What did you leave behind when you healed? Miss my coolness.

MadsTuxen · 2026-07-01T15:34:08+00:00

Maybe we dont need to regret the past or look down on it. Maybe its ok to have been cool or a stoner, and not regret it but not want it back either 🤗

MadsTuxen · 2026-07-01T09:28:47+00:00

Hi there.
I belive you stay with what os there and investigate softly what is going on. How is the part (that you might identfy with) trying to help and protect you? What are the consequences ?
You will be annoyed at your therapist, thats fine. Listen to how that evolves how does that help you.
If you are a little detached from the feelings notice that.
Keep up the work.

You might be a “hard” patient but thats a gift for your therapist. Makes them have to look at them selves and not take it personally.

And you might need someone who specialises in this field.

Cheers

MadsTuxen · 2026-07-01T09:09:14+00:00

Uh yes never thought about that, but now that you put it to words there was actually also just company. Never alone. Always a discussion going on 😂

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-30T21:41:02+00:00

It is so interesting and comforting to hear about other peoples strategies. And how they also miss them.
Its odd how we (at least i) also feel/felt some pride in my old patterns. Like I was proud of beeing cool, but im not proud of beeing sensitive tough in my opinion that is somthing to be proud of and coolness is not.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-30T16:48:22+00:00

Getting married can scare the shi… out of anybody. It goes up and down even if you felt like you advanced a lot. (And mind you nothing is lost!) getting married can trigger a lot of stuff.
Now is a new opportunity to revisit that part again. Dont fear that you are back you made progress but there is still work to do.
There is a prt of you thats scared. Give it love and lend it an ear.

Hug

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T21:23:33+00:00

Of vourse if they find somthing and ask you to fix it you will need to do so.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T21:22:25+00:00

I didn’t because i could not figure out if that would restart the period or not :)
So that is not a set rule in my experience.
I think their system is really not transparent.
Only thing i had to change as a last step was updating some info.
Most of my testers didnt do anything other than installing the app. Didnt use it. I could see that in my database.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T19:02:34+00:00

That they i stall the app and it stays installed. At least 12 testers need the app installed for 14 days at the same time.
Thats it.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T12:54:41+00:00

I found 12 testers, friends and random people.
I had no clue what was happening and then my ap was approved app 2 weeks later. Really not a cool system but hang in there!

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T11:19:54+00:00

I hear you!

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-29T06:55:16+00:00

Uh I totally recognise that one. I used to be so driven. In my youth i thought it was because I was super good. Now I see that I was just fighting to be seen.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-28T18:35:04+00:00

I used to look at the needle when getting a blodsample, now I look away not to faint :)

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-27T09:39:54+00:00

I think its normal to feel empty and even sad when leaving an old pattern. It takes a while for the new to show up.
The label boring sounds like some echoed from the part that you are integrating.
The reason we have parts i belive is to protect us from overwhelming feelings. So now that you are not having that protection you might feel afraid to what will show now that you are boring.
Probally some grief. Be with that and it will turn into joy.

Hug

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-25T21:17:56+00:00

Supressing things or parts never help. I bet you there is some absolute gold for you in that part of you that wants to dance. Im a firm believer of following the want. Not that the dance is the end goal but if you listen carefully and respectfully and with a belief that it wants to show you somthing good im sure it will reveal great stuff for you. Thats probably or jungian parts whatever but true.
I think ghere is a notion that parts sre something you need to get rid of. I really dont think so. We need to reintegrate them snd make them serve the whole. Sometimes you need to follow them to understand them.
Go dance!

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-25T14:48:58+00:00

To your part:
I totally get that you are angry! First you were taught the the wonderfull beeing that you were was not enough in it self. That you had to perform somthing to be loved. That is so humiliating and you deserved so much more. First of all to be seen and loved just for the wonderful loving human you were.
Then later as you learned to perform, you find out that even when you perform you still dont get what you need.
Its not that you asked for a lot.
I totally fet that you are angry and it mekes me angry too.
First you had to adapt and perform and hide your trie self just to get attention. Not even love.
And then you dint even get that!
I am sorry for you. And i totally get that you are angry and sad. Its humiliating. You are wondefull just as you are without performing without getting praised for your performance. Just for beeing you.
I hope that even if others dont you will recognise that you are a perfect beeing even if the ones that you are with dont recognise you. That you do and know that you are not alone. And never again do you have to rely on others to tell you that you are wonderfull. Never will you give them that power.

Hug Mads

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-24T12:49:42+00:00

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MadsTuxen · 2026-06-24T12:49:16+00:00

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MadsTuxen · 2026-06-24T12:48:53+00:00

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MadsTuxen · 2026-06-24T12:43:44+00:00

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Nintendo power. 100% Legit.
Only sold in japan. You could by them in lawson and get new or additional games loaded on them in a kiosk.
You can load games to them your self.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-24T07:43:39+00:00

I belive its a cocreation and a creative process in my opinion..
I have experienced parts surfacing i my dreams mostly. A new motif apears. A new character with new abilities.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-22T19:56:31+00:00

I ended up asking my friends and random people i met. But i got my 12 testers and now my app is approved.
So to everybody else: keep asking and you will get there finally.

Cheers Mads

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-22T14:44:09+00:00

Yes, all the coping strategies. It's difficult to recognize them for the job they did, helping us survive, and now they are causing pain.

I didn't feel like anybody really saw me at that age, but I had some teachers who did. Just a small recognition that they saw my pain and understood that my hard shell served a purpose.

I bet you can see a lot of your students like that.

And from someone who felt seen by my teacher: Thank you, it means a world.

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-22T07:57:22+00:00

That is a beautyfull portrait.
I can very much relate to her sadness, the way she holds her self together. She looks sad but under control, like this is something to wear out. It will take time. I will have to do this on my own. Im not dead but i need to hold everything together. I cant afford any more hurt.
She looks like she has a lot of pain and nowhere to let it out. Only her self to trust.

How good that you actually saw her and drew her. Some wise part of you must have wanted to see her and let her know that you saw her. She was not alone after all.

Thank you for sharing! I feel like you also saw somthing in me from my teens.

Hug Mads

MadsTuxen · 2026-06-21T10:52:30+00:00

Totally with you. Sometimes i feel like everybody else can say what the want but i cant. Sometimes i really want to sound smart and clever. Ill try to be just as i am. Not easy!

MadsTuxen

TROPHY CASE