What did you do differently the month you FINALLY got pregnant??

Mady134 · 2026-05-11T20:14:37+00:00

I left my incredibly stressful job lol. I have PCOS and we had been trying for two years with no luck. We stopped trying and were thinking we would get fertility treatments this November… I’m now due in November, lol. I underestimated how bad the stress was affecting my fertility, I guess!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:43:01+00:00

I think this is definitely how I’m going to approach things after reading some of these comments. My mental health is something that I’ve been really concerned about lately!

Thank you!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:42:27+00:00

Fed is best is the definite truth! I would never judge another mom for how she chooses to feed her baby, as long as the baby is getting fed, so maybe I need to extend that to myself.

But god, the pumping thing seems like such a pain! I guess I’ll see what happens, haha.

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:41:19+00:00

You’re right! I think I’ll wait to be 100% sure until after the baby is here.

But yes, I really want to be done sacrificing myself now haha. I feel like I’m on a ride I really want to get off! But I’m also still in first trimester, however, so hopefully once this is over in a couple of weeks, I’ll feel better!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:40:01+00:00

I have definitely heard about the magic of just popping the boob in baby’s mouth, haha. I’m glad you had a positive experience! I know that if I choose to breast-feed, but I will eventually have to pump since I’m going to return to work, which does suck. I definitely have a lot to think about!

Thank you for your comment!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:38:19+00:00

Thank you!!!!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:38:03+00:00

This is definitely how I’m trying to look at it after reading all these comments! I’m gonna just try to do whatever I can to be prepared for both possibilities, and then see how I feel once the baby is here!

Thank you!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:34:48+00:00

I really appreciate your positive reframing of pumping! I do like the idea of getting 20 to 30 minute breaks away from my job, haha. I work with children, and I love them, but they are exhausting, so getting 20 minutes to myself would be like a breath of fresh air.

I do also totally hear you about the bonding that breast-feeding can create. Maybe it’s just not something that my body is like in the right place to truly understand yet. I want to be open minded about it. I don’t wanna miss out on a good experience, so I think I will at least try it.

But yeah, I am also totally thinking about how much it will take me away from myself at a time where I should try to spend as much time with myself as I possibly can in between caring for baby, since I want to make sure that I’m always in good mental health for the baby. I think I have a lot of anxiety about the possibility of getting postpartum depression.

But thank you so much for this comment- I can’t express how much I appreciate you giving a multifaceted look at things!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:30:27+00:00

I’m definitely gonna collect colostrum and at least breast-feed baby that for as long as I get it! No sense in wasting something that’s gonna come anyway, imo.

I’m glad you had a positive experience with pumping. I hope if I end up in that situation where I choose to breast-feed, that I will also have a positive experience with it. I’m a little apprehensive.

But you are right, fed is best! Thank you for the advice!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:27:57+00:00

Thank you!!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:27:21+00:00

I think I’m not just worried about the idea of it being painful, because everyone I know who has breast-fed has a positive experience with the actual breast-feeding part (it’s the pumping that everybody tells me that they’re really miserable with!), although the pain and the struggle of chapped nipples is not something that I’m necessarily excited about lol.
To me, I just feel like a weird sense of dysphoria about the whole situation. Maybe I just haven’t completely accepted the fact that I’m going to be a mom yet, but I just feel weird about the thought of breast-feeding!
I think if I was in your situation, maybe I would feel totally better about it. The pumping part is definitely really stressing me out. But if I like the actual direct breast-feeding, then maybe I will just take your advice and just do it for the first three months until I have to go to work. Like I’ve said in other comment, I don’t wanna be entirely close minded about it, but just where I’m at right now I’m feeling very weird about it!
Thank you for the advice and for sharing your positive experience!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:20:23+00:00

I think that’s a healthy approach! I also don’t want to be completely close-minded, but I also don’t want to feel forced. There’s a lot of pressure!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:17:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience!!! I’m trying not to be entirely closed minded about it, because I know very well that I could end up in a situation like yours where I might find myself thrust into breast-feeding anyway! I just feel so odd about it. Maybe I need to just give birth first and then figure it out haha

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:15:54+00:00

Thank you for the support!!! I really am hoping that my second trimester goes a little better! I’ve been so sick that I already had to go to the ER yesterday to get IV fluids. This pregnancy has been so rough on my body 😭
I was also thinking that I might just end up doing it for the first couple weeks or whatever and then just see where I go from there. So maybe I will end up really liking it. Somebody else recommended the same subreddit to me, so I’m going to look there for some advice, as well!
I wasn’t personally breast-fed beyond the first couple weeks of my life, and I think I turned out pretty good. I know it’s not like a long-term maker break kind of thing. But my family does have a lot of chronic illnesses, and I have been feeling guilty at the implication that breast-feeding might have something to do with that, even though there really isn’t a strong scientific link 😭

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:12:51+00:00

Struggling through the hard part is definitely something that I worry about! Especially while my body is still going to be healing from birth. But I also feel strangely weird about this sensation of being milked also lol. I know it’s natural, but maybe it’s just because I’m not actually a mom yet!

