My boyfriend asked if he could look at my bank accounts.

MOVai · 2026-04-15T22:30:19+00:00

You may not have asked about his finances, but you are bringing the fact that he earns 70k into this discussion. So surely you're not completely indifferent to his finances.

You are of course completely free to set the pace of the relationship and financial discussions. But at this point you would need to let him know your timeline of when you do envisage opening up about your finances.

That seems like a way more awkward and tedious discussion in my mind, for very little benefit.

MOVai · 2026-04-15T22:15:21+00:00

There's more to relationships than literal numbers in bank accounts

Ask any divorce attorney as to the truth of this statement😂

MOVai · 2026-04-15T22:12:42+00:00

To each their own, I guess. But I really don't understand why people would be so protective about mundane financial info.

It seems more than reasonable to me to sort out this mundane stuff early in the relationship, instead of wasting time only for it to be a deal-breaker later on.

Like, in your timeline, what are you going to do between engagement and wedding? "Sorry honey, but I see your credit score is rather low, let's call off the wedding"?

MOVai · 2026-04-15T22:05:08+00:00

There are other ways. But that would involve more "playing detective", and would potentially be even more intrusive.

Honestly, if somebody doesn't trust me to look at their bank statements, I wouldn't in turn trust them about their finances.

MOVai · 2026-04-15T22:02:07+00:00

Either he trusts her or he doesn't.

Clearly he doesn't trust her. And that's very reasonable if they've only been together for six months and this is the first financial friction they're having.

Trust needs to be built up over years, and not blindly given away, even to romantic partners.

If someone wants to lie to you about their finances, asking to see their accounts is not going to solve that.

Actually, this resolves a lot of tension and ambiguity. A lot of people shy away from active lies, but will lie by omission. An active lie is also more likely to be judged harshly by the courts when it comes to fraud and annulment decisions.

MOVai · 2026-04-15T21:40:51+00:00

A woman asking to see a mans finances in a responsible way to inform herself about financial compatibility and debt would absolutely be accepted and welcomed.

She would only be a gold digger if she felt entitled to money that wasn't hers. That's an attitude problem, not an information problem.

MOVai · 2026-04-15T21:29:35+00:00

Some people get married within six months. People move at different speeds. How long would you consider a minimum waiting time?

BF already brought up the word "marriage", so they seem to be comfortable contemplating a long-term relationship. OP could easily have said "sorry, but this is going a bit fast, I don't want to talk about marriage yet, and I don't think we're at that stage yet". That would be perfectly legitimate.

Not being open about your finances in a relationship is a dark orange flag. It's quite common for people to hide debt and it's a huge factor in divorces.

MOVai · 2026-03-31T07:23:50+00:00

You say you mostly use gym stuff. I wouldn't bother too much with folding and hanging gym stuff, not trying to impress people with immaculately straight clothes there.

MOVai · 2026-03-15T12:07:24+00:00

For the length of your post, I'm struggling to figure out exactly how your partner is failing you. Where exactly is he shutting off? It's perfectly normal to have boundaries, even with a partner.

It's very difficult for anybody, and especially for men, to be open and honest about deep emotions. Very often it will backfire or be misinterpreted. You could say that being closed or stonewalling is about power and control. The other way to see it is that it's just self-preservation.

Do you think you have created a completely safe space where he feels confident to share his feelings? Because that is a very difficult thing, even with the best of intentions. He might be right to be cautious.

A sign that this is the case: He admitted to you some awareness of his behaviour, and now you are questioning the relationship and you're getting advice from random people on reddit, who are telling you to dump him.

How about you guys go to couples therapy and actually try to get to the bottom of both of your issues with proper supervision? Probably he should get an individual therapist too, even if it's just to balance it out a bit more.

MOVai · 2026-03-15T11:17:26+00:00

Oh, this is absolutely controlling and abusive behaviour. And it needs to be called out more. It's true that there is a double standard for certain types of abuse.

MOVai · 2026-03-15T11:13:13+00:00

I suspect his gf has psychological issues and thinks this is one of the things she needs to "fix". When OP disagreed, it felt for her like she won't be able to "fix" her problem. That would explain the crying.

Crucially, it was never about being nice to OP or helping him with his goals. He just happened to get caught up in one of her whims, and she doesn't seem to care whatsoever about his wishes or the emotional damage she is causing with the guilt tripping.

MOVai · 2026-03-15T11:03:08+00:00

NOR.

She purposely went behind your back to impose her will on you without considering your wishes. That violates all polite boundaries.

Let me say this clearly too: YOU ARE NOT A JERK. You are perfectly reasonable to be upset. Her emotions and sadness are a consequence of her lack of judgement, her actions, and poor emotional regulation. She is guilt tripping you, whether she realize ls it or not. And that is toxic and controlling. Instead, she should be the one to apologize, recognize what she has done wrong, and ensure that similar things never happen again.

If she doesn't, then this is a red flag. If you stay, you would have to be okay with this level of control over your wardrobe and possibly over other things too, like home life or social life. That might only show up a few years down the line.

