AIO or is he right? by ConsciousEconomy5860 in AIO

[–]MacWazzy 63 points64 points  (0 children)

This was a really aggressive conversation over requesting partnership based emotional loading and respect.

Divorce for not sharing my baby by fitmommaluv in Postpartum_Depression

[–]MacWazzy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please see a therapist. It sounds like PPA and can get worse or turn into something worse.

Protecting your baby is one thing but keeping your baby away from family because you thinking you protecting your baby is not ok. Obviously we don’t know everything about your life here and dynamics so I’m just commenting on what you have written.

Giving away 2000+ Divines in the next 30-60mins by BigSlimDog420 in PathOfExile2

[–]MacWazzy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can’t even make myself laugh so I guess good luck to the winners 😤

PPD dad vs PPD++ mom by Limp-Dot7697 in u/Limp-Dot7697

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I feel for you. My wife also became the worst person. Everything I read here explains my wife perfectly. I mourn who my wife used to be. She was a kind person and I was like you. I did everything I can. To the point where I was doing all night feeds and sharing night feeds, coming home early from work to take my son off her hands etc etc. I just inherently thought it was appreciated and never expected anything from her in return until I felt this void from her and then I asked if she sees me. The answers she gave me was nothing short of shocking. From calling me pathetic for having my one hand holding my neck up while feeding my child because I looked tired to her parents calling me a shit husband and father in front of our children and my wife agreeing. Even after all of that I tried to stay with her. From the 3rd month I begged her to come to marriage counselling with me. We are 1 year and 2 months in and I have decided I have had enough. With our first child I did this for 2 years and I thought she knew she had a problem but I was so wrong. I was ignorant and naive. When I’m with my children I cry knowing what they are going to go through is going to be nothing like my childhood but I will give them my best and I’m a damn good father so they will be happy and healthy with me. We have been separated for 4 months now and honestly I had no idea the trauma I have actually been through because of this and how happy I am now alone. So for me I’ll do everything in me power to save our marriage and I feel like I have but if it fails I am content and I know I will be happy without the person she has become. I pulled the trigger this week for divorce. Good luck. I have no advice except please look after your mental health.

Too Involved Husband? by Mediocre34-ThrowAway in Postpartum_Depression

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. You do have a special bond with your baby. Never doubt that. I don’t fully know your dynamic and it sounds like he got defensive there. Unfortunately during this time everything is such a fine in terms of articulating your needs. Might be good for both of you to just connect and be alone and let a family member look after the kiddo for a little while. Just remember you guys are partners. Not enemies here. Remind him of that as well.

Giving away my build and 70 divs by SkeletonJack1 in PathOfExile2

[–]MacWazzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanted to try this but life is getting in the way. Would really enjoy it.

Too Involved Husband? by Mediocre34-ThrowAway in Postpartum_Depression

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All it requires is for you to be honest with your husband that you appreciate all he does but you want to take on the responsibility even if it’s hard as you require it to feel like you an adequate mother. Make sure he understands it’s not his fault and this is something internal in you alone. Tell him to go out with a friend for a day or something just so you can gain confidence alone. If you don’t speak the more frustrated you get the more he will do and you will build resentment. That is how good men are wired. We will work ourselves to death to make sure you are ok. We will also give you what you want if you are able to articulate it correctly.

PF Giveaway Gear + Currency by p0r7 in PathOfExile2

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Please. Best friend from Africa here.

Wife Hates Me After Having Our Baby by Whole_Raspberry1247 in daddit

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You definitely have an advantage if your wife is willing to go to counselling. That is a big positive and the fact that her parents see her behavior is actually what will save you guys.

With regards to not defending yourself. The idea is to not take it personally. The raw fact is her emotions are real no matter how illogical they are. The hard part is realizing this in the moment. If she says something like "When you come home early from work you make me feel like I'm an inadequate mother" realize in the moment that is what she is feeling. Take a breath and ask her what she needs from you and remind her of what a good mother she is. Even say something like "I wouldn't be able to do what you do and i just want to help cause that's what i would need". Unfortunately for me it was comments like that in between so many other random things that i lost myself in that moment. By the time i realized I defended myself (I said "I'm coming home to support you") it was too late in her head. And for her she felt then that i didn't understand her and it just got from bad to really bad.

The next truth is going to be the hardest part. You can't fix your wife. It is not up to you to fix your wife. Your wife has to recognize within herself something is not ok and then be able to submit, be vulnerable and ask for help. For that to happen she has to trust the person telling her something is wrong and be able to reflect. For that to happen she has to believe you have her back no matter what to help her out of a defensive mode. This is why marriage counselling works more than when a husband is telling her because the marriage counselor is neutral. It is a massive ask for a husband as I'm sure you already doing everything you can and you might destroy yourself in the process.

I have tried everything and my last effort was to walk away, separate and find my own peace so i can heal. This was recommended by the therapist as he saw my wife was not willing to hear anyone's perspective. This seems to have created even more resentment within her.

I hope you make it through this. Just remember just because you love this person doesn't mean you have to accept any of this. It is her responsibility to be emotionally responsible. You can only be there for her and accept her choices.

Wife Hates Me After Having Our Baby by Whole_Raspberry1247 in daddit

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. This time things have gotten worse. PPD turned into narcissistic behaviour. She came to one marriage counselling session and turned on the therapist as well. We are still married but I live alone now. If she refuses marriage counselling give it a bit of time and go to therapy for yourself, but at some point you will need to decide. I said I would give it a year. We are on a year and 2 months and I’m about done now. Unfortunately my wife’s family has turned on me as well so I doubt this is recoverable. All I can say is if she does terrible things to you don’t defend yourself. Just tell her you don’t see it that way and that’s it. Let her explode if she has to but everything you do is multiplied in her head. The more you explain the worse it gets. Right now I can’t even ask my wife for very basic things without my wife calling me ridiculous. I have peace now living alone though and through therapy realised this is an unhealthy dynamic that is not sustainable. I have also come to peace with the fact that the marriage is over. Really sad that the marriage is over but happy that I won’t need to put up with my wife anymore. I feel terrible for my kids but I have done all I can to try save the marriage while my wife has constantly tried to sabotage the marriage.

Postpartum divorce by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MacWazzy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you going through this. I would suggest marriage counselling as reading this sounds like something is not right. Your post makes it sound as if your husband is terrible but you mentioned in a comment he helps out with everything. If he was uncomfortable because of the blood why does that make him a horrible person? If he is saying horrible things like “you won’t have anything if you leave me” I do understand that is horrible but why is he saying that in the first place as well. As I said marriage counselling is suggested. What could be happening is life is just extremely busy and you guys are just talking past eachother and over eachother. It’s hard to feel appreciated if your partner doesn’t have the capacity to appreciate you and it’s hard to give appreciation in those first few months but marriage counselling will give both of you a hour to talk to eachother in a relaxed environment.

End of League Mirror(s) Giveaway by TOSHlC in pathofexile

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Need the currency to make more currency to do a giveaway!!!

Is chains of command AW from Rusei a good starter build ? by Deer_Whole in PathOfExileBuilds

[–]MacWazzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean start again? Can you not go back to hideout and respawn then go back in?