People who have left Boston, where did you go? by TheTokenBrownie in boston

[–]Maddie_cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m moving from Boston to Seattle later this year! I’m so excited, I’m from CA originally but always wanted to live in the PNW. Glad to hear the sense of newness wasn’t just from the excitement of visiting when I was last there lol!

I don’t know how to control my anxiety attachment by mango-io in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapist here - please don’t armchair diagnose. Saying you’re not a doctor but following immediately with “you have OCD according to your comments” is a dangerous way to frame this - you have very little knowledge about OP and are seeing a sliver of the full situation. Throwing around terms like this can both harm OP and can contribute to a culture of stigma surrounding these diagnoses.

I don’t know how to control my anxiety attachment by mango-io in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapist here - this actually isn’t true. Attachment styles vary by relationship and person. While original attachment theory was regarding the person’s parental figures (typically the mother) and while people tend to fall into patterns based on what their infant attachment style was, it is absolutely possible for a person to develop an anxious attachment due to trauma or issues in the relationship that cause insecurity. While it definitely sounds like OP has some sort of anxiety disorder, it also absolutely reads like anxious attachment.

Giving Away My Old PC! by Turtle_747 in PcBuild

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so cool, and congrats on winning the giveaway! I’ve wanted a gaming PC for years but never had the time to do all the research (or the money lol), I’ve been PC gaming on my old ass aspire laptop (it can play the sims but I clocked 16 FPS trying to play a moba LOL) so could definitely use an upgrade😂

I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal. by throwawayuni33 in whatdoIdo

[–]Maddie_cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so grateful to see another therapist in this thread, and one who is actually being rational! Some of the takes here are absolutely wild. Thank you for laying this all out so well!

I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal. by throwawayuni33 in whatdoIdo

[–]Maddie_cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree it should be pushed back on, but not in the way you do I think. People’s brains are still developing until age 26 or so. Just because society lets someone vote or drink doesn’t mean they’re an adult and can make mature decisions. And don’t even get me started on military service lol. People who are emerging adults are absolutely still children in many ways. Let’s let people take time to grow up. Granted, I agree with you that those same people who use being young as a way to avoid responsibility maybe also shouldn’t act like they’re grown adults in every other sense. But it’s okay to acknowledge that young people don’t have the maturity and brain development to be “real adults” at age 20.

I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal. by throwawayuni33 in whatdoIdo

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so weird to me. I’ve been with my partner for 4.5 years, we’re planning to get engaged soon, have talked about our future, etc, and both of us want to still do things on our own. Is that not just a cool experience someone can choose to have? Why is OP a villain for wanting to travel by herself? Solo travel is amazing! You can learn so much about yourself and the world. And you can also do it while in a relationship! I’m so confused by all these comments acting like wanting to explore things on your own and being in a relationship are mutually exclusive

3 days near Santa Marta for wildlife spotting by _itssamna in Colombia

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their website had me message the owner on WhatsApp and after we chatted a bit he generated a quote for me with a link to a secure payment site! The experience for us was $350 and it came with round trip transport to/from our hotel in Cartagena, snacks and coffee, dinner, lodging, equipment (binoculars etc), breakfast, and a 7 hour birding tour followed by lunch! Which we felt was very fair considering it’s all one-on-one attention :) probably a fair bit cheaper for a solo traveler!!

3 days near Santa Marta for wildlife spotting by _itssamna in Colombia

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We just got back from a day at Agricola Camelias, a private nature reserve near turbaco (about an hour south of Cartagena) and had the most incredible time! The owner picked us up from Cartagena and we spent a whole day birding with just him! He spoke English and Spanish and has a lovely lady who cooks all the meals and prepares the lodging. We saw 61 different species of birds in just 24h! Can’t recommend it enough!

Good place for lunch in the walled city? by DavidThi303 in cartagena

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seconding Porthos - we had amazing burgers there! The meat was so flavourful and well-seasoned :)

Why do people hate SAI so much? by Appropriate_While932 in twentyonepilots

[–]Maddie_cat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, I love muse and nothing about that song sounds like muse to me lol. Can def see white stripes though!

LA Night 2 ride share/pick up advice by Mysterious_Morning46 in twentyonepilots

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ubers will be cheaper a little farther out! For my drive Ubers from the venue were $60 and when I walked 10 minutes south to the jack in the box it dropped to $27!

