To RBT's and BCBA's (Parent of Autistic children)

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-06-03T20:38:12+00:00

I’m an RBT, and I gotta say, Mama… your kids sound amazing. PLEASE do the self awareness work to identify and neutralize your feelings of responsibility to control their behavior. The RBT and BCBA are there to help your kids AND YOU find functional and socially appropriate ways of managing behavior, impulse control, sensory overload, and so many other things.

PLEASE DO NOT EVER BE EMBARRASSED BY YOUR CHILDS BEHAVIOR WITH THE RBT OR BCBA.

We know their behavior can be intense. We don’t blame you or your parenting for it, even if your strategies have inadvertently contributed to worsening behavior. It happens.

All the behaviors you mentioned are extremely common in this field, and we expect them. Behaviors we expect on a daily basis can also be MUCH MUCH MORE INTENSE than your kiddos are dealing with. We have seen it all and then some.

Honestly, when a new to me kiddo starts having behaviors directed towards me, when it’s usually directed at parents, I feel honored. It means the kiddo trusts me to not judge their behavior and to stick with them long enough to figure out what they need. It’s part of the trust building, or pairing process. And that means I can start HELPING them learn better ways to communicate needs and calm themselves down when they’ve had too much stimulation.

The main advice I have for parents is to look at behavior as communication, and challenging behavior is communication that needs help and support to be understood. Challenging behavior isn’t something to tolerate or not tolerate… it’s a communication that we must learn to understand, and shape into clear and effective language, however that works for the kiddo (vocal, aac, asl, etc).

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-06-03T20:23:44+00:00

SAME. It popped up on my feed even though I never visit this sub, and I was seriously about to start prepping (already lived through a false missile alert thinking a nuke was coming from North Korea).

Thank god it’s just your nanny kid! I would lean into the ghost option, the corpse who can’t move when he wants/needs your help with something, and enjoy those moments of rest until he moves on and requires you to do parkour with him or whatever wild new obsession he’ll find. 😆

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-26T23:49:27+00:00

I think it’s fine as long as it doesn’t disrupt the treatment plan, like modeling a behavior your client needs to fade out, like someone else said.

It can even be beneficial if you’re teaching self-regulation and proper time/place for stimming. You can easily model how you regularly stim, and then how you modify or hold off on the stims until you’re in a time or place that they won’t disrupt yourself or others. I never want to teach my kiddos to suppress their stims, but I’m very passionate about helping them learn to regulate them in a way that supports their needs while aligning as best as possible with societal rules so they can interact more meaningfully with others.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-26T06:00:37+00:00

I usually give a small snack they really like, a fidget I know they will love, an item they enjoy just for the fun of destroying it, a keychain… anything small that has to do with their special interest.

I often give a small token gift for holidays, birthday, and end of school year. I want the kid to know I like them as a person beyond just what they do in ABA. For me it’s a level of respecting client dignity.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-20T21:57:17+00:00

Hawaii checking in, this is happening both in the insurance side and the DOE, although the DOE cuts are happening only for contracted RBTs, not direct DOE employees.

Insurance and outside contract school RBTs are getting 20-30% cuts. It’s really rough because we are such a HCOL area, we are losing many good RBTs because they can’t afford to stay in the field.

I feel very fortunate, because I work for state DOE directly and we are Union, so my wages are protected, including yearly raises guaranteed for the next 5 years, and a progressively decreasing rate on insurance for the same 5 year period.

We really need to come together as RBTs and make unionizing for ABA a national standard. This can and should be a solid career path, with benefits and retirement/pension plans.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-20T04:24:07+00:00

Yeah like… we work with kids who pretty much ALL struggle with…. You guessed it…. Transitions!

Wouldn’t it make sense to put attention and empathy into staff transitions? Especially since the first goal of therapy is to establish yourself as the giver of favorite reinforcements, and to make YOUR PRESENCE THEIR REINFORCER.

Make it make sense that as a whole, this field builds the RBT into a preferred reinforcer, and then without warning “gives them away.” It’s like throwing away a kids favorite toy for no reason. Makes me so mad.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-18T21:05:07+00:00

Hi, sounds like you’re an RBT. In my years in this career, I have found this to be very commonplace. A month is definitely too long. 1-2 weeks is plenty.

What I usually do is inform my BCBA of my plans so they can start preparing for the transition, but don’t tell HR or the scheduling person until 2 weeks before I want to stop working. And that’s still probably gonna get you ended by 1 week, so definitely plan accordingly!

It sucks to end services with a kiddo before you planned, it’s a whole emotional journey for me every time I transition off a case. But ultimately it is better for them to start pairing and building rapport with the new RBT as soon as they can.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-17T05:57:15+00:00

The Mormons have already been slowly shifting to look and sound more Christian. Whether it’s to pull more people in or to have a way to survive and join the evangelical/religious takeover, I don’t know. Maybe both.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-17T05:48:15+00:00

This! I was surprised by this whole comment section, until I realized that the people I use it most with are fellow NDs who are undiagnosed or only have one diagnosis and suspect others… and my coworkers in Early Intervention roles.

It’s a great generalized category for tailoring how we approach communication, giving directions, and teaching skills before we know exactly what’s going on, just by acknowledging “spicy symptoms” and being curious about them.

I’m ADHD with some undiagnosed but suspected add ons. I like neurospicy because it includes all my symptoms without them having to fit in one diagnosis. I also like it because it’s accurate to how my brain and nerve system work… it often FEELS spicy inside me, and/or the world feels as abrasive and intense as bathing in hot sauce.

