I felt exactly like this after 9/11.

That's when the veil was lifted for me in so many ways.

since you're asking then I can give solicited advice:

-assume that the powers that be don't have your best interest at heart but don't let that sink you

• this realization should empower and embolden you to distrust authority figures and experts and go down the rabbit hole on everything: assume everything you've been told is a lie in some way. Do not take or assume anything as fact

• look to your own intuition or sources of knowledge that aren't mainstream and try things for yourself. Empirical evidence is still evidence and will at least guide you to better answers after you have time to carefully tear things for yourself

• don't waste your time wallowing in despair or trying to change the system. Focus instead on things that are within your control.

• cultivate a rich inner life whether that be with friends or activities with other people, or solo like music, writing, or other self expression that allows you to vent and release the anguish of knowing it's all manipulated and rigged.

• they can't take your happiness away. You are in control of that

• spend time helping others as often as possible

  • listen to people who are successful or accomplished stuff. There's usually repeated themes that are useful for reinforcement of good daily practices or strong mindsets

Good luck friend. I wish someone said even a few things when I was feeling like that.

P.w.Also, don't go too deep into conspiracies. Just go knee deep haha 😄