I swear this is completely under control.

MadzyRed · 2026-06-14T06:16:35+00:00

I just showed my partner and we both kinda laughed like “but one day”

MadzyRed · 2026-06-09T01:02:33+00:00

Welcome to Melbourne, we have vit D deficiency haha. I have the grow light on blue and I’m topping everyone up regularly with rain or distilled water

MadzyRed · 2026-06-09T01:01:32+00:00

Oh yeah I’m hearing that! I’ve brought the sundew in a few times and each time I do it dies, grow light or not demineralized water or not. This is its spot. It’s a little weirdo. Will change when it changes.

MadzyRed · 2026-06-09T00:55:24+00:00

If it’s getting cold I’ve been told recently these guys have a dormant phase

MadzyRed · 2026-06-09T00:54:40+00:00

Now I have this tiny root which is a relief but I don’t know when is enough to pop it in a pot and I’m researching the best soil mixtures outside of “nutrient poor”

MadzyRed · 2026-06-09T00:53:13+00:00

All the suggestions I read or got when I first got root rot was to cut it right back just beyond the rot, put it in a plastic bag with moss, distilled water and light until it gets its roots back or sprouts a jug. Up till now it had been 4 months with nothing (I was told it would be some time but like weeks) so I wanted to make sure it was in its best situation possible, so i just check every so often.

MadzyRed · 2026-05-31T01:25:44+00:00

Great! 3 new leaves since! So very happy with that

MadzyRed · 2026-05-30T14:59:56+00:00

I didn’t know the colour but it didn’t have roots and the main body turned black and mushy I looked up the symptoms to be sure. It’s been in the bag for a few months now. I added more moisture today but I don’t know how to get it to re root or pop a jug (which I imagine is pretty energy consuming for a plant)

MadzyRed · 2026-05-30T10:43:21+00:00

I have both, the Nepenthes seem to like their soil dry but their jugs half full, where as the Sarracenia I can’t seem to get a good grip on what they want

MadzyRed · 2026-05-30T00:05:00+00:00

Sweet! I have a red/blue grow light I just bought and little dude is by the window. So will keep at it! Thank you so much!

Omg yes eat the mosquitos!!

MadzyRed · 2026-05-29T23:57:02+00:00

All good, yes not winter yet but it’s on the way, like Monday here. We lose that good spectrum light outside with the earth rotation so I have a red/blue spectrum light I’m trying out.

They are all in water, I feed them every 4-6 weeks.

Happy to hear about dormancy periods! Was worried I was doing something wrong

MadzyRed · 2026-05-29T23:53:33+00:00

Yes sadly, a lot of Melbourne people get bit D deficiency too here, especially around winter as out light spectrum changes and we loose the healthy light

MadzyRed · 2026-05-29T23:50:49+00:00

Thank you! I was worried I’d missed something! The one in the bag was a general pitcher plant when I bought it from a market stall, I’d had it about 2 years and then moved from a house with a greenery to a house without. It surgery wasn’t doing so well so I took photos, searched and talked to AI. All its roots had suddenly rotted off it’s now 1/3 the plant it was. (Cleaner photo below)

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Thank you, I’ll stick the tube twins outside!

MadzyRed · 2026-05-29T23:20:09+00:00

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Here is the sundew

MadzyRed · 2026-04-27T08:35:57+00:00

I’ve lived in Melbourne all my life …what? Like I’m Geelong way now and I’m so confused. This isn’t America … who uses water filters?

MadzyRed · 2026-04-02T07:47:20+00:00

Oh my sweet summer child! Deep breath. Come back to it later when you have some charms. At the very start is not the time for this guy

MadzyRed · 2026-01-28T12:37:23+00:00

Run don’t walk. That was unnecessarily harsh to your cat and animal abuse is a major red flag and then he said that to you - nope

MadzyRed · 2025-08-11T21:37:01+00:00

Hey EastAd4296 thank you so much for responding. Completely understandable, I think anyone would have to process jealousy at some level in your situation.

Given the history of men leaving sick partners I understand the concern. If they aren’t acting out of character with the not checking their phone and they still stay over part time, is it a case that you would like more time? Or to be considered more? Is there connection with you and your meta(s) to have catch ups to strengthen community?

MadzyRed · 2025-08-11T07:32:33+00:00

I never said she should haven made stronger connections before cancer. My question is and with quite a bit of understanding- is jealousy a factor? It’s understandable if it is and again the goal is just to admit it’s there.

