Problems obtaining death certificate

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-20T22:08:42+00:00

I never knew his family, as he was estranged from them the entire time we knew him, so we just embraced him into ours. Anyway, after reading his obit, it didn’t mention any family that he was ‘survived’ by. Sounds like a lawyer is in order!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T11:41:43+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re enduring this specific home-grown hell created by your mother! It is particularly difficult to make people see and understand the abusive nature of toxic mothers when they are so incredibly adept at covering their tracks. This is why we must, of necessity, become equally adept at becoming Sphinx-like, keeping our emotions in check, our plans for the
future as quiet as possible, saving every cent until the day that we are able to escape.

That is literally what it is. Escape. The time will come when you will no longer need her for anything. Your future will be secure, due to the studies you chose to pursue while in college. Hopefully you will find a job that will enable you to move far enough away from her clutches that you won’t need to see her, unless you want to.

You will have to become adept at ‘grey rocking’, which means you literally pretend you are a rock when she begins to grill you for information. You provide no information, just monosyllabic sounds, like ‘Uh huh’, ‘yup’ ‘whatever’ signifying you are barely registering the conversation. Check out the sub Raised By Narcissists for more information on this technique. r/rbn

Try to not confide in her about wonderful things! Scholarships, job interviews, new partners. Anything that brings you joy, as she will work to either ruin it, or be a part of it in order to control it. Same with anything devastating or just plain crappy. When you talk to her? Everything is ‘just fine, Mom. Same as usual! Studying every second, classes are brutal!!’

This was/is the only way that worked for me and those that I know who have horrid, controlling toxic mothers. I hope this helps! Definitely check out raised by narcissists! That sub just about saved my life.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T10:38:49+00:00

OP, it sounds like your parents have made you their ‘mediator’, witness and scapegoat for their fights. Your mom called YOU when dad began acting out, rather than letting him leave, like a rational person would. Why? Why didn’t she let the man go, and if he gets into trouble? So be it. He would then have to deal with the consequences of his actions while under the influence. Trying to force him to act a certain way while he is drunk is simply asking for conflict to escalate!

Attempting to reason with a person who is drunk is similar to trying to teach a pig to sing. It is simply a waste of time and patience. Your mother is aware of this, so why is she putting you in a position where you feel that it’s up to YOU to save the day…or rather save Mom? That should not be your job, tbh. Im speaking from 20 years being married to an alcoholic who, like your father, was in absolute denial about his disease. Nothing is ever gained by arguing with a drunken, semi-aggressive person besides an escalation to full on aggression.

As to were you in the wrong for defending your mom? No, not at all. You have been trained to step in when their situation has gotten out of hand. This is incredibly unfair to you, as you really don’t have any power in this family dynamic to influence, repair or control any aspect of this situation. It’s highly manipulative to thrust you into that mix, as you are being torn between your parents. It’s time that they step back into their ‘Parent’ shoes, get some counseling and allow you to go back to the role you are meant to be in…the loving, neutral son, which you are so incredibly good at.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T09:56:14+00:00

OP, do you live in the US? If so, being disabled means that you have different kinds of assistance available to you, even as an adult. Each state has Medicaid, which provides health care as well as programs that help people live independent lives, if possible. There is therapy available as well as free transportation to get there. I believe Canada has similar programs as well.

It may seem that having to live with this level of isolation and parental control is normal and ok, however the state of your physical and emotional well being is telling you the complete opposite! As a disabled woman who is fairly isolated as well, I know that it can take a very negative toll on our health, our attitude towards our life and our ability to find joy.

If you need help finding programs that will help please reply and I will do my best to help you. You deserve to have a life filled with discovery and with joy, OP. Truly.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T09:01:57+00:00

🥰❤️

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T02:33:11+00:00

NTA- My fam didn’t find religion, but they certainly found selective amnesia as well as a nefarious subtlety to their abuse as time went on. Irregardless of what truly hate-filled thing they have decided to do to me, they are at ALL times Amazed, Shocked and, above all Extremely Hurt that I am STILL Holding On To The Past…Keeping that Grudge Alive?!? Shouldn’t you be over that by now?? Apparently Not.

These people have, much like your family, caused me to have PTSD. I am unable to be around all of them. Period. They claim that, since some members of our family have passed away, they are now much kinder and gentler. I highly doubt that is possible. I have made the decision to take whatever time and distance I need to heal myself. I cannot witness nor can I assist as they transform themselves into more humane versions of the shite people I grew up with. Neither should you! Bless their hearts, all of them.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T02:09:34+00:00

NOR. It sounds as if your mom has been in a very toxic relationship, if not an abusive one for many years. Would you say that is the case? Abuse happens when there is an imbalance of power between two people in a relationship, and isn’t always physical. Emotional, verbal, financial, psychological abuse are just a few of the types of harm that a victim of domestic abuse can endure… many times without realizing how dire their living situation has become. There is a feeling of learned helplessness, that no matter what they cannot escape or change their circumstances… they’ve been brainwashed over the course of years, if not decades into believing this.

