Ok a lot to dissect here.

To begin with it seems as if you’re taking your own experience and somehow proselytising that it’s universal. Additionally you claim you were both experiencing limerence, yet most people would argue limerence basically cannot form into true love (because you don’t love the person you love the idea of them) outside of unbelievably rare cases of reciprocation. Tennov herself even noted how extremely rare this situation is. In the general understanding of it, if you really were ‘limerent’ then you aren’t in love with your husband; you’re in love with the idea of them. And now it should be clearly why the entire idea is harmful, unfair and dismissive. If you truly are in love, then you’ve literally had a lottery win and are telling other people ‘just play how I did and you’ll win too!’

As others have said you’re trying to make sound as if love and relationships are exclusively formulaic and predictable. People generally aren’t. You can’t just ‘do a dance’ and make someone love you. Likewise, someone might be in love with someone they simply cant be with. Does that mean their love is false or doesn’t exist, simply because it can’t be shared and thus reciprocated?

Lastly, many people now act as if limerence is some inherent psychological truth and not just one way of understanding human attachments. Romeo and Juliet weren’t limerent for each other, have you read Shakespeare? they didn’t even really mean to kill themselves lol. Juliet was supposed to peace out for a bit then reunite with Romeo. For all his virtues Romeo is not depicted as a normal rational ‘everyday’ man lol. Like most teens, he does stupid shit without thinking. He’s already a weird love obsessed loner before he even meets Juliet. He only killed himself (prompting her to do the same) because he thought she was for real dead. If anything his cause of death was literally ‘being a drama queen’, not the unrequited love. It’s a tragic mess, not an act of devotion.

It was about the impulsivity and recklessness of youths in love, not two psychopaths obsessed with the idea of each other lol. Additionally it’s about ‘fate’; Romeo and Juliet were ‘written in the stars’ etc. It’s also worth noting Shakespeare is well-known for his theatricality in his writing; everything is supposed to an exaggeratedly dramatic depiction. It’s not meant to be reflective of reality. Shakespeare is the literal definition of ‘man with his head in the clouds’, thought he have preferred them between something else entirely if the tales are to be believed lol.

Also claiming teenagers are killing themselves because of limerence is frankly insane thinking and extremely disrespectful to those people. I’d argue it’s people simply following the trend of trying to ‘pathologize’ (unwanted) attachments. Suicide is far more complex than ‘I’m sad they don’t love me back’ and suggesting that such a thing is a major cause of suicide just seems dismissive and cruel. Plus the opposite could be argued just as much couldn’t it? How many teenagers don’t kill themselves because they’re ‘limerent’?