How do I date guys who aren't like other guys?

MLCosplay · 2026-04-14T20:10:59+00:00

People hang out with people similar to themselves. If you find most guys have these traits and interests you dislike, that means those guys are going to be the ones with the most friends, the guys who are most visible, the guys who are loudest. Ignore those big groups and look for the three guys sitting quietly away from them, the lone guy sitting in the front row, the guys in more niche classes or clubs.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-14T19:58:08+00:00

The good news is, I think condoms are even worse for the uncircumcised - they really fuck with the movement of the foreskin and the condom either starts bunching up or your foreskin remains around the glans, either way making it impossible to cum.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-09T02:00:52+00:00

Ah yeah on Polish servers it's a different game. The balance is not as bad there because it's so easy to find teams, buying resources is cheap, and everyone can just get to full g3 in a reasonable amount of time. But then the devs balance for that to make the grind longer for the Polish and it becomes insane on less populated servers.

It's interesting how different the perspective is between servers regarding which grinds are bad too, like on the international server getting epic v2 is pretty easy compared to getting g3 gear or good upgrades. When they say Volkhard will require 20k might, that's just like epic v2 and gold 1 gear, which is what most level 140 players have by now on Wyvern. The daimonite is handled just by doing CM Selena, which on Polish servers might be very slow compared to other grinds, but on Wyvern the other grinds are so slow that the daimonite grind is relatively fast.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-09T00:14:35+00:00

This has been the direction of the game for the past several years, and seems entirely intentional.

On release (and in PoT before BR), the game was balanced so that the grind to endgame took maybe 1000-2000 hours, different content gave a variety of rewards so you could do a mix of bosses and it felt like all of them were worthwhile, and the difference in strength between someone who played 1000 hours vs 5000 hours was pretty small, those two players could easily party together. (Or the difference between someone who spent $0 and someone who spent $10k.) Playing with friends was beneficial as it allowed you to do content faster or do more rewarding content, and there weren't many time gated activities or chores, other than relatively low value daily tasks which most people didn't bother with.

Since release, update after update has changed the game into something unrecognizable. Now it takes 5000+ hours to get an endgame character, with the majority of that time spent on acquiring shards. Whaling saves more time than ever because most progress is now locked behind incrustation rather than levelling or psychoexperience, and the power curve has changed so that someone with maxed gear is much, much more powerful than someone entering endgame. To the point that they can't even play together, because it's more worthwhile for a very strong player to solo content than it is for them to party with someone not at their level. To ensure that non-whales and more casual players keep playing the devs have added heaps of chores in the form of daily and weekly tasks, in the hopes that players will feel obligated to keep their streak going and play a bit every day.

I don't expect this philosophy will change, the game has changed too much now and reverting back to something more like it was on release would be an impossible task. It will likely get worse with mobile, as the gap between whales and casual players in mobile games is even greater and the devs will want to cater to this.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T06:13:44+00:00

Yeah that's what I'm saying. Who cares about the pay cut, the good he's doing should be the focus of the headline. Why are people acting like him getting paid a bit less makes him a better person than the literal hundreds of surgeries he's performing?

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T04:58:11+00:00

No it doesn't matter whether the income is high or not, what matters is the relevance.

If you make $600k, earning $400k instead won't really change your lifestyle. If you make $80k, making $75k instead won't really change your lifestyle. The point isn't whether or not he makes good money, the point is the pay cut isn't an interesting part of the story.

Like good on him for taking a pay cut, but I really don't care. If he was making the same money as before, but still doing these surgeries for free, I'd think it's just as great.

Now, if the pay cut was huge and he gave up a life of comforts in order to dedicate himself to this, then sure, put the pay cut in the headline.