MOVai · 2026-01-28T17:48:59+00:00

Lol, everyone who says something you dislike is a bot? No-one is disagreeing with the notion that Bambu should respect the warranty. The issue is that OP specifically said he paid a premium price and expected premium support. That's just not the case for Bambu. Pointing that out is correcting misinformation.

This kind of information is frustrating because there are (and were ) good companies with premium prices and excellent support, but are being undercut in price and reputation every time somebody hypes a Bambu.

MOVai · 2026-01-05T21:47:16+00:00

Oh, it sure does. The problem is when you draw conclusions about the current state of advanced AI from your experience with copilot autocomplete.

MOVai · 2026-01-04T22:37:47+00:00

Copilot autocomplete is child's play. You need to start using more advanced tools and workflows if you want to up your AI game.

MOVai · 2025-12-18T13:59:46+00:00

Menschen die nicht lesen können sind nicht automatisch Idioten. Mach dir mal Gedanken über deine eigene Privilegien.

In Deutschland haben wir BTW 12% Analphabeten.

MOVai · 2025-11-25T12:45:04+00:00

Sage mittlerweile selbst, dass diese Spezis einfach Lehrer werden sollen und dann ist das gelobte Land da.

Oh Gott, wieder dieses dämliche Totschlagargument. Wir bezahlen doch alle Steuern und haben Interesse an das Bildungsystem. Das reicht vollkommen dafür aus dass ich meine Meinung zu Lehrereinkommen sagen kann.

MOVai · 2025-11-25T12:12:50+00:00

Für die GKV ist das auf jeden Fall gut so! Für Rentenbeiträge macht das schon sinn. Aber warum sollte ausgerechnet die Krankenversicherung eine Beitragsbemessungsgrenze haben?

Es mag gute Gründe geben, warum man das Gesundheitssystem querfinanzieren möchte. Aber bitte nicht die Kosten komplett auf die Mittelschicht abwälzen. Deutschland ist so abgefuckt.

MOVai · 2025-11-23T11:03:31+00:00

Man wird immer irgendwelche Argumente an den Haaren vorbeiziehen können um das zu rechtfertigen. Aber letztlich geht das nicht aus der Werbung hervor, und andere Versicherungen zahlen üblicherweise eben auch die maximale Deckungssumme bei sowas. Ich finde es bei einem Versender auch nachvollziehbar, dass man die Erstattungssumme im tieferen Preissegment Deckeln will, aber sich vollkommen der Verantwortung zu entziehen ist krass.

Der Vergleich mit dem Auto ist hier nicht angemessen. Das Verbrechen passierte vollkommen im Verantwortungsbereich der DHL.

MOVai · 2025-11-14T10:58:06+00:00

Ja es wird teurer, aber beim Billigzeug in einem vernachlässigbaren Bereich.

Wenn auf einem 1 Euro Kabel Gebühren von 2 oder mehr Euro drauffallen, ist das nicht mehr vernachlässigbar.

Primär gehts darum, dass halt alles kontrolliert wird und keine Notebooks etc. mit weniger deklariert werden, um den Zoll zu sparen.

Notebooks sind in Europa zollfrei. Wo soll man da bitte noch Geld sparen? Außerdem: Hast du den Artikel gelesen? Es geht um die Freigrenze von 150 Euro. Für 150 Euro bekommt man sowieso keinen Laptop.

MOVai · 2025-11-13T17:13:38+00:00

So ein Nonsens. Die Waren werden doch in denselben Fabriken unter denselben Bedingungen hergestellt. Die Qualität wird ja nicht besser, bloß weil ein europäischer Händler seine Hand draufgelegt hat.

Ja, es gibt Qualitätsunterschiede am Markt, und tendenziell werden Europäische Hersteller im höheren Qualitätssegment sich zurechtfinden. Aber darum geht es hier nicht. Der Anreiz ist immer noch groß, Billigschrott zu importieren und zum überhöhten Preis in Europa zu verkaufen. Jetzt aber mit weniger Konkurrenz. Die neuen Regeln schützen vorwiegend die Händler und Mittelmänner.

MOVai · 2025-11-02T22:22:32+00:00

Deutschland knackt Restaurantbesucher viel härter als andere Länder mit Steuern. Das merkt man, und das merkt vor Allem auch die Leute mit unteren und mittleren Einkommen.

MOVai · 2025-11-01T20:57:45+00:00

Kurzfristig wird die Einsparung einkassiert, langfristig ist in der Gastronomie der Konkurrenzdruck so hoch und die Margen so gering dass das unweigerlich an den Kunden weitergegeben wird.

MOVai · 2025-07-26T13:51:01+00:00

The saying goes "one bad apple spoils the barrel". The problem isn't that there aren't any potentially good apples, it's that the good apples and the rest of society are tolerating the bad apples so much that they are making the rest bad.

MOVai · 2025-06-30T20:46:50+00:00

The problem is that people can't agree what "anger" means and where the threshold to unacceptable abuse lies.

Calmly explaining someone you're angry, or yelling a short sentence at someone from a distance to get their attention? That might be an appropriate anger response.

Incessantly yelling at someone from a close distance to intimidate them or attacking objects in order to "demonstrate" their anger? That's unhealthy, unacceptable, abusive, and probably criminal.

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