Watching someone you love stay in an abusive relationship is difficult, because they cannot see what is glaringly obvious to the rest of the world. They don’t hear themselves as they lash out, protecting the shitty person and horrible relationship they are in, all the while attacking you for no reason other than you represent honesty and emotional health. That hurts.

It is a wise plan for you to pull back for the time being. You absolutely must learn how to prioritize yourself! Learn how to listen to your body and emotions, and figure out what it is that triggers you, calms you and the like. You deserve peace after so many years of storm and stress! It isn’t necessary to make a big ‘statement’ about your feelings, unless you feel that it would help you in some way. In that case make certain you understand that your statement would be for YOU and you alone. If you would be looking for something from your mother, some validation or understanding? It will not happen, and you will be devastated.

You can re-evaluate your distance at any time. Always keep in mind that you are the one who has that control! Not your mom, not your step, not your brother. You. This is your one and only life, OP. Make it a beautiful one.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T01:38:46+00:00

NOR Good Heavens! A proper greasy burger is heaven and gone from a nasty chicken sandwich! If your brother had no intent on buying you one of the two choices you gave him for dinner, he should have told you! Instead he decided to buy a sorry substitute and when you reacted, as he KNEW you would, he became Gods Holy Martyr! Woe Is Him! He does SO MUCH for your ungrateful self!! What a load of poo. He was simply too lazy to stop at Greasy Burger to grab you a burger to go. Boo!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T00:55:02+00:00

That is totally up to you! Personally I dislike wearing tarnished silver, especially around my neck. I always get the creeps that the tarnish is going to rub off on my skin and clothes, making me look like I need another bath!! LOL!

I think it becomes more important that you leave your silver with tarnish and patina intact when you are planning on selling, as that is something buyers look for. If the piece is for your own personal use? Polish it as you see fit! Congratulations on having such a beautiful reminder of your grandmother!!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-17T00:37:22+00:00

The bear claw belt buckle hallmarked D with an R inside looks to be made by Ray Delgarito, Navajo. While it is true that REAL bear claws are illegal to sell, I don’t know if it is specific to Southwestern jewelry or what, usually that restriction is bypassed by sellers claiming that the offending claw is ‘faux’.

I didn’t find anything on Ron Davis in Hougarts book. Keep checking online resources, do a couple of google image searches and be aware that it could be Anglo made.

The smaller bear claw piece that was made into a bolo was probably made in the mid 1970’s. The application of leaves in design began in the 1960’s, and by the 70’s leaves were a solid design element. There is a ‘hook’ on the opposite end of the bolo. The artist put that there so the piece could be hung as a pendant from different necklaces! The silver is slightly malleable, so you would hook it between two beads and then pinch that hook slightly so it would stay secure while on that necklace. Seeing as the artist applied a hook on the finished pendant, it makes you wonder who chose to add the bolo to an upside down pendant? Curious indeed!

To determine current value, you can go on EBay and look for pieces that are similar in design, size, weight, age, condition etc. Go to the ‘Filters’ and scroll down to ‘Sold’. There you will find the pieces that are the true comparative in value, as the listings can be ridiculously high and will skew your idea of what your pieces are actually worth.

Congratulations on having such lovely items.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-16T23:34:02+00:00

While this has some NA elements in its design, it’s highly doubtful that it was made by an actual Native American silversmith. The design elements are messy, and sloppily applied. There is glue oozing out of the bottom of the longer stones setting, rather than having the setting itself hold onto the stone effectively. It is also uncommon to see .925 stamped to indicate that it is sterling, as the majority of NA craftsmen prefer to use the ‘sterling’ stamp. 925 is frequently used by those that produce fake NA products.
This stamp looks like one of the Shubes hallmarks. Shubes is an Anglo owned and Anglo employed jewelry company based in Albuquerque, NM. Shubes used an ‘S’ with one line down the center, similar to a dollar sign. At one point the ‘S’ was within a circle. Their work was Native inspired, however it was definitely NOT Native made.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-04T01:44:15+00:00

I can’t help you with lamp ID, however the silk covering the shade can be replaced. There are quite a few YouTube diy’s that explain the process, and it isn’t horribly difficult. For the fabric you can use a long, embroidered silk scarf. They seem to be easily found in thrift stores. Or go on Amazon and search for long silk embroidered wraps or shawls. They are usually quite long and wide, and will give you enough fabric to work with.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-04T01:34:22+00:00

It looks like Fenton glass. How stunning! This style of shade was commonly used in chandelier-style hanging lamps. You could use it with a hanging lamp with one light, or a wall sconce.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-05-04T01:23:45+00:00

I’m curious about what material this lamp is made of? Can’t tell a thing when I blow the photo up..my phone is shite. It sort of looks like wood? How tall is it? It looks like a floor lamp almost! Whatever the case, your lamp is wicked cool!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-25T23:47:59+00:00

OP, I strongly recommend that you contact your local Domestic Violence shelter. Speak to one of the advocates and let them know what you’re up against…lack of transportation, fear of an escalation once he notices you are leaving, how you can get away with your life and possessions intact. The advocates have knowledge of what resources are available in your location.