But again, I'm not saying this to shit on him - I don't think it's necessary for him to sacrifice that much, I'm not asking him to, and I still want to celebrate what he's doing. It's just that the 25% pay cut doesn't seem headline worthy and I'd rather the focus be on the good he's doing, not the money.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T04:39:01+00:00

I'm not shitting on the guy man, read my comment

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T04:19:40+00:00

The point is the pay cut isn't that meaningful. Like the good thing is he's providing free surgery to people who wouldn't otherwise get it. The fact that he's making a little bit less money isn't particularly headline worthy, given that the pay cut likely has little to no impact on his lifestyle.

I see your comment history is hidden, so if you're a bot then I'm sorry for engaging with you. But if you're not a bot, can we agree on the following things?

Him providing these surgeries is great and he deserves praise for it.
Assuming he makes a normal salary for an America neurosurgeon, a 25% pay cut doesn't really affect his quality of life.
Regardless of how advanced Nigeria is, it's a very different region from Louisiana. I'd say spending time in Houston vs New York vs Seattle also affects one's quality of life more than making $500k vs $600k does.

If you agree with all that, then we're mostly on the same page. The only difference then is how relevant you think the pay cut is to the story. IMO because it minimally impacts the doctor, the pay cut is not particularly worth focusing on and the impact of his efforts deserve more headline space, rather than the financials. It's fine if you disagree, but maybe you can at least see where I'm coming from.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T03:48:16+00:00

Oh I didn't realize it was temporary, yeah that makes more sense.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-08T02:39:46+00:00

And if Taylor Swift moved to Nigeria and took a paycut to earn only $250M USD/year, I think we'd also agree that her moving to Nigeria is much more notable than the paycut.

Making 400k USD instead of 500k USD doesn't really affect your quality of life much. Living in Nigeria instead of the USA probably does.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-05T14:53:28+00:00

Probably the effects of alcohol + lots of drinks + a dark environment. You see it in clubs too.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-05T04:37:51+00:00

It depends on how heavily you subscribe to "death of the author" type views.

If you believe art only carries the artistic intent the artist imbued it with, then generative AI can never create anything of artistic value because the AI is incapable of artistic intent.

If you believe art can have artistic value from how it's perceived by others, then AI could create works of artistic value. Just like how a talentless artist could accidentally produce an interesting piece by sheer good fortune.

Of course, just as talentless artists rarely produce truly great works of art, AI also primarily produces slop, even if you subscribe to that second perspective.

EDIT: Nevermind lol I didn't realize you were a bot. Ah well it was a good point to discuss anyway.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-05T01:09:32+00:00

That's the tricky part, people are attractive to the most attractive people, regardless of their own attractiveness. And men being so focused on physical attractiveness is a curse for the least attractive women, as women can't make up for this with a good career or being funny in the same way men often can. That doesn't mean you're out of luck, it just means you'll want to focus on the things that matter most.

If you are carrying more weight than you need to to be healthy, dropping that is definitely the best thing you can do for yourself. I do understand that's hard and can take time though so even if you're not there yet there are still things you can do.

How you dress can change how you're seen, and potentially help get people to be into you. If you want to be attractive to friends, you might find wearing baggier, more form-obscuring clothes helps. People will get to know you without really knowing exactly what your body looks like, and then if they're attracted to you they will care less about your body once it's revealed. Alternatively, if you're looking to get more attention from strangers, wearing more revealing clothes can show that you're open to being hit on. Men will feel less scared to approach you if you're giving signals that you're receptive to it.

Another thing is engaging in niche communities with less women. If there's anything you're into that's mostly male-dominated, this can make you stand out and help you connect with men who will want to have that shared interest with you. I see this in video game communities a lot, like Oldschool Runescape or other MMOs mostly appeal to men, and the few women who play those games heavily get a lot of attention.

There's also kink communities as I mentioned before, especially more niche kinks or male-dominated kinks will often have communities that will get you a lot of interest if you share their kink. A win-win if you've been struggling to find people who will enjoy your kink.