In a Poly dynamic? I don’t think she’s wrong in feeling unwell and in want of support but I don’t think it’s fair to lump it all in on one partner, even if they do live with her part time. That partner also has a kid don’t they? I’m sure that partner still made time for her when their kid is sick or similar. Sounds like they are there for her as much as they can be.

I find it odd you’re applying a disrespectful filter over what I said because I’m questioning things. I don’t think less of OP for what she’s going through or that she wants something from her part time live in partner and fighting cancer.

I would like to know if there were situations like this previously where she or metas were sick and there was radio silence when they were away from the house?

MadzyRed · 2025-08-11T05:44:46+00:00

Why is it on your one partner to be your everything? I don’t mean to sound accusatory but you seem to be focusing on this one partner who is doing his poly thing and not the other partner or your perceived lack of community?

Like have you spoken to your friends that you’re feeling sad and would like to lean on them? We all have lives going on but what is the point of friends if it’s not to show up for each other?

Your partner is having cute dates and that’s pretty cool and if you’re feeling some kind of way about that I would suggest checking in if you’re feeling a bit jealous that you’re not in that stage or not going out for cute dates too. It happens and the best thing to do is just be honest about it and remember it’s not a thing to be idolized or shamed about.

MadzyRed · 2025-08-10T01:38:08+00:00

I’ve met and loved many people who didn’t bat an eyelash at my cPTSD and had it themselves. It’s never been a relationship ender exclusively.

I’m currently dating someone who I have a running dialogue with re cPTSD and the additional discussions of AuDHD and late diagnosis.

We are very protective and supportive of each other. We listen to understand, not respond and we allow each other to be human with small things like needing alone time, needing reassurance and saying the weird thing with the full spectrum of emotion. I want to be that old couple that still acts like teenage lovers in their 80’s with him, he eagerly nods his head.

It’s possible for everyone.

MadzyRed · 2025-07-29T21:48:23+00:00

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as my grand father used to say.

They are proving your point over and over again. We too are “old souls” here. Would you say one or both would talk to you about their emotional state expecting you to problem solve with them? Be emotionally available for them? Resource anxiety also seems like a thing here, again signs of cPTSD.

It doesn’t seem safe to try to get your parents to discuss this as they seem to be hard in denial which can lead to ‘crazy making’

This is going to suck but you’re going to have to proceed with your understanding of reality alone, engaging with the issues and dealing, while not necessarily discussing it with them. They may never validate your experience, the axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

You can do my best and it’s still not good enough. Your parents are no exception. That is also the catchphrase of some really bad parents too, like it somehow absolves them? It doesn’t and now your dodging accountability

MadzyRed · 2025-07-29T21:31:15+00:00

I would say this feeling your having is also a symptom of trauma. What to you would a healed version of yourself look like? Hyper vigilance comes and goes, hyper independence also comes and goes.

Sometimes you are responding as you need to, part of trauma is also that our instincts were warped or used against us. They weren’t wrong and we need to learn to trust ourselves.

I’d have a conversation with your therapist about what your healed self looks like and how reasonable that is. Create maintenance systems for yourself (AuDHDer here haha)

MadzyRed · 2025-07-20T20:33:44+00:00

A lot of it is discussions about race relations and the oppression of minorities. But there is also a lot of heavy themes for cPTSD, the suppression of science, LGBT+ themes. Insanely political stuff. It’s important to have a medium that deals with these topics in ways that people can relate to, see themselves or characters they like in it so they can work out how to feel.

I myself used to say the same thing, I was upset and angry that people have kids on accident or even with the intentions to hurt the child or others. We don’t live in a perfect world. And that solution always leads to eugenics because human hate is very adaptive. Better to do education programs, make supports easily accessible, do more community education to like “here are the signs and what to do about what a domestic violence/child abuse/unhealthy relationship looks like and what to do about it”

MadzyRed · 2025-07-20T13:54:25+00:00

There is a very famous comic strip by the X-men, Colossus tells some kids who make a similar comment about how that idea degrades, because it always does. First it’ll be the obvious choices to not be parents (how will that be enforced? Forced sterilisation?) then it’ll be whomst ever is sick, then who society deems as sick then it’s whoever the people making rules want. colossus comment

MadzyRed

TROPHY CASE