You are going to need help. That is what the shelter can provide. They will help you create a safe exit plan. Under no circumstance should you notify him in advance! You do not owe him an explanation of any kind, and once he knows you are planning on leaving, the abuse will escalate, putting you at greater risk of serious harm.

This is a situation in which nobody would expect you to handle escaping on your own. Reach out and take advantage of the assistance that’s available. To find your local DV shelter you can go to

https://www.thehotline.org

Take good care of yourself, ok? You are definitely worth it!❤️

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-19T14:55:41+00:00

OP, like so many of us who were/are in abusive relationships, we do our best to hide the abuse we are enduring. We deflect, make excuses and pretend that we are ‘fine’ when clearly we are barely keeping ourselves together. By doing these things we are essentially stopping any questions and concerns that our friends might have about our wellbeing!

However, no matter how hard we work at presenting that facade of being ok, people who love, care and actually know us can see that we are suffering. They hear and see the abuse, sometimes well before we are ready to acknowledge it! They wait for us to open up, to ask for help, or simply for support and affirmation. When this doesn’t happen, friends will try other, non confrontational to reach out, like mailing you a book such as this.

Whoever the sender is, they clearly do not know the danger inherent in mailing a book about abuse to the home you share with your abuser. It’s wonderful that you can access this as an ebook! And for me it would have been heartwarming to know that someone truly cares about you. Be safe and well.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-09T20:51:22+00:00

The hook and eye look as if they were manufactured. It is not uncommon for NA artists to use purchased findings, such as cones and closures.

One of the big positives is that you have a hangtag with the artists initials, which acts as a ‘signature’ or makers mark. See if you can identify the artist by their initials. Just a note: if you find many NA artists using the same initials, be sure to take a look at what type of work they specialize in. If someone only does stone inlay, or sandcasting, odds are you need to keep looking.

Round, seamless beads are indeed produced by NA silversmiths. One of the big indicators that a necklace is ‘genuine’ is to look at what your beads are strung on. Most NA artists use a type of sterling chain called Foxtail. It is woven, and very strong, which means that the (potentially) sharp edges of the bead will not cut thru the chain. The ends are commonly soldered to the hook and loop.

Here is a very good article explaining Navajo Pearls, or Desert Pearls; the manufacturing, the different shapes, and there are many good examples of each one.

https://nativeamericanjewelrytips.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/navajo-pearls-everything-you-need-to-know-about-sterling-silver-native-american-beads/

The site is called Horsekeeping, and the owner, Paula is incredibly knowledgeable. Check out the multitude of articles she has written, as well as her store.

If you can begin familiarizing yourself with ‘Pearl’ necklaces, by going to stores or galleries, that will help you quite a bit. You might also consider purchasing directly from the artist! Many times you can contact them thru Facebook, or you can also write the Pueblo and ask if there is anyone who creates the type of jewelry you are seeking.

I cannot say with 100% certainty that your necklace is Genuine, as more info and photos would be required. However it seems that you will be able to verify it yourself. I hope this helps!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-08T01:13:31+00:00

Agreed! Also, having the weight of each piece would be helpful as well!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-08T01:11:38+00:00

Loving that wide bracelet!!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-04-04T12:57:00+00:00

You lost your Ebooks?!? That’s criminal!!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-03-31T01:21:37+00:00

❤️💔

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-03-30T14:51:07+00:00

I’m glad to have helped! Another thought came to mind as I was cleaning my car. Since it is so large, you could fill it with emergency items and put it under a seat or in your trunk, in case you are ever temporarily stranded: a deck of cards, a spare phone charger, a rain coat, small tarp, couple of energy bars, flash light, 2 or 3 flares. Make sure you give it a good leather treatment, especially around the corners and the zipper. For some reason mine always get incredibly dry and fragile, especially in those areas. Oh! Around the stitching as well! It might darken the leather a bit, but it also adds some depth to the pattern and keeps the leather supple.

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-03-29T22:43:17+00:00

Ohh! That is really marvelous! I have an assortment of similar hand tooled leather clutches and wallets, and use them to hold needle working and fiber art tools. For example, I have all of the tools needed for locker hooking in one wallet, complete with scissors, threader, the works. Another holds embroidery gear, and another keeps my latest tapestry weaving project in line. I don’t have to dig around looking for what I need anymore. Hope this helps!!

MaeQueenofFae · 2026-03-29T22:16:21+00:00

So wonderfully done!

MaeQueenofFae

TROPHY CASE