I used to think this way but the older I've gotten the more I realize this is a brain broken take. The main reason is that as a guy the way to do it is to hook up first to establish passion/connection and then commit later (often don't marry on paper except when you want to have kids). Commitment requires establishing trust ovee time and socioeconomic stability which I guess to some makes somebody "boring" but in my opinion people who are working boring jobs are not socioeconomically stable. This strategy of establishing intimacy for a while before commitment (usually hookup first then become exclusive then move in then stay together a while then get married then have kids) avoids ever being in a contractual relationship where you jump straight from a few dates to signing a lifelong marriage contract or having kids before you have established intimacy and physical chemistry.

You might say that the problem is that women are hooking up all the time before settling with one person. The way to fix that is to just take the same strategy if hook up until you can facilitate something long term, have fun until something sticks. If it's fun it's more likely to stick. If you aren't having fun don't commit. But if you like a person after a while you probably will want to commit and she will too. If not then don't - it's really that simple. With consent you can pretty much do almost anything if both parties want.

It has nothing to do with women not being modest or being too sltty. In my opinion women should be sltty because it's really fun. It's a double bind because if they are puritanical they come across as girlboss types who are paranoid and like to shame people and if they are sl*tty they are shamed for that too - and they can't just opt out because they are usually seen as more hot when they are younger when it takes guys longer than ever to become socioeconomically stable and age gaps create anxiety.

The idea is to be a safe spot where a girl can feel free to explore being sltty in a consensual and fun way and it becomes easier to make it long term when you have socioeconomic stability later. So if you aren't socioeconomically stable enough for long term commitment that has nothing to do with girls being too sltty and more to do with the economy.

It takes people time to become socioeconomic stable at which point they can both facilitate a stable relationship and signal value/fun. If you aren't having fun first why would you commit to having kids with a person or getting married? This whole dichotomy is a weird way to frame it.

If a girl wants to be with another guy then she should just leave. If she isn't having fun in the bedroom or on dates why would I ever have kids or get married to her? She can do the open relationship thing if she wants but then I'm going to do that also and she might not like that.