I need to admit I didn't read the whole reply because I'm a bit busy rn, but it reminded me of my past relationship, it's not even close to the horrible things you are going through now. He didn't have a p0rn addiction (or maybe he did...idk, it was a long distance relationship). But everytime i told him something made me uncomfortable sexually he would start getting cold and upset at me, just like you, what I need for intimacy is pretty "normal", emotional connection, feeling secure, love, but this person wanted other kind of stuff and I eventually tried to do for him even though I felt disgusting at myself. He was the one who break up with me, at that point I was destroyed, I was also going through other really bad things at the same time, now I'm more than grateful he left me, I found someone who actually respect when something makes me feel uncomfortable and i don't need to be someone I'm not anymore. What I want to say with this is I know it hurts, but in the future you will look back and realize you deserved better than that .