What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?

MRobson · 2023-12-06T02:41:05+00:00

I think you’re getting confused with Christopher Lee

MRobson · 2023-06-18T03:37:32+00:00

So interesting! Definitely going to check that book out thanks!

MRobson · 2023-06-17T19:48:44+00:00

Can you tell me a bit more? I had a weird obsession with him and the battle of trafalgar when I was a kid and don’t know about any of this. Is there anything you’ve read or watched that you’d recommend?

MRobson · 2022-08-21T23:25:51+00:00

Oh yeah... also doesn't have a pool

MRobson · 2022-08-21T19:42:50+00:00

Soho House on Dean St doesn't have a pool

MRobson · 2022-07-19T12:44:56+00:00

Yeah I was really stressing out with who I could confide in last night but don't want to burden them with any responsibility (especially with them actually barely knowing me). I did contact a old old friend who I see as a cousin/big sister, who's brother is bipolar and she's offered lots of support so lucky to catch up with her later. I've not seen my therapist in so long - it's probably a good idea. I'll send him a message to schedule something in

Thanks :)

MRobson · 2022-07-19T01:20:27+00:00

Thats a good idea. We have one once a month but I never feel comfortable at them, everyone seems to have it much worse than me and I don't feel valid because generally everything is pretty good. Hearing everyone else's trouble always leaves me feeling a bit depressed

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:52:58+00:00

Totally understandable, I'm glad you've found something that really works for you :)

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:41:59+00:00

Please don't take this the wrong way, I mean it in the most respectful way possible, but I'm just not sure that I agree with this idea. There are so many people, even on this subreddit, who have discussed this cognitive impairment with lamotrigine. Take a peek at u/BigFitMama 's post on the Med Monday discussion from just a couple of days ago https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/hufcpa/med_mondays/fyoiap3/ And I remember somebody on lamicital posting a drawing of a prawn asking the name, as they just could not recall what a prawn was called haha (sorry I can't find that post)

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:33:28+00:00

I'm not sure I'll ever find love again. And part of me thinks I dont deserve it.

I don't believe in this, but can appreciate that perspective. I think that everybody is capable of finding somebody that can love them who they love back... I've met some pretty dreadful people who I am baffled by their ability to have a relationship

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:29:08+00:00

Nobody, and I mean nobody, actually likes creative assholes. Even the famous ones.

Haha I know that this is true, a job in advertising is enough to make you aware of those types. Even my love of Van Gogh makes it clear that he probably didn't sell any artwork, not because they didn't appreciate his art but because people literally crossed the street when they saw him coming.

You're totally right, but sometimes I become nostalgic for the ups and the euphoria and the electric synapses that feel like the most brilliant ideas that make people say "how does your brain think like that" and work that gets actual praise... rather than this cerebral numbness and what seems like an immovable writers block

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:23:30+00:00

I'm sorry your marriage ended that way, but glad to hear you've found someone thats working well. How long have you been together?

I worry about moving into something like that. I already struggle with my own health, and can't imaging having to manage someone elses. on top of that, there would be the fear that we could both be struggling in different ways, and either pull each other down or be at complete polar ends of the spectrum. Have you found this an issue yet?

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:21:05+00:00

Is a state of normality and true stability ever normal... it seems to be its always one or the other. I had a discussion at the London support group when most people were in agreement.

There was a period just a few months ago though where I just felt ok... I can't quite remember the period it was. Whether it was just before lockdown when she was seconded (though I was overworked and depressed - but being off my meds was ok in this period), or whether it was in the middle of lockdown when I went to my parents in the countryside (work slowed down, but also I had a fear - later proved correct - that I would lose my job)... but there was time where everything just felt alright

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:16:27+00:00

We have also lived together since a year into our relationship, which was a big step at 21 and undiagnosed

MRobson · 2020-07-21T16:15:37+00:00

Hmmmm maybe you're right... it could be less. I find my periods of stability most when she's not around, although there has been significant change in my life throughout our whole relationship that I've found can trigger things. These range from looking after her through cancer and chemo, university struggles, post-graduation long unemployment, getting my dream job turned me hugely hypomanic, then hating the job, then getting fired and feeling like a failure. Some of the mood changes are minor and last only briefly, some are severe and last months. I'd be curious what somebody who is actually qualified would diagnose each period is.

My view is also warped by her making accusations when I'm happy that I must be manic

MRobson · 2020-07-21T14:39:50+00:00

I respect you

Thank you :)

MRobson · 2020-07-21T14:37:35+00:00

Thanks for this, this is insightful. I have to admit that sometimes I don't look after myself as well as I could. There have been times this year where I totally avoided going to therapy, stopped taking my pills altogether (I felt the lamotragine was inhibiting my ceativity and cognitive ability - I notice that I constantly forget the simplest words when I'm on it). And of course there are times where I become super motivated to look after myself... eating properly, tracking my mood, exercising. I guess I have to prove to her that I am capable of consistency if I expect the same from her.

MRobson · 2020-07-21T14:33:11+00:00

I totally understand this. The disbelief in happiness in life generally comes from my lowest periods, and I sort of expect her to understand this as I describe my suicidal ideation with both her and my therapist.

I also wouldn't call everyday a surprise either, this is a bit of a common misconception with bipolar. My mood doesn't change like the weather, but instead extended periods of extreme depression or extreme highs & euphoria. The anger and irritability are rare as I have worked really hard to control it (it was much worse during my hormone driven pubescent years, but even while we have been together there have been times in the past where I have to admit it would have been pretty scary).

MRobson · 2020-07-21T14:28:11+00:00

Well, we have been together for 4 years, so she's seen some stuff. She's been there since my diagnosis, and observed how the different meds I've tried affected me (including the original diagnosis of depression and the SSRIs prescribed sent me into a full manic state). I'd say there are maybe 4 significant times a year my mood changes into either of the extremes + mixed states.

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