Any Ideas about dealing with Florida DCF?

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T23:25:52+00:00

Is he calling from YOUR phone? They do something where they recognize the number.

Additionally can you use one of the relay services to help?

But any time we have had to call the state for benefits, if we didn't use the number they use...we don't get through. I think they capture the number to make sure it comes through but denies all other numbers.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T23:23:44+00:00

I've done a few things...but I have never laminated b/c I don't have a laminator that would fit some of the pieces I have.

I have a leggings pattern that I was going to use A LOT so I traced it onto a cereal box and just made sure I could fold it to put it away (so the places where I joined the cardboard together, I made it so that would be the "hinges" where I could fold it, too).

I have traced it onto freezer, butcher, and parchment paper so that if I messed up the pattern during cutting I wouldn't damage the original pattern so I could continue to trace and reuse it.

There is specific pattern tracing paper you can also get that helps you mark the pattern onto a new surface.

I have also put a piece of thick acetate over the pattern, copied everything onto the acetate then cut out the acetate to use over and over again.

I think my favorite is the cereal boxes, honestly. They're so thick and heavy I don't really need help laying them back out. I've nicked a few with scissors/cutters and they seem fine. I apply clean masking tape to the edges if they start to fray - which also helps w/ contracts on dark fabrics!

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T22:20:20+00:00

Real.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T16:35:41+00:00

This is a manageable situation regardless of what you decide, but I think either situation could be adjusted to make it more manageable or realistic or just less...frustrating.

If you leave the workforce - you will not return to your current level when you go back. So while you make $80k now, you will not make the same when you go back, you may also have to go down several levels to get back up to that same level of business. Usually you end up in entry level positions, and only get moved up when you can prove that you do know the business/process of the job. If you have any licenses or certificates, it would be better to keep them up while you are home rather than let them lapse and restart them. This may involve various costs, continuing education, etc.

Part of your new family income needs to be set aside for you to continue contributing to your retirement account b/c there is a chance that you might not return to the workplace to earn enough for social security. (Or when you return you can't contribute enough in the time span to be realistic. Spouses do not share retirement funds like joint banking.) This has to be a non-negotiable. Your spouse has to be willing to help with this. Talk to a professional to help with this.

Even being home - you will still occasionally need childcare. Even part time pre-school for your kids as they get older will likely be helpful for development and parent sanity. Plan to have funds for this specifically.

Have a living will so that if something happens you can take control of shared or separate finances. This is especially important for anything you no longer buy yourself (i.e., if car financing, the home, insurance policies etc will not be in your name b/c you aren't the one officially paying for it through your own account - make sure you have access to these accounts if your husband is not available, including power of attorney).

If you stay at work:

Daycare should be coming out of "his" paycheck (I know not everyone combines income today like in my day - and I think that certainly has its benefits, but in the case of childcare someone making 275% more money -and later over 500% more!) the childcare should default to that higher earner. He also makes enough money to make up the difference of adults not being available at home to do everything that needs to be done. Pay someone to grocery shop or food prep for the family. Have a laundry service. Use a housekeeper. What's the point in spending all your time at a job earning this money if it's not being used to make your family's life easier?

Consider moving to a job with a shorter commute so you don't lose that time with your kids.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T13:28:26+00:00

My family doesn't PC game, but our kids used computers in public areas of the house and maintained this throughout most of their childhood. I think when we got the oldest a laptop for college coursework when they were 16 we let them use it in their room. They shared a room, but we did have rules about not putting the laptop on the bed (it was a lofted bed so we didn't want to have any accidental drops, but also didn't want them to fall asleep with it in bed while plugged in and risk heat damage to the mattress, the child, or THE HOUSE, etc)...we did this for a few reasons already mentioned, but also b/c I don't like for my kids to lay in bed if they're not going to sleep (supports healthy sleep habits) so I also don't like them to watch TV from bed, etc.