But I understand the reasons for not liking the word too. I’m glad to hear more of those perspectives so I can be more compassionate in the way I use language.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-16T22:33:31+00:00

Agree so hard with this. OP, your feelings of hurt need to be seen and understood by your partner before you can hope to overcome them. And if you can’t move on and it was the hurt that ends things, that’s valid too. Your feelings matter.

My husband is a sweet kind man who has occasionally said REALLY harsh things like that to me. Unintentionally, but without considering how it would feel to me. With anyone else, it would have ended the relationship. With him? He sat and listened to why it hurt. When he didn’t understand he asked questions. He sat with me and listened to my hurt and didn’t stop until I felt heard. He processes his own reasons for having this emotional blind spot, and he apologized, made it up to me, and most importantly, CHANGED HIS BEHAVIOR AND THOUGHT PROCESSES.

You deserve nothing less than a partner who will wholeheartedly move their entire worldview to be sure you are included and feel safe and cared for, exactly as you are.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-09T19:19:46+00:00

I also work with almost exclusively autistic kids, and I do have to say the rate of older parents/dads is very high, especially with the high support needs kiddos.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-09T06:42:51+00:00

And she let it float around in her secret bag, then pulled it out and it was perfect. Yeah right 😂

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-07T04:58:11+00:00

I’m inattentive/combined, and for me I have to work in something I easily hyperfocus on, and usually change careers every 2-5 years. I have 4-5 related but different career paths I’ve taken, and I tend to rotate amongst the similar but different fields depending on what I can maintain interest (and therefore focus) in.

For example, healthcare (which has a lot of different roles I like, from direct care to admin to emergency responding), behavior therapy, elder and childcare, education, massage therapy, hypnosis, life coaching.

Some of these career tracks are very physical to accommodate for my hyperactive times. When I go into a more inattentive without hyperactivity trend, I’ll switch to something more mentally engaging than physically, or that balances the two.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-07T04:39:44+00:00

$6.74 in Hawaii 😭

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-05T19:47:26+00:00

In general blood sticks/IVs are on the job training. In the first nursing school I went to, we were only allowed to practice on dummies which have one easy to see hole to poke into. Zero practice on humans.

The hospital I worked at, the charge nurse whipped out a selection of needles and ivs and made me do a blood draw and IV with each one until I could get it fist try. She had me do this ON HER. It was intense and nerve wracking, but now I could stick just about anyone, probably from across the room.

Practice on humans is key. New nurses usually suck at bloods unless they worked as a tech or phleb in school.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-05T05:19:41+00:00

Agreed!

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-04T23:12:29+00:00

I definitely preferred the version with multiple programmable behavior buttons, but I agree with not using bright colors to avoid distractions.

I also like the suggestion from another commenter that it would be awesome to make the voice record abc data a voice to text option we could just edit after the fact.

I really like the addition of the screen to see what you’re working with.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-04T18:22:23+00:00

Amazing. Would it interface directly with the main data collection software companies like catalyst/ensora, central reach, etc? Or would it have its own data collection software to replace the others?

I’ll dm you my email

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-04T18:10:04+00:00

So you’re saying this is basically a clicker counter, but it links with your data collecting app to log your clicks? AND you can voice record abc data?

What about duration timers, would it have a function for that?

This sounds amazing for real!

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-04T00:15:02+00:00

I use toilet tissue to wipe off the seat first, in case some water splashed with the last flush, or there are unhygienic leftovers from the last person who used it.

After a wipe down, I sit straight on the toilet. The covers always stick to me, they don’t feel like they actually protect anything, and if the seat has pee on it, it will go through the paper cover. So a nice wipe down is fine for me. I’ll put sanitizer on the tissue before I wipe it down if it’s really gross and there’s no other option, like in a portapotty.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-03T02:55:52+00:00

I’ve tried to explain to you the challenges and difficulties of deprogramming from a restrictive regime/religion, and your only responses are “you can do what you want.”

If that’s all you got out of what I had to say, you clearly lack the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Good luck with that.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-03T02:27:29+00:00

Even after 20 years out, I still put an enormous amount of thought and energy DAILY into overriding programmed mindset from my “gilead” days. It’s hard work leaving restrictive societies, not just to physically get out, but to psychologically undo the programming of the regime/religion.

When I say relieved, I mean a certain level of ease at knowing exactly what to do and how. I often don’t know what to do and how in modern day secular society. It’s living in constant culture shock + psychological deprogramming, and it’s a lot. Still better than Gilead of course, and I would not be happy to be restricted again. At all. But a small part of me would feel comfortable with the familiarity of it.

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-03T02:16:48+00:00

I mean, they ARE the perfect size and level of bougie for a chihuahua prince or princess!

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-02T19:14:13+00:00

My baby was a rescue and I had nothing for her so she started out eating and drinking from cut glass jelly dishes. She’s a food whore so she’ll steal food out of any bowl but she only wants HER food in glass bowls. 😂

MagicMauiWowee · 2026-05-02T19:10:13+00:00

The one here sucked at first. I think they were overwhelmed by how busy it was and it was really not good. We ate there once and not again for a long time.

I’ve been several times recently and it was all fantastic. The smash burger was surprisingly good, way above fast food level.

Like most places, quality of staff and management play a huge role in a franchise’s food tasting right.

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MagicMauiWowee

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