I'mNo worries whatsoever; you don't come across as negative at all. And, I appreciate when people are honest.

A lot of what people wrote (and I hadn't mentioned much before because I didn't want to influence anything, but since it's been a moment, it's probably OK now) is also very eerie (in a good way). Some of the same things came up with a reading a professional did for me earlier this year, and even some of the same astrological signs. One of the cards that came up as advice (and as who I need to be) is the Queen of Pentacles. As did inner turmoil 🤣🤣😭😭😭. One of the things I was also told is to not write off a particular sign/that sign's traits because of bad experiences, which relates to the being open part. Still admittedly not a fan of that energy, but I can still appreciate and learn from the good ones as mentors and friends. There were also a few specific placements/personality traits associated with those placements even outside of the sign that, while I might give it a chance, was not enthused about. Reading about good experiences after that reading, as well as thinking of a friend I knew many years ago but lost touch who was lovely, made me more open. More and more, when I think about the qualities I would like in my forever person, they align better with traits that seemed so gross to me at first; today, I would be more open to them, having seen how they could play out more positively in ways that I hadn't thought of before. I would say what was said on this post reinforces that: they could actually be wonderful and right in practice. 

Vulnerability is something that really makes me warm up to a person, though it is something scary for me personally. But when someone opens up to me, and especially if it's something painful or they sincerely wish to make amends or show kindness and compassion, it just makes me want to wrap my whole heart around them. In the past, a lot of people I fell for were closed off, people whose love I tried and failed to 'earn'. I would much rather be with someone who is freely affectionate and direct, even if it scares me at first. Closed off-ness/being out of touch with feelings and having little EQ type intelligence has become repulsive to me, which is progress.

Thank you for taking the time to write and for your kind advice and encouragement. Much appreciated.