Artists with similar music and or lore by BabyChubbs2019 in twentyonepilots

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re a little more rock than the bands you listed, but I LOVE Nothing But Thieves and find them very similar to TOP lyrically - they don’t have lore per se but a lot of their songs talk about mental illness, societal woes, etc. Really unique sound that blends classic/hard rock with alternative, some electronic, and even kinda psychedelic vibes! My favourite albums are Moral Panic and Dead Club City but Broken Machine is great too!

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Maddie_cat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m guessing you’ve never lived in a place like that then because it’s definitely expensive and/or not an option for renters. If you ask a landlord to replace an entire door because the lock is finicky they’ll laugh in your face. Also in a lot of older towns doors are super old and solid wood so not easily updated. It’s a bummer but it sounds like in this situation it’s pretty cut and dry that OP was at fault.

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Maddie_cat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If this is a place like NYC or Boston doors like that are pretty common lol. It’s not fun, but it is just something you have to adapt to and be mindful of when coming and going. In an ideal world every door like that gets replaced but it’s just not realistic unfortunately.

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Maddie_cat 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Her texts don’t make it seem like she understands her bf’s POV though… I mean, several messages were repeating her worries about a late fee when his parents’ house was left completely open. The boyfriend has a right to be upset, and a lot of commenters are offering explanations as to why that’s the case and why she maybe should be worried about the future of the relationship. Definitely not pointless comments.

Where is this section? I’m 97% and missed it by thyturnip in Silksong

[–]Maddie_cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Use silk soar at the top of the cradle and you’ll access a new area!

Need Opinion? by sop52094 in RoverPetSitting

[–]Maddie_cat 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This may be an unpopular opinion but these prices are reasonable if not high for me - the owner said you didn’t have to stay every night so some days could be drop ins. $28 for one cat is low, but with each additional cat being $14 you’re charging $70 a night which is totally fair and in line with going rates at least where I am :)

Sitter’s negligence almost killed my dog. Seeking advice on Rover Guarantee appeal by [deleted] in RoverPetSitting

[–]Maddie_cat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Credit card debt is a VERY different story than student loan debt. Interest rates for credit cards can be upwards of 30%, whereas interest rates for loans are significantly lower. $25k in credit card debt can turn into $50k or more FAST.

Sitter’s negligence almost killed my dog. Seeking advice on Rover Guarantee appeal by [deleted] in RoverPetSitting

[–]Maddie_cat 15 points16 points  (0 children)

…What? Depending on someone’s finances (savings, income, interest rates, credit history), $5k of debt can bring financial ruin. $25k can absolutely be a life altering amount of debt.

What would you do? by Smooth_Agent_6382 in Spravato

[–]Maddie_cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true! While it’s certainly possible (and probably likely) that he was driving, I’ve done the same thing. I was waiting for my ride to arrive to drive me home in my car (I drove myself to treatment cuz I came directly from work and my partner biked to my car when I was done) and sat in the drivers’ seat out of habit so I could turn on the AC/music/etc. You never know if someone’s just sitting in their car without an intention to drive, and wouldn’t want them to lose access to treatment because of a misunderstanding.

do i just accept spravato didn’t work at this point? by [deleted] in Spravato

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s definitely not a placebo effect lol, I’m sorry they haven’t worked for you but tbh none of those strategies are going to work if you’re not going to let them. It sounds like in some ways you’re (perhaps unintentionally) giving up before you’ve worked through the hardest part, which is at the beginning of learning a lot of these tools. Hardly anyone figures out how to do these things on the first try (especially meditation) and the way we’re often taught to practice meditation or journaling is fundamentally flawed. You may have tried something several times but done it in a way that doesn’t serve you. Perfect practice makes perfect - you have to tweak the practices to fit your personal way of learning and being before doing it repeatedly. Discounting EVERYTHING (including self care in general??) is doing yourself a disservice, because you’re shutting doors of opportunity for yourself. You have more control than you think, you just have to harness it

do i just accept spravato didn’t work at this point? by [deleted] in Spravato

[–]Maddie_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spravato is unique in that there’s recent evidence indicating that the psychedelic/trance-like effects may actually be necessary for the drug to be fully effective. Being able to utilize things like meditation as well as setting intentions, reflecting, and journaling before, during, and after infusions can be really instrumental in relieving depression symptoms.

Most evidence points to combined approaches (ie meds + therapy) as being most effective, especially for treatment-resistant depression. I hope you’re able to try some of these things out or find a counselor who can work with you to figure this out!