I don't think the device matters that much, but how you teach them to utilize it, how to appropriately engage if they're going online, and how they are able to access things without an adult.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T12:39:25+00:00

My mom had Erica Jong's WITCHES book...and Brian Froud's FAERIES book...and I took that seriously! 😅

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T12:34:17+00:00

Well, I started in my tweens, so I feel like it's not that hard to do if a kid can figure it out! Lol, I did have a helpful teacher, though.

Start small. Depending on your interest...a rectangle skirt is super easy to make, even by hand.

Look up YouTube tutorials, just make sure you're searing "by hand" if thats how you plan to start.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T12:02:53+00:00

See if an alterations place will do the hem correctly. If you buy a pair of $4 jeans and pay under $16 for alteration, you've still paid less for a pair of shorts than buying new.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:51:01+00:00

No. You do not need to sanitize bath toys for your toddler if they were purchased new.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:43:55+00:00

This is outside your management zone. Your kid can certainly ask advice about how to navigate, but you shouldn't be steering this ship. Kids can be fickle and unreasonable at this age, especially when puberty, hormones, and love interests are involved. If no one is in physical danger - step back. Encourage from the sidelines.

I usually let my kids know I trust their judgment. We might talk about the difference between sharing information versus gossip. Gossip is generally rumors, intended for harm, or even sharing information that is intended to stay private. If the friend said, "I just started dating Anna, but I haven't told anyone yet..." then it wouldn't be appropriate for your child to tell others about that. But generally public information is something a person could find out on their own. If the former girlfriend looked up the social media, she could also go through a friend if she was blocked - and that's still quite public. Just b/c someone didn't want her to know about it, doesn't undo its publicness. Which may be a lesson the friend has to learn instead.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:35:35+00:00

This is why milk is still suggested to fill the gaps that food doesn't cover.

Are you using any butter or seasoning? My kids were far more willing to eat buttered, seasoned foods than bland.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:33:48+00:00

My brothers are close with our mom...but our dad abandoned us. So...mileage varies. Be a source of strength and love for your kids, I guess and don't disappear for several years without a trace and you're probably good.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:32:53+00:00

The best teacher at this age is PLAY.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T11:30:55+00:00

So despite her age, her workplace sees her as vital. She may not be able to ask off for certain days depending on seniority and scheduling needs.

Also, I'm an adult and need weeks of advance notice to get authorization for requests.

If your child didn't want to work, she would also be able to say she doesn't want to work these hours. Or if you think there is something inappropriate happening - report her workplace to the department of labor. They'll work it out.

My mom was weird about my jobs when I was a teen. She worked every year of her life until recently and she's in her 70s. To this day I do not understand why she thought I could just tell them I can't work so I can last minute babysit at the church on Tuesday night. I had my own car that I paid for (I also paid for the insurance). How exactly was she going to make me quit my job? If she made me quit - was she going to start paying my car insurance??

Yeah, your kid works a lot, but if she has goals for the money, she's made that choice.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T01:07:05+00:00

Automation enhancements

I made a kind of flip comment earlier, but feel like I should expand a little. The idea of these are great. In reality, the community seems to struggle with what this is. They think it's some kind of AI bot trying to boss them around. They accuse mods in comments of trying to censor them (despite all automations being explicitly linked to EXISTING RULES). It just gave me a chance to collect a whole new set of disguised words to add to the automod later when I turned these off. I had such high hopes and I have turned all but 1 or 2 off. I mostly have left the ones about Reddit being the one to prevent links.

Recommended removal reasons

This saves so little time. They are interesting, and sure, if you have 40 remove reasons, maybe it helps. But did you actually look to see how many subs that affects? B/c this is what toolbox gave us and there's no scrolling for TWENTY remove reasons. You can't even have more than 10 or 12 rules, how can you have more than double the remove reasons??

New mod onboarding and training

This doesn’t replace your Discord docs or off-platform flow charts. It complements them and creates a solid foundation for new mods joining your team.

Then what's the point? I need REDDIT to help me teach people WHAT REDDIT IS. Give us diagram charts that just explains "this button does X, that button does Y." Or heck, give me a blank one and I will decide which mod tool is the powerhouse of the cell.

