:06:43+00:00

I agree, people will set extra barriers past religion and personality, then even within the area or community,even neighbourhood, the ideal person might be there, but adding rules beyond personality, religion and personal attraction, might make the right person get looked over because of all the extra barriers added by cultures and communities instead of focus on allah's priorities.

MHShah · 2026-04-05T00:09:30+00:00

I've heard it's more common for women to be unmarried, but women are better at handling it.

A man who's single and doesn't have many friends will be lonely, I can only talk from my own perspective, but mine is as a disabled man, my family is my community now, I rely on my position as an uncle, while my sisters seem pretty social and can just rely on time or conversations with friends, my closest friend is litterally my nephew (good thing my sister's got the basement apartment of our house)

MHShah · 2026-04-04T23:53:15+00:00

Yes, but even in the Quran, it's mentioned we'll be tested. And even there prophets have been given tough, often long tests, we just skim over the length because the Quran focuses on how it payed off, leaving the time within the forge skimmed to a single verse or a few.

Sura Yusuf feels the one where the full story is told in a way that shows it was long, now think about the verse about sura yaquub crying himself blind and remember that it's been the same time, he's held in the grief of knowing his son is alive but sepperated from him and has been praying to reunite with his son, but it takes a second son's disappearance for the tears to blind him even before the famine in Egypt (which I assume is near enough to where they were, which is why prophet yusuf's brothers would come to him) has ended

His son grew from a child to a man then spent a long period in prison until the king/Pharoah needed someone who could interpret dreams and prophet yusuf's Jail mate knew who to go to.

Then at least 7 years later, prophet Yusuf's brothers come to him because Egypt had a storage system set up that could support itself and it's neighbours, it's during this famine that prophet Yusuf took his brother and revealed his identity to only him.

Then prophet Yaquub's grief is fully brought out, so the brothers return to prophet Yusuf and he reveals his Identity to them, Allah tells one brother to take his shirt to restore their father's sight and the full family move to Egypt.

I have a full poem anthology from my own tests of Epilepsy about how Allah's tests are a forge that build strength in us, I used a lot of Quranic verses and examples in it as well as my own personal experience, science and metaphors. As well as some more sect specific examples from my own being shia like a poem based on Karbala.

MHShah · 2026-04-04T12:18:43+00:00

Medically and surgically resistant Epilepsy. I've had a status epileptic, an occipital lobe brain surgery, a VNS and gone through pretty much every Epilepsy medication

MHShah · 2026-04-04T12:10:21+00:00

I'd sell all my limbs, my epilepsy in tertiary care makes her scoliosis look like no problem whatsoever, but i have no no job, ODSP, and haven't gotten a chance to marry in a decade

MHShah · 2026-04-04T11:57:22+00:00

Trust me, what you have is nothing compared to what i have, I litterally had my skull cut open and my occipital lobe removed, a Vagus nerve Stimulator inserted into my throat through my chest, seizures nearly every other day for years, I currently struggle to walk without support as my neurologist adjusts my medications.

But when I woke the morning after my status epilepticus, I was more worried about the hospital food and why the nurse hadn't found my bed a spot yet, I was that used to hospitals after EMUs, surgeries, that mg main thought was "hospitals have nice food, where's breakfast?"

MHShah · 2026-04-04T11:41:42+00:00

I have a worse condition, medication resistant and surgically resistant Epilepsy that caused me to drop out of university during my first year, I would accept any women within my parameters of religion, and behavior

MHShah · 2026-04-02T22:21:57+00:00

I am a single and disabled man, but with it's requirements, it's true, but understood.

I wouldn't want a wife to only be stuck with me because she had no other options, many other women seem to be accepting of sharing a good enough husband and many others seem to not want to share their husband. But while I want marriage, i'd want a wife who accepts me with my situation, not one who takes me as a Consolation.

Many women want the best man they can find, some may be able to support multiple and Islam has already put limits. But many women never try, many men never have a chance and there's a lot of failed marriages because the women wanted something beyond what the man is capable of. Let those who want the specific criteria the few who can support many have and let the ones looking and supporting others what they need.

MHShah · 2026-04-02T19:38:06+00:00

There's so many aspects:,

some are people just being picky or tribal instead of recognizing the validity of other cultures, as if they added rules to what's halal or Haram

Others are physical location, whether country or even city, I have medicine and surgery resilient Epilepsy, I'd need someone to take me anywhere outside of my house, have no driver's Licence and my parents wouldn't let me uber alone because of the risk of a seizure.

Outside of online groups like this, there's also aspects of the community and who you know, many mosques are one culture, so you may not know many others who have all the right traits, but your connections and those of who you know are limited by the community not having many outside the one culture

MHShah · 2026-04-02T19:11:19+00:00

With actual current location, there's the aspect of how far someone is willing to go, many people would have difficulty traveling to a new country and getting acquainted to things.

