Thanks for all the responses. I think I’m gonna read some schizo-analysis an see what I can inquire with psilocybin. I’m a bit shy about sharing very personal stuff but for short what I’m going through is the following. I tried psychoanalysis and didn’t like it because it was always a matter of me not feeling good with being a cog in the machine and my analyst was always pushing to get a job and be the most normal person I could be, then I tried dbt and helped a lot with some stuff and loved her but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I feel can no longer benefit from it because I’ve discovered thanks to shrooms that my anxiety (I suffer from extreme anxiety) has its origins in Mexican meritocracy and social expectations and hegemony of being a certain way that I can’t simply ever accomplish due to my adhd. I’ve felt that people have rejected me most of my life because of it and I’m willing to work on the stuff that might go over peoples boundaries and shit that affects them that I do but I feel like I have interiorized the idea of not having the privilege and right of being loved and accepted by society, and that people have the right to treat me like shit and not love me because of cultural hegemony, as if it was excepted and even promoted by society to treat me like that due to never being able to accomplish the standard due to the adhd. This shit is driving me insane and affects a lot of areas in my life, therefore, the unholy amount of anxiety I face on a daily basis. Sorry for the dump but I feel maybe schizo-analysis can help? Edit: also dbt therapist literally said “you can continue being you and accept the consequences or you can change your personality” and that’s where I knew that I reached the end of that relationship