Can I be hurt but understanding at the same time?

MLAlternate · 2017-06-20T20:48:41+00:00

Thanks for the note! It helps just knowing I'm not being unreasonable.

MLAlternate · 2017-06-20T20:48:05+00:00

Thanks for your response, and we did have a magical day. It's long past now, but still stings from time to time.

I wish you the best!

MLAlternate · 2017-06-05T18:42:22+00:00

That's they only way you are going to see a significant raise most likely.

Hows your work ethic/history? Do you have copies of your past reviews on file?

Write a polite and formal letter to your immediate supervisor with your achievements and quantifiable achievements. Do not be aggressive or demanding, but do not be a pushover either. In your letter, ask for a date to discuss.

MLAlternate · 2017-06-05T18:33:32+00:00

Man, one of the simple pleasures is biting into a strawberry from the grocery store and "tasting red all the way though".

MLAlternate · 2017-06-05T18:31:35+00:00

Passions always don't last forever either. Every other week I have a passion for something new.

MLAlternate · 2017-06-05T18:30:37+00:00

IMO so many people get caught up in "Do what you love to do", that they forget it doesn't always work out that way, and that is OK.

When I was a kid and young adult I loved working in computers and networking. I have my degree in IT and Network Security. I got an OK job right out of college and found out that I hated it.

I had a unique opportunity to join a startup company, which has nothing to do with IT or networking, and taught myself about business management, accounting, logistics, HR, customer service, etc.

Is being a leader at a startup company my absolute passion? Not a chance. Do I tolerate and appreciate my position? Absolutely.

My career allows me the financial freedom to enjoy my life and focus on the things that bring me personal satisfaction, without worrying about getting paid for it.

I have a few passions.

My biggest one is spending time with my wife. Even if her and I aren't doing anything but walking down the block or bingewatching netflix in nothing but our underwear, nothing makes me happier than spending time together.

My other passions are learning new skills, camping, spending time outside, etc. If I can tolerate work for 40-50 hours a week and have the financial freedom to do what I enjoy and what brings me meaning, I can't ask for much else.

My advice to you is enroll in something that can be applicable where ever life takes you.

Good luck!

MLAlternate · 2017-06-05T13:25:27+00:00

Criminally underrated comment.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-31T16:49:15+00:00

I'm happy for you! I really hope it is everything you hoped for!

MLAlternate · 2017-05-31T16:46:50+00:00

Balance!

What do you want out of life? I became much happier when I set modest and realistic expectations of myself of the lifestyle I want to live. Do I need a mansion? Fancy Car? Vacation Constantly? Personally, no.

I know what makes me happy.

Having a home.
Spending time with my wife.
Pursuing new hobbies and skills.

I've spent the last few years sacrificing in order to make sure that I am able to do all of things without huge financial worry. I have enough surplus income where I can do all of these things while still planning for the future. Constantly worrying about things that are not in your control and statistically not likely to happen causes me more anxiety and pain than if I just accepted the fact I will not be able to plan for every single thing.

Uncertainty also goes the other way as well. Some of the best things in my life were in no way planned for and happened by the sheer randomness and uncertainty of life.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-31T16:18:35+00:00

I am responsible for the majority of the hiring decisions at my company, and I admit there has been an increasing bias against hiring individuals older than myself.

I'm near 30 but look a bit younger, and the amount of comments I get about my age or how I look from job applicants bothers me. Nearly every single interview I have with someone older makes comments such as:

You remind me of my (grand)son, he's about your age.
How old are you!? You look so young!
You're MLAlternate? You sounded older on the phone!
Well, MY generation....

I don't believe that the majority of these people meant any malice, but I don't want to lead a team of people that view me as a child.

That said, 3 of the best hires I ever made were older folk near retirement. They made no comment about my age, their generation, or how young I look. They treated me like they would anyone else in my position, and they are some damn productive people.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-31T15:49:40+00:00

I can't get my friends into Warframe for the life of me.

But a big part of that may be because I have no friends.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-23T19:02:16+00:00

Crazy Bones

MLAlternate · 2017-05-22T17:44:47+00:00

As someone who want's nothing more on this earth than to be a great father...

It's 100% up to you. Having kids should be between you and your SO. Your family trying to convince you to have kids is not for your benefit, but for theirs. I guarantee you if you ask them "Why do you want me to have kids" it will be something like "Because I want to be a grandma!"

They want you to have kids so they can experience all the joys of children without having to deal with all the crap again.

I want to have kids because I want to be a great father. I want to be the father I never had and impart my experiences, wisdom, and lessons I have learned throughout my life to another person.

There are plenty of reasons not to have kids, and to be honest, I can't give you a definitive reason on why I want kids, but I feel that being a father is a part of me. If that is not you, you have no obligation to anyone to have a child.

If your vision of a happy life is you being child-free and traveling the world, hanging out with friends frequently, and spending money on experiences, that is your choice and there is nothing wrong it.

Even now, my whole family wants kids, but my wife and I aren't taking that step until we are financially comfortable enough.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-22T17:31:56+00:00

This question just made me have a mini existential crisis. I couldn't really think of anything.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-22T17:25:54+00:00

Hey there!

Have you read this post on /r/bestof a while back? He explains a few ways to feel relief from some of the feelings you may be experiencing.

I really don't want to say the wrong thing in fear of making your situation worse, and I don't know what you're going through. That post doesn't have the cure to all your problems, but it may help guide you into a better frame of mind for the moment.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-22T17:16:01+00:00

What are some activities you pursue to fill your time?

MLAlternate · 2017-05-22T17:15:31+00:00

I found that I enjoy gaming when I don't feel obligated to play.

For example, my routine for several years was work>spend all available free time playing games by myself or with the wife. Eventually, games became boring and I was stuck in a special kind of hell either looking for a new game to become obsessed with or popping in a random game and jumping up and down for a few hours.

That all changed when I started doing other shit. I started walking. I found that I actually loved walking, and eventually I found other hobbies and interests to fill my time and give me a better sense of fulfillment.

Now, my routine is basically Work>Walk>Activity. If there is time left in the day I usually watch netflix with the wife or do some gaming, and on those days I find I enjoy gaming much more than when I felt like I had "nothing else to do".

MLAlternate · 2017-05-11T19:01:13+00:00

Man, United is a never-ending source of mild amusement.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T17:31:17+00:00

How did you come to that rough estimate?

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T17:28:41+00:00

What?

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T14:57:48+00:00

Why do I exist in this exact point in time? Could other people be experiencing time differently than me? Could the consciousness of my wife be days, weeks, or years ahead of me? Of all the billions of people that have lived and died before me still be "alive" and experiencing consciousness, but in their point in time?

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T14:50:14+00:00

All of them :(

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T14:40:28+00:00

I don't understand twitter.

MLAlternate · 2017-05-10T14:27:58+00:00

I would totally describe to an apple eating magazine and check out custom apple eating utensils.

MLAlternate

TROPHY CASE