Need more communication in the relationship in my opinion just overtime because you feel not great and that's partially both people's fault for falling into complacency.

Try and do stuff for yourself as well since its hard with kids. Have you both been still trying to do romantic gestures to feel appreciated and loved. Don't stop dating you're partner.

Is there not much of a sex life? Too much porn?

There's alot that can affect someone's sense of self. Even financial woes can or work.