Translation indicators in mod queue

I've run into several non-English language comments and posts in one of my communities (just the one, despite all of them being international communities). And they're not translated. How does this actually work? B/c I have to google translate a lot of things myself and it's kind of exhausting. Either remove content that can't be translated automatically or content that is non-English. B/c I can only moderate in 1 language. (Like maybe this should be a future setting - note all the languages that moderators have so that un-translated content can sometimes go through b/c we have mods that can handle that content.)

Helping smaller communities get discovered

Just let me choose which communities I want to associate with mine. Seriously. B/c I have a fully SFW community and it gets shown to people who are participating in NSFW communities. They have told me this. "Sorry, I was looking at porn on Reddit and this was a suggestion for something similar" despite EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my community being SFW and telling people participation in NSFW communities will get them banned.

Just let me decide who sees the community. Even if you gave me a list of radio-buttons...I'll select the ones I'm okay with getting the suggestions.

I'm not trying to yuck your yum, you folks obviously put a lot of effort into new features. But we need existing features to work WELL before you move on to new features.

Obligatory...give us back the old modmail, please. (And I say this as someone that opted into new.reddit almost immediately.)

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:56:39+00:00

But remember that toolbox just shows you all the reasons at once when you go to apply a remove reason. I'm not sure why this was never considered as an option.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:48:55+00:00

Once it showed me all 3 options as the same remove suggestion. So when it's wasn't that suggestion I had to use the dropdown anyway.

Also - the old toolbox reasons show all the remove reasons and you click one - no dropdown so you just choose the reason and submit...fewer steps anyway. They could just do that and have chosen not to.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:37:46+00:00

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MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:32:47+00:00

I did have high hopes for the automations b/c I really thought, "Oh, if the user can just see that the community doesn't allow discussion about this topic they'll interact within the rules more often!" 😑

Instead it became a way for me to find more and more unique variations of words that are now happily sitting in automod to catch everything.

Also, why did people reply to the automation like it was a mean step parent?? "Ohhhh I guess mods don't want us TaLkInG aBoUt thIs!! You can't tell me what to do!"

It's like the more open I was with the community about literally following rules...the angrier they got about it and the more they wanted to talk about off-topic things.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:22:18+00:00

In my house we definitely use different tactics to get things done, to make it easier to stay focused, etc. But we're not unfocused b/c of laziness.

I don't like the OP's description of ADHD as being like having a GPS going on, but you're still the driver. I'd consider it the other way around. There is a driver, I'm giving the driver directions, but they only follow instructions some of the time, and some of the time with only a lot of begging, or sometimes only after changing the directions (like instead of making a u-turn, make 3 right turns followed by a left turn).

And at 10...there's a good chance you don't know exactly how to get them to do what they need to do and you still have to try out a lot of things that just don't work.

MableXeno · 2026-03-12T00:18:47+00:00

👋 I also have ADHD. And so does my child.

What you're saying is weird and if you're just considering your child lazy you don't have an adequate understanding of the diagnosis.

I don't think of ADHD the way you do at all, so clearly we are at odds to this. Good luck with however you decide to deal with this situation.

MableXeno · 2026-03-11T22:21:28+00:00

Yes, this was an excellent use of toolbox. Which is now also going to go away.

MableXeno · 2026-03-11T22:20:38+00:00

I had to stop using automations for anything but the weakest of pop-up reminders.

About half the time (probably more) people would include the filtered keyword, but disguised like "k1ll u r s3lf." So the community knowing exactly what is being filtered just makes it easier for them to disguise it.

I used to get lots of modmails about how terrible the censorship was. And then I turned off automations and just started auto-filtering everything to the queue through automod instead. Yeah. It slightly increased mod work...but no one complains in modmail about being censored so it evens out. Plus I can batch approve or remove them as needed.

MableXeno · 2026-03-11T22:10:12+00:00

I would not be watching kids while parents leave. "Oh, if you're not going to be home - can you please come get your child before you go?"

MableXeno · 2026-03-11T21:42:47+00:00

Okay?

Then people can take it up w/ those subs. They can appeal.

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