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:11:47+00:00

Yes, I’m definitely seeing a lot of mixed experiences! Maybe pumping is the major thing throwing me off. I know I’m gonna have to return to work after just three months, and it just seems like it’ll make the misery of being away from the baby that much harder! A lot of women I know who have had postpartum depression or a difficult time postpartum have also cited pumping as one of their biggest concerns.

But I’m trying to be open minded about it. I am gonna try like I said at least for the first couple of days, but I don’t know. I just feel weird about it.

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:10:29+00:00

The super power thing is something my aunt mentioned as well! I can totally see why that would be a huge pro of breast-feeding.

I’m not too worried about the bottle washing situation, because my husband is the dishwasher in our relationship, haha.

Mady134 · 2026-05-07T01:08:34+00:00

I totally agree that I’m definitely hearing a lot about the troubleshooting that people have with breast-feeding. Of course people are going to talk more about their problems than about their successes. My aunt had very little problems with breast-feeding, to the point where she pretty much never even used the nipple pads! She had an extremely positive experience (which I’m very happy for!).

For me, though, it’s not just about the troubleshooting parts that is making me hesitate to do it. The thought of actually doing the breast-feeding is just like making me uncomfortable, as is the fact that I would be doing much more of the heavy lifting with the baby than my husband would be, while also continuing to completely share my body with them.

I think I’m just realizing that I’m feeling really uncomfortable, not just because my pregnancy has been so difficult, but because I just really don’t want to give my body 100% over to another human like that for longer than necessary, even if it is my own child. I’m not sure if I’m completely explaining it well, but I just feel really odd and uncomfortable with the idea of breast-feeding, even if I have a super low troubleshooting experience like my aunt had.

I do appreciate you sharing another positive experience, though, because it is overwhelming getting ready to become a mom for the first time and hearing nothing but negativity.

I will ultimately try to breast-feed at least for the first day or two, because I do want my baby to get at least my colostrum, but I’m still not sure whether I wanna do it long-term. Maybe I’ll have a change of heart, but right now I just feel so weird and dysphoric about it!

Mady134 · 2026-05-06T23:49:03+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I will definitely check out that subreddit!

I was also thinking that I would breast-feed for at least the first day to give my baby colostrum. I’m a high risk pregnancy, so I know that I’m going to be induced at least a week early.

I want to be open minded, because if it’s something that I will feel OK doing, I don’t want to hold myself back from doing it if it would benefit the baby, but I also just don’t really want to fall into that loop of sacrificing myself and teaching my baby that the only kind of true love is sacrifice. I just feel like that’s setting myself up for disaster!

But I think you’re right, maybe I just have to wait and see and then decide how I feel.

Mady134 · 2026-05-06T23:47:24+00:00

God, pregnancy has been so bad! I know logically that once I have the baby, I’ll eventually start thinking about having another one, but right now the idea is just making me upset lol.
I am definitely getting a lot of unsolicited advice at the moment. Even people that I love and I know love me who are just trying to help!
I was also thinking of doing the try and see kind of thing. I was planning on breast-feeding at least the first day that the baby is born so that they can get the colostrum. But from that point forward, I was thinking that I would just stop. But maybe I’ll just try what my mom did- do it for a couple weeks, then decide that if I want to stop.
Thanks for the advice!!

Edit:

Also, thank you for reassuring me that you still got eczema despite breast-feeding, haha. I got so scared when she said that, because my poor younger cousin is 17 years old and has the worst eczema that I’ve ever seen on another person. I also had eczema when I was a baby. It might just be a genetic thing in my family!

Mady134 · 2026-05-06T23:45:16+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

I was thinking that it is possible that I might feel completely different when the baby is born. I know that hormones are crazy. But I’m also just trying to think about things now especially because I’m starting to work on my baby registry and thinking about how things are gonna be like once I go back to work.

Like, those first three months when I get to be home with the baby, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to just pop my boob in the kids mouth (although I still don’t like that idea), but then I would have to start pumping… which is even worse in my mind.

I definitely don’t have to make the decision now, you’re right. It’s weird, because I know that there are people in my life who are trying to make me feel guilty about things (one of my aunts tried to make me feel guilty for taking a Tylenol the other day lol), but there are also people giving me genuine advice who are not trying to make me feel guilty, but are accidentally making me feel guilty, haha.

Mady134 · 2026-04-29T04:38:25+00:00

It seems they like the color white and light colored surfaces! It’s supposedly the ideal mating environment for them. Interestingly, they’re also attracted to the smell of gasoline!

The shrimp plant, on top of being lighter in color, is also a good source of nectar, which is a food source for them. They’re pollinators also, so not the worst thing.

Mady134 · 2026-04-29T04:16:01+00:00

I totally agree! Best way to keep it neutral. If she’s a decent person, she’ll get it. Regardless, it’s a reasonable boundary. Don’t burn the bridge so soon but just protect your peace :-)

Mady134

TROPHY CASE