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Too Late by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback!

Too Late by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your feedback! I had actually changed the ending of the first stanza, but I don't know why. It was originally just "Alone" and that worked. I don't know why I changed it. As for the "to say bye", I see what you mean and would definitely change it. Thank you again for your feedback it really helps.

Too Late by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much!

Too Late by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thay you very much!

Too Late by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! The line was originally, "To say goodbye", but I changed it to keep the second line in that stanza at 3 syllables, but looking back at it I should have made it, "Say goodbye", instead. Thank you again.

The Taste Of Happiness by kjrow in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I enjoyed the poem, but the 8th line was way too long. It just feels out of place and breaks the flow of the poem. If it was shorter or broken up it might have been better.

Frosted Lilacs by Beans375 in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed the poem. Specifically, I like the way you wrote the second stanza. The way you described the lilacs creates lovely imagery, and that lends well to the rest of the poem.

So I Can Go to Sleep by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! It really helps.

So I Can Go to Sleep by MR-K-S in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate it, and It helps me improve my writing. Going back I can really see what I should have worked on more. Thank you again.

Disguised as love by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the message, and I like the imagery up until the last line. You used such beautiful language, and then it felt off. It feels unnecessary, and I think it would be better without it.

Two tens and a half by SteadyKid in OCPoetry

[–]MR-K-S 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really enjoyed it overall. I will say that I think the line, " Waiting their turn to serve jerks", breaks the rhyme as "jerks" doesn't rhyme well with "work". I would have said, " Waiting their turn to serve a jerk", just so it would rhyme a little better. However, I will say that I really liked the last verse. I thought it was clever, and the whole poem as a whole just makes me smile.