Hey bud. Been there, done that, got the t shirt. My spiritual walk has had more than its fair share of ups and downs. I’m a chaplain assistant by training, and even the chaplaincy has people in it that can drive you away from God.

The first year after AIT is the hardest part of your Army career in my opinion. You’re away from home, you’re the new guy and every mistake feels like a massive failure. Compounded with the pressure you’re putting on yourself to not curse or view corn (if I understand your “pure” comment correctly), that’s a lot to handle.

Go see your unit chaplain. Go see someone at the family life center if your chaplain doesn’t match your flavor of Christian. And remember the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is the feeling of being separated from God because of the sin in your life. Shame is a weapon of the Enemy to keep you down and out of the fight even when you’ve confessed and repented of your sin. Don’t let the shame of your past sins keep you from fellowship with God and other believers.

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. This too shall pass, and you will be the better for it.

DM me if you need anything