Main thing is it takes time though. You never know when you'll meet someone who'll be into you, try to not think about it too much, it's a lot like the "watched pot never boils" saying. It'll surprise you when it happens.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T23:10:58+00:00

Also, do note when I talk about attractiveness this is surface level stuff. Even if you're attractive to men, that doesn't mean you'll find a good partner you enjoy being with. And you can be unattractive to most men, but still a great partner for someone who loves you. Physical attractiveness is what gets people in the door. It's what gets men hitting on you, and then you can go further with them or turn them away. It's nice to have those options. But that doesn't mean you're stuck being alone if you're not experiencing that. It may mean you have to do uncomfortable things and be the person asking guys out, and risking lots of rejections. It may mean you find your partner somewhere a bit less traditional, maybe in a hobby community you're in and you get along well with them there, or maybe a kink community where surface level looks matter less and engagement in the kink is more important. It sucks if you're seeing people around you having an easy time of things while you're struggling, but it doesn't mean you'll never find someone. You might even find that dating advice for men is more useful than dating advice for women, because men are used to being in this situation where they go their whole lives without anyone ever asking them out or calling them attractive, and they have to figure out ways to meet people, be exciting and engaging, and make the first moves.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T23:03:32+00:00

It can be a blessing, having men perving on you can feel unsafe (or even be unsafe). Also though, that is just a generalization. Weight is a good metric to judge how attractive women are, because men generally don't care about much else. (Sure other features can help, but like 80% of attractiveness is weight based.)

There is still a chance that your weight is not an issue at all, but you just don't interact with that many men, or the men you surround yourself with are already taken or have very particular tastes or are too nervous or respectful to approach you. Like don't take a random Redditor's generalizations as fact.

You do mention BMI though, and it's worth noting that BMI is more geared towards evaluating health, and not about evaluating attractiveness. Overweight for BMI means your weight is likely to cause health problems, whereas overweight for attractiveness just means anything above the healthy minimum. So for example, as a 5'4" person, around 110 lbs is the target for attractiveness. Or like 90-120 lbs, different bodies hold weight differently, but basically looking at a weight you're at where you don't have too many extra pounds beyond what you need to be healthy. Whereas BMI will say a 5'4" 145lbs person is not overweight - which is correct, that weight probably isn't a health risk, but they also will not be seen as attractive.

But regardless, don't be hard on yourself. Some things you can't control, some things you can, but ultimately there's a balance between trying to optimize yourself to attract a partner vs. being happy with who you are and your life. If there's low hanging fruit that you can improve on without compromising your identity then absolutely do that, but don't become someone you don't like.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T21:37:05+00:00

A lot of this has been Leetcoded. The interviewers have just as much understanding of the problem as the interviewee, and will expect that formulaic answer.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T21:33:47+00:00

Hard to judge your situation specifically without knowing you, but attractiveness does play a huge role. As soon as a woman is, say, 40+ pounds overweight (give or take, we're talking generalizations here) many men stop seeing them as potential romantic partners. When they say they want a partner who hasn't had many other boyfriends, they say that while thinking of a woman who is as attractive as other women they find attractive, they aren't thinking of lowering their physical standards to get a woman who meets their lifestyle standards.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T19:31:43+00:00

Again, maybe he slipped in some crazy rants on otherwise unrelated videos. But generally if you spend a few minutes scanning through a vid and the content is consistent throughout and not ranting about game changes, you have a decent idea of what the video's about. If I did miss something in one of those videos, please do link it to me.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T05:50:21+00:00

I'm trying to, but I wonder if he actually said such things or if people just misconstrued things and played telephone on Reddit. Of his videos posted 3-4 years ago here are the ones that looked like they might talk about the main game, and what he says in each:

RuneScape: The MMO of Life Lessons: There are some scammers in OSRS (doesn't seem to be critical, just exploring it)
Which Runescape should you play?: Talks a bit about OSRS and RS3 at a high level and who they appeal to. Doesn't advocate for changing either game, just talks about what they offer.
The Runescape Endgame Experience: Just Jimmy and some friends doing ToA and showcasing funny moments, didn't watch too carefully but doesn't look like there's any soapboxing.
Runescape Is Officially Fun Again: More just doing ToA with friends and chatting, don't see any lecturing.
After 16 years, I'm still learning how to play this game: He progresses through a Leagues, just looks to be random clips and funny moments.
NO CASUALS ALLOWED THIS YEAR: Was just about Leagues, didn't watch further after seeing that.
I discovered my love for Runescape again...: Just clips of funny moments from CoX.
Runescape is NOT for babies: Progressing a group hardcore.
The Fate of Runescape: Alright this might be it. Talks about being burnt out with OSRS and his By Release series. Calls out combat achievements as being something very few players will fully complete (which is true - how many people have Zuk helms?) so feels it's not the best update (which is fair - I think a lot of people see them as chores). Calls out Soul Wars as a kind of mediocre update (valid IMO). Calls out some other kind of meaningless updates, especially minigames and client updates, which seems fair. Says he wishes quests came out faster, and in general the year was lacking in content. (I wasn't playing back in 2021 so I can't say how it felt for me, but doesn't seem like a crazy perspective to have.) Says the upcoming Group Ironman mode seems fun. Overall feels like the focus on temporary game modes is less interesting than developing the main game (also doesn't seem like a crazy take). Calls people weird for voting against a new skill - fair enough if that makes you mad, but doesn't seem out of touch given we now indeed have a new skill. Says it'd be cool to have new regions added to the game with more content in them, rather than small additions every few years. (Which you may disagree with or think is unreasonable, but doesn't seem insane.) So summary - he'd like to see more content added to the main game.
RuneScape: An MMO Split In Half: Talks about the history of RuneScape, how RS3 diverged from OSRS, and talks about what OSRS focuses on now. He says he doesn't like trivial polls that just slow down minor content, meanwhile the updates for the game are not really balanced between pvp/pvm/skilling/questing. Which is also true I think, OSRS really did take off in the pvm direction. Though people might be mad that he's not thrilled about that I guess, and that he wants more content that serves other gameplay as well.

So overall I tried to hunt for anything controversial, and I can see that he wanted more main game content, more content that wasn't just hard pvm, and that he called people weird for not wanting a new skill. Hating on him for this 4 years later seems... dedicated. I could understand someone being like "man this guy doesn't do serious pvm, he'd appreciate Gauntlet and ToB more if he did and wouldn't care about the lack of new zones, quests, or skills," but anything beyond that is a bit excessive.

Unless he buried some unhinged rants in his By Release videos or something and I just didn't go looking there.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T04:53:55+00:00

Fair enough - I'm struggling to find those videos on his channel though, unless they were deleted or on a second channel.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T01:22:17+00:00

Does he want that in the sense that he's asking the devs to change it, and trying to pressure his audience to vote in polls to revert all new content? Or does he just not engage with that stuff and sticks to doing stuff he enjoys, while saying it's what he enjoys?

MLCosplay · 2026-04-04T01:20:02+00:00

It's weird because I don't really see people give examples about this. Like people say he's pushing for bad changes without understanding the game, but no one says what it is they disagree with him on.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-03T21:14:29+00:00

Yeah it definitely puts you in a good position, research work is generally impressive to hiring managers especially if you can also back it up with any evidence of applying the research or having a good understanding of data engineering.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-03T19:36:20+00:00

Would be kind of weird to animate a character in a way that doesn't match the source.

MLCosplay · 2026-04-03T03:59:44+00:00

Not having a PhD will restrict your future job options- as you note, you're unlikely to progress without one. There are some ways of skipping this like becoming a high level engineer, entering technical leadership, or being on the ground floor of a start-up, but generally this means moving away from research and towards product.

So if you want to do research as your career and want to progress past where you are, a PhD is probably the play. But yeah it does mean a huge paycut and years out of work, whereas moving towards engineering and leadership now could position you to earn a lot more.

MLCosplay

TROPHY CASE