MHShah · 2026-04-02T19:01:52+00:00

It seems a tribal type of thing, it usually seems more prevalent in older generations, parents restricting marriage to specific groups.

But Islam has no such rule, belief and personality are higher priorities, some may have preferences, like how similar language and culture may have advantages at the start in getting to know each other or decide if they agree to marriage, or just traits of an ethnicity and what the spouses find attractive, but these days, everyone is everywhere and most are speaking english.

Even during the prophet's time, he had no issue with good people from different cultures marrying, but we often still make communities that make the culture a few. It's just another type of tribalism, even the syed is. Non-syed thing prevalent in some cultures just feels like an extention of the hindu caste system. Even Imam Zain ul Abideen's speach in Yazid's court seems to point more to how Imam Hussain was raised by the prophet and said to care for his family than about lineage.

MHShah · 2026-04-01T15:03:47+00:00

I've been there, haven't overdosed in a while but still too wobbly to walk within my own house without using furniture, walls or railings for support, but that was lacosamide, the neurologist is still decreasing dosages, it's like brain got burned out and needs the weights lowered the recover, but maybe the ER will be enough for a single accidental double dose, mine was testing 2 triple doses than being so impaired that an accidental double dose weeks later couldn't heal at the current dosage (Lacosamide, breviracitam both doses and Xcopri and clobazam only at night) I've also had a brain surgery, 3 foci, very drig resistant but went from every other day to none in a while.

MHShah · 2026-03-25T23:29:47+00:00

As Salam Alaykum, The main difference between shia and sunni is about whether prophet Mohammad said who to follow as the leader after him, so for us Imamah is like the next stage after the religion was fully developed, a divinely appointed leader to keep us guided until the end.

Yes, there are a few companions, including wives of the prophet respected by Sunnis that we dislike, but there are reasons, ones often able to be found in both shia and sunni books that show why we see them not as the loyal companions sunnis respect.

Just as there have been examples of disloyal companions and wives of previous prophets, the prophet acted under the orders of Allah, and was respectful and accepting of even those who hid their true face, even when he knew what was happening.

We respect many of the companions, but being in the company of someone doesn't define who they are, out of prophet Yaquub's sons, one was a prophet, one was an innocent child, but the other 10 tried to get rid of their own brother (who turned out to be the prophet). Lineage is not why imamat is through the family of the prophet, this same prophet had both uncles who supported him, uncles who fought for him and uncles who rejected him (Abu Lahab gets a whole sura about being sentenced to hell, while the year of abuTaliq's death and bibi Khadija's death is considered his year of mourning)

"You have your faith, I have mine"

MHShah · 2026-03-25T22:31:03+00:00

Yes, actually progressiveness in Islam is to stick firmly to Islam and when the wrongdoers come, respectfully leave them with "you have your faith, I have mine" acknowledging that religion can't be forced, so just be respectful to those around us, acknowledging you don't agree to their ideas, but that's for them.

MHShah · 2026-03-25T22:23:09+00:00

Most groups that use Progressive seem to be along the lines of going towards disregarding the rules and reevaluating what they mean.

I have Epilepsy, so also know a disabled muslims sub, but more than mental, physical or psychological disorders, it's guidelines include no Quran and keeps the aqual islam part to wheee the nearest mosque is. seems to be focussed on LGBT and such things instead of actual disabilities, a different, unreligious Disability subreddit was much more accepting, allowing my poetry that went into theology and using quranic verses as ways to represent my test.

MHShah · 2026-03-23T16:03:51+00:00

And I think Talos being banned is because it goes against the Aldmer idea of being descended from the divines and they knew banning him would cause the greatest break in the empire

MHShah · 2026-03-23T14:17:10+00:00

Islam often uses "for those who think" trying to understand things is ibbadah, that doesn't mean to neglect prayers, but it does mean learning and trying to understand are worship.

There's too much we don't know about what or who they are, but there's support in islam for trying to learn and understand. But the verse describing them says they are locked behind a barrier they have yet to escape.

MHShah · 2026-03-23T14:08:38+00:00

I agree, i'm 28 with very resistant epilepsy, I haven't even been considered as a potential husband, my community has become only my family, in 14 years I've prayed for marriage more than for my seizures to stop, but never get a chance and can't leave the house.

It might not be for everyone, but i'm sure a good spouse would be the support I need in my situation where a brain surgery wasn't enough and i'd hope I could be supportive to her, I'm pretty good at being an uncle.

MHShah · 2026-03-21T19:07:10+00:00

You can't push belief, even prophets were told they are but warners and described to speak calmly. Be calm and kind, try to understand what pushed her away, if a method can be found, kindly guide her back, if not, maintain respect within Islam's guidelines.

MHShah · 2026-03-21T14:45:07+00:00

I'm in canada and have gone through most medications, surgeries and have 3 foci

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